Tag: twitter

8 Funny Tweets That Prove Human Sexuality Is Weird

Some people on Twitter don’t hold anything on back—especially when it concerns sex. Whether they’re keeping it real, waxing poetic, or just being silly, these hilarious tweets prove that there’s nothing humans haven’t thought about when it comes to sex. Here are 8 funny tweets that will make you feel better about the weird thoughts you’ve had about sex.jean_koulev

  1. “Ryan Reynolds looks kind of orange and suddenly I’m wondering if I’m attracted to Oompa Loompas & citrus bc I’m still down #GoldenGlobes”
    If only Oompa Loompas looked like Ryan Reynolds…it could be a new fetish!
  2. “This sensual video of Cole Sprouse eating a hamburger will make you feel some type of way.”
    This proves guys are turned on by everything!
  3. “If I were a lobster, the rubber bands would turn me on, to be honest.”
    Lobsters and bondage—makes sense to us!
  4. “I get turned on by people who make Star Wars references. I’m C3PO-sexual.”
    The force for horniness is strong with this one!
  5. “Cosmopolitan tweets: ‘My husband loves leaving fruit in my vagina all day so he can eat it later.’
    Twitter response: Oh. We just use a bowl in the kitchen.”
    Delicious!
  6. “Hi I’m Katie, my turn-ons include smoking, scrunchies, science & S-E-X. Don’t like rude men, very loud trucks, murder or crowded libraries.”
    The lady knows what she likes!
  7. “Graduate from college and all of a sudden you’re turned on by stainless steel appliances and sales on organic food at Trader Joe’s”
    Yup. Sounds about right.
  8. “WOMAN: guys suck
    GUY: ugh I know right? guys are the worst. except me haha. i am good and nice. can you send me pics of ur feet?”
    It’s funny cause it’s true!

Want to get weird and wild? We never hold anything back here!

Check out more hilarious tweets about sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/theres-a-place-called-glory-hole-donuts-and-you-will-want

The Growing World of Anonymous Dick Pic Appreciation Sites

Image Source: Flickr.com | MattysFlicks
Image Source: Flickr.com | MattysFlicks

When you hear about dick pics these days, it’s mostly about unwanted, unsolicited ones. But online forums are changing all that by letting strangers’ explore their exhibitionist side with consent—and lots of enthusiasm from viewers. Subreddits, Twitter and Tumblr are places where members can celebrate dick pics and satisfy viewers’ cravings for cock. As one appreciator told Broadly, “Pretty much 90 percent of what I look at [when I masturbate] is dick pics.”

The posters love showing off their dicks to thirsty fans, who find the experience to be sex-positive and body-positive. As Superdude4agze explains, “98 percent-plus of the comments are about how nice the poster’s member is and what the commenter would like to do with it.” And if “validation and arousal” weren’t enough to turn dick pics’ bad rap around, the sites also prove that consent is sexy, as the pics are mostly requested from someone privately or actively sought out online. When all parties are on board and enjoying the sexy experience equally, what’s not to love?

Looking to satisfy a sexy craving yourself? We are always on board with what turns you on here!

Check out more about dick pic appreciation sites here!

Hacker Takes Over 200 ISIS Accounts and Fills Them With Gay Porn

Image Source: Gaily Grind

A hacker known only as ‘WauchalaGhost’ has created an amazing way to troll ISIS—by taking over the members’ accounts and planting gay porn on them! So far, the hacker has taken over more than 250 ISIS Twitter accounts, filling them with both pornographic and intimate images of homosexuality. He began targeting the accounts in the wake of the Pulse Orlando gay nightclub massacre as a way to combat the terrorist organization’s hatred of LGBT people.

He has replaced hundreds of profiles with pro-ISIS images with pro-LGBT messages and graphic porn because, as he explained to CNN, he wanted to offend the Jihadist extremists. As a result of his brave actions, he’s received death threats and beheading images, which he claims are good because “if they are focusing on me they are not doing anything else.” ‘WauchalaGhost says he can crack an account in just 60 seconds, explaining most ISIS posters have the technical skills of a 10-year-old. Hackers: fighting terrorism, one pornographic image at a time!

Looking for something x-rated yourself? We are all about graphic entertainment here!

