Tag: women

8 Dirty Jokes That Will Make Women Scream With Laughter

oldsexSometimes, when it comes to sex, women need to laugh to keep from crying. After all, if the guy didn’t make you cum, laughter is at least the next best thing. Here are 8 dirty jokes that will have women screaming with laughter.

  1. “Is this about sucking dick? Sign reads: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, fix your ponytail and try again.’”
    It’s funny cause it’s true!
  2. “*during sex*
    him: fuck. ur tight.
    me: thanks. ur pretty cool too.”
    Such a lovely compliment!
  3. “Me, while he’s 6ft deep in my cervix: hey can I ask u something? Why didn’t u tell me u were gonna be late earlier. I don’t mind if you wanna go out with your friends I just want us to communicate.”
    Bwhahahahaha!
  4. “Guy: Fuck her from the back while she’s cooking eggs in morning for you.
    Response: Y’all gonna learn to stop taking sex advice from tumblr when ya titty hit that hot pan on the stove.”
    Seriously—that could get dangerous!
  5. “If you sucked my titties you can never talk shit about me I’m your mom now respect me.”
    Mama knows!
  6. “*having sex*
    boy: did you cum yet
    girl: not yet
    boy: *does nothing* how about now?
    girl: sure
    boy: sweet”
    We’ve all been there…
  7. “Me: I’m only meeting him to chill.Me to me: shave your pussy just in case.”
    They don’t call it Netflix and Chill for nothing!
  8. “Guy: *gets blowjob*Guy: did u cum babe?”
    This is exactly why they should teach Sex Ed in school!

Looking to get dirty? We can make you scream with pleasure right here!

Check out more dirty sex jokes for women: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/jokes-about-sex-that-will-make-women-laugh-way-harder-tha

Katy Perry’s New Video Depicts a Fetish About Devouring Women

katyperryKaty Perry’s new video “Bon Appetit” is shocking viewers with its depictions of her being literally consumed as food—but the erotic fantasy is a popular fetish easily found in the vore community. In the vaguely NSFW video, Perry is shown kneaded with flour, boiled in a pot, and served on a platter, garnished with fruits and vegetables. It’s generated disapproval for “catering to the cannibal demographic,” but the idea more closely aligns with vore, the fantasy of being consumed or consuming, not actually eating.

With lyrics like “looks like you’ve been starving” and “I’m on the menu,” Perry’s song is about sexual hunger, but the images shown are widely found in the vore community. The fetish includes sexual fantasies about swallowing people or being swallowed, and pornographic images shared on fetish sites of women being prepared to be eaten, like in Perry’s video: “The women are tied up, in huge pots or ovens, placed on spits or plates, and are very clearly alive and consenting,” reports Broadly. While the fetish may be taboo, people who are into vore explain that it’s ultimately a sexual fantasy, not meant to be enacted.

Looking to play out your fantasy? Our motto is the kinkier the better!

Check out more about Katy Perry’s fetish video here: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/katy-perrys-cannibalistic-bon-apptit-reveals-our-fantasy-of-devouring-women

The Company Making VR Porn For Women

Finally, porn companies are starting to realize that women like porn just as much as men. Women just like it from a different perspective—literally. That’s where producers of virtual reality come in with their videos from the physical point of view (POV) of a woman. POV porn is a hugely popular subgenre of porn, and now with WankzVR’s videos, women finally have a chance to get in on the action.

Female POV porn, which features a mix of lesbian and heterosexual porn, is promising to revolutionize the way women experience adult content by literally putting them at the center of it all. In the videos, the viewer/porn star become “one,” as the viewer sees “herself” on her back, having sex with another performer (or two). Since women have long been excluded from mainstream porn, this is a way for them to actually see themselves as the centerpiece of the content. The future for female adult entertainment is here at last—and it’s virtual!

Want to be at the center of the action? We can give you x-rated experiences in a whole new way right here!

Check out more about VR porn for women: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/the-company-making-vr-porn-thatliterallycenters-womens-pleasure

Janelle Monáe Thinks Women Should Consider a Sex Strike

rondaJanelle Monáe is making waves this week for her radical approach to women’s rights: a sex strike! The hot young artist recently told Marie Claire that she supports the idea of withholding sex as a form of protest. Under the tag line “The Future Is Female,” Monáe, who performed at the Women’s March in January, explains that she’d be okay with women having a sex strike, also known as the “Lysistratic non-action” approach.

“People have to start respecting the vagina,” Monáe says. “Until every man is fighting for our rights, we should consider stopping having sex.” Though she admits that she “loves men,” she says that she will not tolerate a man who doesn’t “realize our power and our magic”—and by “power,” she’s talking about “pussy power,” of course. Many have rightfully responded that such an extreme act would be punishment for women, too. After all, how can a pussy use its magic if it can’t cast any spells?

Want to add a little magic to your sex life? Come experience pussy power right here!

Check out more about Janelle Monáe’s proposed sex strike: https://jezebel.com/janelle-monae-thinks-women-should-consider-a-sex-strike-1794171500

Katy Perry Admits Breakout Hit Was Inspired By Her Sexual Experiences

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eatingKaty Perry has finally decided to come clean about her erotic breakout song “I Kissed A Girl.” The pop singer, who was just 23-years-old when she recorded the hit, has long denied that it was based on her own sexual experiences in real life—until now. Finally, the former Christian pop star has revealed that the catchy tune was actually inspired by real events in her own sex life as a young woman.

