Tag: WoodRocket

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Porn Parody—Cowabunga!

It was only a matter of time before the good folks at Woodrocket.com realized that there is a sizable demographic who would love to see some hot Ninja Turtle XXX action! You can now watch all your favorite characters from the beloved ’90s comic get down and dirty in the sewers in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles XXX parody, “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles.” That’s right, these guys are really “cumming out of [their] shells” in this hilarious and hot porn parody.

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“You know what porn is the best porn? Pizza guy porn!” April O’Neil and Spreader (the hot female version of Shredder) are going to get a serious taste of Michelangeblow’s, Dongatello’s, and Raphallus’ “turtle wax.” There’s even Master Sphincter (“I am a furry”)! Get ready for these horny Ninja Turtles to “show you the secret of the ooze, the secret of the splooge!” Cowabunga, dudes!

Are you a dude looking to “rock out with your cock out”? Let’s get “50 shades of green” right here!

Check out more about the “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles” here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-porn-parody_us_5730a165e4b096e9f091eb59

Porn Stars Reveal What the Ideal Dick Size Is

Screenshot via YouTube.com | Wood RocketWoodRocket.com recently made a video asking adult film actresses what they look for in a dick. And even though these ladies are dick-experts, their answers range as much as the porn stars themselves. Here’s what they said (check out the video below).

To answer the question “what’s your ideal penis,” porn star Kayla-Jane Danger said, “I have one. At home.” Arabelle Raphael said, “I’ve met wonderful cocks in all different varieties.” Some ladies liked them “large and in charge,” anywhere from 7 to 10 inches. But Shyla Jennings doesn’t need a giant schlong: “They don’t have to be super big, if a man knows how to use his junk.” Sheridian Love just needs a dick “big enough to fit between my tits but still pop out over the top.” Most of the ladies liked an average-sized dick (5.16 inches, according to a study last year), and didn’t love “porn dick,” which can leave them walking funny for a few days. Some porn stars cared more about girth than length—as Jeze Belle put it, “Chode. Like a soup can.” But really it all comes down to what the dick is being used for: “My butt’s gonna like something different than my pussy that’s gonna like something different than my mouth.” Well put!

Looking for your ideal? We have lots of variety and we know how to use what we’re working with here!

Check out WoodRocket’s video about the ideal dick on Huffington Post and watch the video below:

The Donald’s Porn Parody

48008133.cachedFinally, the porn parody you never knew you wanted is here with none other than recent GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump. The Donald is following in the footsteps of Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton as the most recent WoodRocket.com XXX political parody. Lee Roy Myers, the brainchild behind such porn parodies as Bob’s Boners, Game of Bones, and Spongebob Squarenuts said that his decision to make a Trump porno was a no-brainer.

“…we’ve really felt like there was a need to spoof him. Because of what WoodRocket does, spoofing him with penetration seems like the right way to go,” Myer said in an interview with the Daily Beast. Donald Tramp stars porn actor Dick Chibbles, who sports a ridiculous toupee and orange spray tan while yelling un-politically correct, bombastic absurdities. So, naturally you’re wondering what the sex is like. Myers said, “We wanted the sex to be a parody of how Trump would have sex. It’s definitely one of the weirdest things we’ve shot, and we’ve shot a Pokemon porn parody.” Dick Chibbles admitted that besides trying to stay in character without cracking up, keeping that monstrosity of a wig on while getting hot and heavy was definitely no task for “losers!”

Feel like mixing some business with pleasure yourself? We love getting wild with “winners” here!

If, for some strange reason, you want to check out more about Donald Tramp, you can do so here.