Check out more about the hacker filling ISIS accounts with gay porn by clicking here!

‘Good Morning America’ Tweets ’69 Days Until Summer,’ and Internet Appropriately Responds

gronk-rt-69It seems “Good Morning America” just wanted to count down to summer with their bafflingly clueless tweet, but Twitter had other ideas. Here is the tweet GMA sent out that set the internet ablaze: “69 Days Until Summer!” Of course, Twitter responded in kind—but probably not how you think.

Everyone immediately replied with “Nice.” Why? It seems there’s a long internet tradition that whenever ’69’ appears, in any context, the response you’re supposed to give is “nice.” This is called “The Game,” which according to NYMag, demonstrates your knowledge of “an extremely cool activity (which is, to be clear, having sex).” So, basically, the internet is horny and loves 69—and “Good Morning America” just loves summer!

Want to demonstrate your love of 69? We’ve got one word for you: nice!

 

Check out more about GMA’s 69 tweet here: 

Hilarious Tweets About Sex In Your Thirties

white-1822497_640Ah, sex in your thirties. It’s probably hotter than it’s ever been—women reach their sexual peak in their 30s, after all—but you might not have the, um, stamina you did in your 20s. Here are the most accurate and hilarious tweets to sum up the experience.

  1. “Oooo baby, whatcha got under them khakis—sex in your 30s”
    Here’s looking at you, hot soccer MILFs!
  2. “Sex In Your 30s #Haikuha
    We can open this
    2nd bottle or wine, or
    have sex—but not both.”
    Well, both things are likely to make you sleepy…
  3. “Listen, I’m 30. It would behoove you to not walk in my bedroom thinking you’re gonna be the best I ever had the first time we have sex.”
    So much less naïve than in your twenties.
  4. “Is it a thing when you’re in your 30s to be normal and unassuming one day and a raging sex fiend the next? Asking for a friend.”
    Woman in her thirties: feeling hot hot hot!
  5. “I think all the sex in your twenties just fine tunes the kind of perv you’ll be in your thirties…”
    Yup, pretty much!
  6. “Sex in my 30s has been varied. No threesomes, a couple of twosomes…….. lots of onesomes.”
    Nothing wrong with some good self-love!
  7. “Being in your 30s is just wanting sex, naps, and new throw pillows all the time.”
    Sounds like heaven.
  8. “The best part about sex in your thirties is that you can go totally HAM, take a Centrum, and then be asleep by 11pm.”
    And again, sex in your thirties is sounding pretty nice…

Feeling hot hot hot yourself? Come swing those sexy khakis our way!

Check out more tweets that accurately sums up sex in your thirties: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-sex-in-your-30s_us_58d94c05e4b03787d35ad111

#ThingsISayAfterSex Is the Funniest Hashtag On Twitter 

AfterSex 640Oh, Twitter. Just when we think the tweets can’t get any funnier, along comes the hashtag #ThingsISayAfterSex. Try not to cry—whether from laughter or truth—after reading these.

  1. Get tested. #ThingsISayAfterSex
    Safety first!
  2. Good game. #ThingsISayAfterSex
    High five!
  3. Nothing, because I don’t like to talk to my right hand. #ThingsISayAfterSex
    It’s funny cause it’s true!
  4. Why are you still here? #ThingsISayAfterSex
    That was good and all but…
  5. You gonna change my grade now? #ThingsISayAfterSex
    Hot for teacher!
  6. Bring your friend over next time. #ThingsISayAfterSex
    Three’s company too!
  7. I better be breathless and not able to say anything. #ThingsISayAfterSex
    One would hope.
  8. DOESN’T MATTER, HAD SEX. #ThingsISayAfterSex 
    Truth.

Looking for an experience that will leave you breathless? Let’s do some dirty talking!

Check out more #ThingsISayAfterSex here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/samanthawieder/people-are-tweeting-thingsisayaftersex-and-its-too-funny

Grocery Store Helps Man Use His Donut As a Sex Toy

DonutA British man recently found himself in a crisis at his local grocery store when the sweet, buttery donut he wanted to use as a sex toy didn’t have a hole in it! What was he to do?! The man and his donut have since gone viral after he tweeted the grocery store to complain about the pastry’s defect, which he said prevented him from using it in an oral sex act with his girlfriend.