Perry told an audience at the Human Rights Campaign recently that not only did she actually “kiss a girl and like it,” but “Truth be told, I did more than that.” She added that while the song is based on true events, it is a “fantasy” painted into a pop tune. As a gospel singer raised in “youth groups that were pro conversion camps” she struggled with her own sexual desires toward other women: “What I did know was that I was curious, and even then I knew that sexuality was not as black and white as this dress.” We say: do what you like, Katy Perry!

Feeling “curious” yourself? Come explore your sexual fantasies right here!

Check out more about Katy Perry’s belated confession about actually kissing a girl here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2017/03/19/katy-perrys-says-breakout-hit-inspired-sexual-experiences-just-kiss-girl/

Coffee Shop With ‘Naked’ Waitresses Cover Nipples With Tiny Stickers 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_pizzaA risque coffee shop in Washington is giving customers the jolt they’re after with its semi-nude baristas. The gimmick is simple: glamorous women serve up hot beverages in hardly any clothes at all. Baristas can opt to wear a skimpy bikini, but most cover their nipples with tiny stickers paired with some very revealing underwear.

Inevitably, the coffee shop’s alternative dress code has drawn criticism from Washington residents, despite its soaring ratings on Yelp. But the female owner maintains the sexy uniform is a way to “empower women” by helping them to “feel good about themselves.” She says, “Women everywhere have the right to vote, to be gay, to be successful community leaders and business owners, or even run for president.” Not surprisingly, the mostly male clientele agree with the owner, claiming it’s nothing but harmless fun.

Looking for something a bit risque yourself? We’ve got just the thing to give you the jolt you’re hankering for!

Check out more about the coffee shop with bikini-clad baristas: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/coffee-shop-backlash-naked-waitresses-10061506

Erotic Carp Calendar Makes Perfect Valentine Gift 

maxresdefaultAre you looking for a Valentine gift for that certain special guy? Do they love fishing and attractive nude women? Well, then we have the perfect gift for you: an erotic carp calendar!

The German company Hendrik Pöhler publishes its Carponizer calendar each year, featuring photos of nude women posing seductively with fish. Here’s a description of the thrilling calendar, as translated from German to English: “Twelve magnificent carp will be presented in 2017 with no less than twelve attractive women according to the theme. The erotic moments are set aesthetically and artistically in the carp calendar 2017 and give the angler a special charm.” Indeed, the photos are a magnificent sight to behold for any “passionate angler and fish lover”—and lucky for you, the calendar is available for purchase on Amazon.

Looking for something erotic this Valentine’s Day? Let’s go fishing!

Check out more about the erotic carp calendar here: https://jezebel.com/i-yet-again-was-not-asked-to-model-for-this-erotic-carp-1790330750

Scientists Discover Surprising Truth About Boob Preference 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_brasBoobs: guys love them. And recently, a team of European scientists received funding to study the everlasting male obsession with female breasts. In a report aptly titled “Men’s preferences for women’s breast size and shape in four cultures,” published in the Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior, a team of researchers (both male and female) report that it might be shape, not size, that appeals to men when appraising a breast’s attractiveness.

The study also found that, surprisingly, bigger isn’t necessarily better—it seems firmness is the most important quality for men, which is why shape is so essential. Scientists think the research might shine light on the evolutionary reason why men are so infatuated with boobs, since breast shape can give important clues about a woman’s fertility. So, there you have it: since the dawn of man, dudes have admired boobs.

Looking to indulge your obsession? We’ve got everything you might be hankering for right here!

Check out more about the boob preference study: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/inverse/breast-obsessed-scientist_b_13462238.html

Study Reveals Ideal Number of Previous Sexual Partners For Men and Women

sexy-librarianIf you’ve ever wondered what the optimal “golden number” is for notches on your bedpost, a new study has the answer. Published in the Journal of Sex Research, the study asked participants to rank a potential sexual partner’s attractiveness based on how many sexual partners they had in the past. And according to the survey of 188 heterosexual participants on Facebook, the number’s a lot lower than you may think.

For one-night stands, the optimal number was between 2 to 6, with women slightly more forgiving towards men’s previous flings. But when it came to long-term relationships, both sexes were reluctant to get involved with someone with more than around 2 to 3 previous sexual partners. As one researcher of the study noted, “contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history.” While we’re all about equality of the sexes, we have this to say to both men and women: lighten up; it’s only a number.

Want to add another notch to your bedpost? We say the more the merrier!

Check out more about the study that reveals the ideal number of previous sexual partners: https://www.iflscience.com/brain/what-is-the-ideal-golden-number-of-previous-sexual-partners-for-men-and-women/

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are Officially a Couple 

poisonivyTwo of the sexiest, most iconic villains are finally coming out of the closet, after decades of the women’s same-sex relationship being hinted at. That’s right: Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are officially a couple in the new DC Comics: Bombshells issue. When the two shared a steamy kiss in Bombshells #42, fans went wild—but in the latest rendition of the series, Bombshells #72, fans are even more excited to learn that their hot lesbian relationship is a central plot point.

While their flirtatious relationship beginning in the classic Batman series has been well documented, this is the first time it’s been explicit. As Daily Dot reports, The Bombshells series is unique because “Now, in this alternate world set in the 1940s, we see our favorite ladies pin-up style and totally in love.” This means big things for young LBGTQ readers, who can see these smart, sexy ladies as queer role models. Here’s to badass lesbians wreaking havoc on Gotham!

Want to get into some sexy shenanigans? Come get explicit with us right here!

Check out more about Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy’s official lesbian relationship: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/poison-ivy-harley-quinn-couple-canon/