Tag: Ted Cruz

Porn Stars Bash Ted Cruz In New Funny Or Die Clip

cruzYou might think porn stars love the publicity after Ted Cruz was caught “liking” a porn video, but you’d be wrong. In Funny or Die’s latest clip, x-rated actresses literally bare all in bashing the conservative politician. According to these adult entertainers, porn should be for all adults—except Ted Cruz (watch the hilarious video below).

“We don’t want our films anywhere near Ted Cruz…because he’s too gross,” explains a porn star. They go on to explain that they’ve experienced plenty of gross things in porn—“I’ve been peed in my butt and in my pussy…I’ve snorted cum,” for example—but “Ted Cruz is grosser than all of that combined.” In short, they urge Ted Cruz to stop watching porn: “I can feel your tiny beady eyes staring at me and it gives my soul diarrhea.”

Looking for some good x-rated fun? Our adult entertainment is for everyone here at NiteFlirt—unless you’re Ted Cruz.

Check out the Funny or Die clip: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/porn-stars-hate-ted-cruz-twitter_us_59ba9ea0e4b02da0e13fd0f5

Ted Cruz Doppelganger Set to Star in a Porn Film

Searcy Hayes became internet-famous after appearing on an episode of Maury to prove to her fiance that their son is biologically his. But she didn’t get famous for that—instead, the internet flipped over how uncannily similar she looks to GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz! And now, XHamster is offering Hayes a starring role in her very own porn. She’s confirmed that for $10,000 she’ll cash in on her internet success and make her adult entertainment debut.

cruz

“We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme,” said the porn site’s spokesperson Mike Kulich. “I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action.” Perhaps even stranger than Hayes’ resemblance to Cruz is the fact that she has no idea who the guy is: “I never thought that somebody would compare me to, you know, like a president or whatever he was before he started running for president or anything. I mean, I’m still kinda shocked and amazed about it but God does what he wants to do,” Hayes said in an interview with the Daily Mail about the comparison. Well, Cruz fans, if you want to see his porn doppelganger in action, here’s your chance!

Looking for some action yourself? We can shock and amaze you right here!

Check out more about the Ted Cruz doppelganger who’s set to star in a porn: https://theslot.jezebel.com/ted-cruz-doppelganger-takes-her-15-minutes-and-stars-in-1772972164

Don’t Worry, Ted Cruz Won’t Ban Sex Toys If He’s President

republicanelephantLast week, the internet was abuzz with the rumored hypocrisy of GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz. In 2007, when Cruz was solicitor general of Texas, he defended a state law that criminalized the sale of sex toys. Basically, Cruz’s office wrote in a brief that people don’t have the legal right to masturbate (thankfully, his office lost). The recent coverage caused many a self-love advocate to weigh in, including Cruz’s college roommate who called Cruz out on his sanctimonious BS.

The ex-roommate tweeted, “Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to ‘stimulate their genitals.’ I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.” In Cruz’s 2007 brief, he said “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” But Cruz clarified his position on sex toys recently when he told WABC radio host Curtis Sliwa that he will not enact anti-sex toy legislation if he makes it to the White House. “What people do in their own private time with their selves is their own business, and it’s none of government’s business,” Cruz said. How true, Ted Cruz—now if only the American people were able to wipe from their imaginations the countless hours you spent “minding your own business” in college…

Looking to turn your attention to your own private time? You don’t need due-process to get some good loving’ with us!

Check out more about the controversy around Ted Cruz banning sex toys here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-dildos-sex-toy_us_57127615e4b0018f9cba3aad

Republican ‘Porn Star’ Pulled From Ted Cruz Ad

republicanelephantIt seems Ted Cruz doesn’t care about the Republican porn vote. His campaign recently removed a new ad after news sources like Buzzfeed called it out for including a porn actress. The adult entertainer, Amy Lindsay, has mostly starred in soft-core porn films like Animal Lust, Co-Ed Confidential, and Carnal Wishes, as well as non-porn work such as an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. But that didn’t stop the conservative Texas senator from pulling the ad.

A Cruz spokesman told BuzzFeed that Lindsay was “unfortunately… not vetted by the production company,” and “had the campaign known of her full filmography, we obviously would not have let her appear in the ad.” The actress identifies as a Christian and Republican, and before she found out what happened, she said that it was “cool” that Cruz would be okay including an actress who did soft-core porn in his ad. Later, she vented her frustration on Twitter, saying: “Extremely disappointed the #TedCruz campaign pulled the national television spot I had a role in…#moretocome #myvotecounts” While Lindsay is somewhat of an outlier in the porn world since most adult entertainers are liberal, there are others (including Dick Chibbles who played Donald Trump in a porn parody and actually supports the GOP candidate in real life) who are likely to cast their vote elsewhere.

Looking for some hot, adult entertainment yourself? You don’t need a spurned Ted Cruz ad for that—give NiteFlirt your vote!

Check out more about the Republican “porn star” in a pulled Ted Cruz ad here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/02/12/republican-porn-star-spurned-by-ted-cruz-hey-i-m-fighting-back.html

The Donald Trump Butt Plug

o-TRUMP-BUTT-PLUG-570

Sex toy manufacturer Fernando Sosa is sure to get Donald Trump’s kiss of death, “You’re fired!” with his latest invention: a Donald Trump butt plug! It’s Sosa’s way of telling the comb-over king where he can stick it. And if you’ve ever wanted the mega-rich real estate mogul/presidential candidate to kiss your ass, this new butt plug is just the thing!

“I wanted to do something insulting…I like the mental picture of his face going into people’s asses,” Sosa said. And now, for $27.99 you can stick Trump’s perfectly sculpted, 3-D printed head where the sun don’t shine. In the future, you will even be able to buy accessories for Trump’s head, like a snap-on toupee and a fake piece of poop. For now, you can violate the Donald or put him on your book shelf as an amazing conversation piece. You can also get butt plugs of politicians Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul, and soon you’ll be able to get Jeb Bush and Chris Christie to complete your collection! God bless America!

Want to have some sex toy fun with us? If seeing the Donald’s face isn’t turning you on, we’re confident we can!

Check out more about the Donald Trump butt plug.