“@Morrisons oi there’s no ring in my donuts how am I supposed to put these on my willy and get my girlfriend to eat them off now,” the peeved man tweeted at the grocery store. But the real surprise came when Morrisons’ social media person responded—to offer some good advice. “Improvise!” tweeted the grocery store. It seems MacGuyvering it would be the only way to go when you want some sweet lovin’ and your donut is getting stale. Thanks for the great sex advice, Morrisons!

Looking for something tasty and sweet yourself? Come eat your way to pleasure right here!

Check out more about a British grocery store helping a man to use his donut as a sex toy: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/donut-twitter-oral-sex-morrisons/

American Airlines Declares Itself the Unofficial Airline of Kink

airlinesexyAmerican Airlines knows how to celebrate Valentine’s Day—the kinky way! This past Monday, the company took to Twitter to declare itself the unofficial airline of BDSM. Gizmodo explains, “As evidenced by the tweet—a magnificent black and white photo of a glistening American Airlines jet—this plane fucks.”

“We found our fifty shades,” wrote the naughty, naughty airline, referring to the kinky series Fifty Shades of Grey. Not only does the tweet invite all types of “mile-high club” mischief, but it specifically suggests hardcore, kinky stuff. You know, not like those other, “vanilla” airlines. So, there you have it: AA gets very dirty up in the air. Captain, prepare for take off!

Looking for a way to “take off”? Come get naughty right here!

Check out more about American Airlines kinky tweet: https://gizmodo.com/this-plane-fucks-1792321267

11 Hilarious Tweets About Condoms 

condomsThe funny folks on Twitter have some astute observations to offer about condoms in 140 characters or less. Some of these tweets will having you nodding sympathetically while others will have you slapping your thigh with laughter. Here are the 11 funniest tweets about condoms to help you “wrap up” your day with a good laugh.

  1. “Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?”
    “Bob… Would you please call our children by their names.”
    Ouch!
  2. “Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.”
    Warning: condoms do not protect against getting hit by a bus.
  3. “I always try to put some condom wrappers in my garbage so the raccoons that go through my trash think I’m cool.”
    But honestly, raccoons are the coolest.
  4. “Fun fact: Taking a box of condoms to the pharmacist’s window and asking for the fitting room will get you thrown out of Target.”
    But at least you’ll get a good story!
  5. “I’d like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please.”
    “Sir, that is a sleeping bag”
    *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*
    Creepy!
  6. DATE: This place is so fancy
    ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before?
    DATE: Well, only when we didn’t have a condom
    *wipes tear from eye.*
  7. “Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms.”
    Or a sex toy!
  8. “I bet homophobic guys get reincarnated into condoms.”
    Karma…
  9. “[handing out condoms to trick or treaters] give these to your parents, I don’t want more of you coming back next year.”
    [Trick or treaters generously hand out eggs in response].
  10. “I’m so committed to pizza that I’ve stopped wearing a condom when I eat it.”
    Now that is a serious pizza lover!
  11. “Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they’re already in tiny little bags!”
    Brilliant!

Looking to add a little levity to your day? Come have some raunchy fun with us!

Check out more hilarious condom tweets here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/sir-thats-a-sleeping-bag

Parents’ Subtly Raunchy Costume Wins Halloween

You might think that so-called “parent humor” is similar to how “mom jeans” look: stiff, outdated and overly conservative. But a photo a 22-year-old posted of her parents getting ready to party for Halloween proved the stereotype wrong. And that parents can still get raunchy for Halloween!

The photo shows the dad as a dill pickle and the mom as a female deer. While at first this might seem innocent, there’s something “punny” about their costumes. “He’s a dill pickle. She’s a female deer. Together they’re a ‘dill-doe.’ And also my heroes,” the 22-year-old boasted to Buzzfeed. These clever, naughty parents are also our heroes—and the winners of Halloween!

Want to get a little naughty yourself this Halloween? We’ve got tricks and treats for you right here!

Check out more about these parents’ subtly raunchy costume here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/parents-nailed-it-with-most-subtly-raunchy-halloween-costume-ever_us_580fbc0de4b02b1d9e6367cd