Tag: shaft

The 10 Best British Words For Fucking

The Brits are pretty damn filthy. Those cheeky buggers have every imaginable word for sex under the (hazy) sun. Here are 10 of the best.

  1. “Shagging.”
    Shagalicious, baby!
  2. “Getting your end away.”
    That’s one way to say “getting some!”
  3. “Having it off.”
    Efficient!
  4. “How’s your father?”
    Father? What about MILF?
  5. “Roger.”
    Roger that!
  6. “Rumpy pumpy.”
    Nursery rhyme? Dirty limerick?
  7. “Root.”
    Nothing sexier than a plant metaphor!
  8. “Knock off.”
    Not before you get your rocks off!
  9. “Shaft.”
    Shaft, that’s right!
  10. “The old in out.”
    That’s pretty straight forward, actually!

Looking to get cheeky? You don’t need to be across the pond to get your end away at NiteFlirt!

Check out more British words for sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benarmson90/only-a-real-brit-will-have-used-at-least-xx-of-these-words

The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels

cosmic_banditaWhile writers are known for their creativity, romance writers in particular are known for their ridiculouscreativity when it comes to describing sex (ahem, Fifty Shades of Grey, anyone?). So blogger John Ferri decided to compile lists of the most absurd, hilarious sexual descriptions he found in his wife’s romance novels. Here are some of the gems:

Romance Novel Epithets for the Cock
  1. Rigid source of heat
  2. Engorged flesh
  3. Iron-hard tumescence
  4. Love’s sweet arrow
  5. Plenipotentiary instrument
  6. Molten member
  7. Torrid extension
Romance Novel Epithets for the Pussy
  1. Damp, most needy place
  2. Fiery furnace
  3. Most treasured pearl of passion
  4. Glistening portals of her womanhood
  5. Molten need
Romance Novel Descriptions of Sex
  1. Impaling her on his straining shaft
  2. Plunging hotness penetrated
  3. Possess the lily
  4. Embalming injection
  5. Love’s sweet lava flowed
  6. Staccato spasms
  7. Burned to a cinder

Wow. Some of those descriptions sound dangerous! We don’t know about “writhing with burning caresses” but we would definitely be up for some “lightning bolts of fulfillment!”

Check out more hilarious sexual phrases from romance novels here!

Imaginary Teasing

By Seductress Suzie

Weaving The Fantasy
As a teasing Phone Sex Mistress, I am an expert at weaving a fantasy in your mind, aren’t I?  Just with my voice, I can make you believe I am right  there, alongside of you.  That isn’t your hand stroking your cock, teasing it, it’s mine.  That isn’t a Fleshlight, it’s my talented mouth, or my wet and warm pussy you’re sliding that cock into.  I know just how to get inside of your head and make you believe that I am right there with you.

Guiding Your Masturbation
You’ve got a lot to do with this though.  You let me take control of your cock. You let me guide your hand as it strokes your shaft, rubs over your pre-cum slick head and cups those swollen cum filled  balls.  It’s really not your hand though, is it?  It’s my soft hand, the one that knows exactly how to touch you, to bring you to the edge, and then back off, then take you to the edge again and again. I will keep you on the edge until you are begging for a release.

I Know How To Tease You
That amazes you, doesn’t it?  How I know how to let up or even stop without you saying a word.  And you do try to fool me, you naughty little slut.  You think if you don’t say anything, if you don’t actually say “Oh, Goddess, I’m so close”, that you might actually sneak in an “accidental” orgasm.  Silly little stroker, you don’t have to say anything!  I know by how you’re breathing, by the little moans and gasps that escape your lips…. just how close you are.  So I can stop…or  I can give you just that one last stroke and then stop……denying of that orgasm that you think you need.  Come and play with me little pets, and experience how much fun orgasm denial can be.

Ciao,
Suzie