Tag: submissive

NEWS: Does ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ give BDSM a Bad Rap?

There’s a lot of misconceptions about submissive women who enjoy BDSM: that they’re passive out of the bedroom, uphold traditional gender roles, or enjoy “abuse” outside of the context of being dominated during sex. But the truth is that just like any other sexual preference or fetish, submissive women find it hot to be dominated, humiliated, etc. during sex. It’s really just that simple. So many submissive women are put off by the negative stereotypes that Fifty Shades of Grey has perpetuated, namely the way “pain” and “abuse” was conflated and confused in the book and, consequently, to many women now experimenting with BDSM. best_phone_sex_niteflirt_sexual_dominatrix

For submissive women to have fun during intense fucking sessions that involve pain, pleasure, or both, there needs to be a lot of communication between partners—extremely different than the fictional relationship between the main characters in Fifty Shades of Grey. In other words, the relationship in Fifty Shades, while consensual and erotic, is not what a submissive woman in a relationship would consider to be a safe, comfortable situation with a partner she can trust. Submissive women in real life who indulge in BDSM largely do not carry on the dominant/submissive role outside of sexual contexts—i.e, they can be in control of their lives in every other way; they just enjoy the exhilaration and excitement of giving up control during sex. In Fifty Shades, the submissive woman character wants to tame, change, and marry her rich, dominant boyfriend, and essentially puts up with his abuse (though she does seem to enjoy it sexually too) for this reason. But in real life, submissive women understand that emotional and physical abuse that one cannot control is different from giving up power willingly and getting off on that.

Want to have some hot, BDSM fun with us? We love giving over to pleasure (and pain)!

Check out more on Diary of a Submissive.

 

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Submissive Boredom and Finding the “One”

By CindyBell

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One of the things I hear from a lot of Submissive callers is that they are bored/unhappy with their current Mistress, or that they haven’t found the “One” that really clicks all their buttons. Most often I get an email that reads like this “will you dominate me?”. Perhaps I want to, but I need more information than that. Everyone’s definition of Domination is not the same. I need to know what YOU want to experience and I will let you know if that fits my style of Femdom.
The same goes for other terms like humiliation, slave, etc… Your level of humiliation might be completely different than my last caller, so please be specific with your requests and instructions. I want to make the call something you will remember, but I will not alter my hard rules, or go against Niteflirt rules.

There are lots of ways to entertain your Submissive brain; you just have to have a little creative imagination, or a really good Mistress with one! I like to experiment with just how far I can push your buttons in your daily life. Not just when you’re horny and aching for my attention. I want you to think of me all day, every day, to crave for my acceptance of your existence. There are lots of ways to begin this process of course, depending on the type of Submissive you are.

This is a 7 day task that is not just about being a Sissy or Slave or Humiliation junkie (but does include elements of all 3), but is about giving up control of some pretty basic daily functions that will increase your awareness of the 24/7 presence of your Mistress Cindy. I call it “7 days of Service” (click below).

“Our Beds Are Crowded”

By Wicked Barbie

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As the noted psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud famously said, “Our beds are crowded,” and indeed they are. What Freud meant is that quite simply, our current sexual interactions are the sum total of past relationships, fantasies, and to some extent, current fetishes or sexual conflicts. I have never been more acutely aware of this than during my time as a Niteflirt Phone Sex Mistress. When a new submissive calls me, and a connection is made, that is I take him on as my submissive, and he chooses me as his dominatrix, I am not only dealing with the submissive and his or her fetishes; rather, I am dealing with the psychosexual layers of his past mistresses. It is akin to a sexual archeological dig, and one must be careful when dealing with cherished relics of the past.

It has been my experience that a past Mistress may have been a positive experience for the submissive who has now made his way to me, or perhaps she has left some emotional debris that must be dealt with in order to move on in the sub’s sexual odyssey. Whatever the case may be, regardless of her impact, she is to some extent a component of the relationship I am now establishing with the submissive, and when dealing with a submissive who has been engaged in a fetish lifestyle for a number of years, we are dealing with a bed that is overflowing with people!

It is interesting how we are in some sense all interconnected, though in actuality, our paths may never cross. As I am a fairly new dominatrix, I would submit that I not only learn about this lifestyle via the submissive callers I have had the pleasure of knowing, but also from what their Mistresses have taught them. I in turn, use what I have learned in conjunction with my own methodology, and the process of sharing information carries on in a continuum of sorts.

In any case, I would submit that Freud was correct; “Our beds are Crowded,” but do give me a call.  There’s always room for one more.

-Ze Wicked Barbie