Good things come to those who wait, according to a new study. New research from York University published in the Journal of Sex Research found that planning ahead can be just as sexy and satisfying as spontaneous sex—despite popular beliefs otherwise. “But, despite these beliefs, across our two studies, we did not find strong support that people actually experience spontaneous sex as more satisfying than planned sex,” the study’s authors said.
“When we suggest that couples or other romantic configurations carve out that time, we’re not necessarily saying you put it into a calendar—like 7 p.m. on a Tuesday, after putting dinner in the oven and before folding the socks,” explained a registered psychotherapist specializing in romantic relationships. The study’s authors concluded that the key to planning sex ahead of time is “intention, versus expectation” and to plan to regularly spend quality time together with no distractions to keep hold of the spark and alleviate any pressure. “But the intentionality behind it can be transformative in the sense that we don’t wait around for the right moment, because sometimes the mood just never strikes, really, for some people, and that might deter them.”
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