Tag: sex

8 Hilarious Tweets And Tumblr Posts About Sex

5942090561_8656911f4b_zPeople on the internet keep it real when it comes to sharing funny observations about sex. And the most hilarious, sex-related posts are funny ’cause they’re true. Here are 8 silly tweets and Tumblr posts about sex that are just too much (check out more below).

  1. “I hate the word nut, cum is a nicer word.”“Oh, look at the squirrels storing cum for the winter.” Squirrels and humans alike love cum!
  2. “him: did u cum?
    me: yes, to the realization that this was a mistake.”     We’ve all been there!
  3. “boys get really hot and bothered when sexting and I’m probably laughing during it and eating macaroni.” Well, that does sound like a delicious way to multitask!
  4. “attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for ‘hours.’ thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i’ve got a lasagne cooking.” The perfect combo: orgasm followed by lasagne.
  5. “Having sex outside sounds pretty adventurous but what if a bug crawl up ya asshole then what you gone do.” The deep questions in life…
  6. “Sex sounds the same as when you stir potato salad.” Mmm, wet and delicious!
  7. “Fuck her from the back while she’s cooking eggs in morning for you.”“Y’all gonna learn to stop taking sex advice from Tumblr when ya titty hit that hot pan on the stove.” Ouch! Breakfast can wait…
  8. “Apparently the average person has sex 89 times a year. This is going to be a fucking brilliant week.” Better get down to business!

Looking for something to lift your mood? We’ve got just the thing to make your week fucking brilliant on NiteFlirt!

Check out more hilarious tweets about sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/dirty-tweets-and-tumblr-posts-that-will-make-you-scream?utm_term=.kcAzY7P10w#.aaax1WQ53E

The Steamiest Sites For Audio Porn

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_headacheWho says you have to watch porn? Audio porn is faster to download, cost efficient, and more discreet than watching video pornography. From phone sex (woo!) to erotica, dirty recordings are just as hot as watching XXX videos. Here are some of the best audio porn sites for your listening pleasure.

  1. Aural Honey For those of you who get turned on by a British accent, this is the audio porn site for you. Run by an “English tea addict with a delightfully dirty mind,” Aural Honey offers listeners porn recordings that range from sweet sex to BDSM, kink and fetish fantasies.
  2. r/GoneWildAudio This free subreddit lets bedroom performers upload audio recordings of themselves, which include masturbating, describing BDSM bondage scenarios, and so much more naughtiness!
  3. YouTube The site that lets you binge on cat videos is also great for softcore audio porn. Adult performers and amateurs record their audio porn for listeners to enjoy. It ranges from mild dirty talk to full-on erotica.
  4. Tumblr It’s an open secret that Tumblr is a great place to find porn—including audio porn. “The site is filled with performers sharing their dirty moments and sexual fantasies, from masturbating to having sex,” says Daily Dot. Amateur porn in particular is very popular on the site.
  5. Audible This Amazon site is a hidden gem for audio porn enthusiasts. Let’s just say the erotica featured here puts Fifty Shades of Grey to shame. Think: lesbian erotica and science-fiction-themed porn.

Looking for some good dirty talk? We’ve got just what you need for your listening pleasure on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the best places to find audio porn: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/audio-porn/

Penis Whitening Is Gaining Popularity In Asia

doctor-1297054_640It seems men in Southeast Asia are interested in whitening more than just their teeth. A hospital in Thailand is currently offering penis whitening, a dangerous and shockingly popular treatment. As many as 100 men per month are willing to travel from countries all around Southeast Asia, including Mynamar, Cambodia, and Hong Kong to get their cocks bleached.

Penis whitening recently reached viral status on Thai TV and social media when the clinic posted a picture of a man undergoing the laser procedure. The Thai health ministry responded by cautioning people against the surgery, which is temporary at best and can cause harm to men’s reproductive system and to their sex life, among other scary side effects. The procedure has attracted men aged 22 to 55 years old and members of the LGBT community, who can get five sessions for $650. Come on, guys— there’s better ways you can spend money on your dick…

Want to enhance your sex life? At NiteFlirt, we have all the thrills you’re seeking!

Check out more about penis whitening in Asia: https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/apparently-penis-whitening-is-now-a-thing-in-thailand/

Staten Islanders Are Really Into Kinky Sex

Screenshot 2016-09-06 03.44.02New York City’s least populous and most conservative borough is also its kinkiest. That’s right: in the city that never sleeps, Staten Island is staying up all night getting its freak on! According to the NY Post, Staten Island is leading the way in online sex-product purchases and BDSM website registrations.

“Kinky” Island not only bought the most sex toys but also dominated (pun intended!) the registration list of the membership-based Wasteland.com, aka “the Internet’s oldest and most popular BDSM, fetish and alternative sexuality site.” NY Post says, “Of the 68,791 New Yorkers who registered on the site in the last year and half, 21,326 — or 31% — were from Staten Island, followed by Brooklyn (19,263; 28%); Manhattan (16,511; 24%); Queens (8,252; 12%) and The Bronx (3,439; 5%).” In the words of Wasteland.com: “Welcome to the porn industry, where nothing is obvious.”

Looking for some kinky sex? Come stay up all night with us on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about how Staten Islanders are really into kink: https://nypost.com/2016/07/31/staten-islanders-are-really-into-kinky-sex/

Pornhub Reveals The Most Popular Gaming Character Searches

PikachuSexPornhub revealed 2017’s most popular gaming characters that users love to watch fuck, and the results are pretty interesting. When it comes to porn searches, female characters are the stars: of the 16 characters listed by Pornhub, 13 are female. The hot women of Overwatch snagged the top three spots—D.Va, Mercy, and Tracer—with over 8 million searches combined on the porn mega-site.

After that, “Misty from Pokémon (2.6 million searches) beat out Tomb Raider’s Lara Craft ( 2.2 million searches) for a fourth place spot and Zelda grabbed number six,” reports Daily Dot. Pokemon’s Ash was the only male character to make the list, which goes to show that in the male-dominated gaming world, sexy female characters win the porn popularity contest. Besides hot lady heroes, users also want to see non-human characters like Pokémon Gardevoir and Pikachu get it on.

What’s your fantasy? Come make it a reality with us on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Pornhub’s data on the most popular gaming character searches: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/pornhub-most-popular-gaming-characters/

This Fetish Is So Weird, Only One Person Has It

michelleSea-monster porn is a thing, but it seems only one person is financing the unusual, scaly genre. According to Vice, an anonymous man with a fetish for sea-monster sex is responsible for bankrolling all of the 100 or so porn clips that exist online. His maritime fantasies are so specific that he commissions Bitch Slap Studios, a production studio that specializes in custom-made porn, to bring them to life for around $15,000 a film.

He prefers movies in which “an actor dressed in a mass-market sea-monster costume has his slimy, scaly way with terrorized female performers.” He also wants to see missionary sex along with “mostly the girl and some monster, but never mostly the monster and some of the girl.” But most important of all, he needs “a horror feel without any goofy/funny monster behavior.” Whatever floats your (monster) boat!

Want to bring your fantasy to life? We are always up for the “unusual” on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the man who finances sea-monster porn: https://nypost.com/2018/01/10/this-fetish-is-so-weird-only-one-person-has-it/

7 Sex Posts That Are So Inappropriate You’ll Spit-Laugh

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 3.23.26 PMYou ever see a post so funny that you actually spit your drink out? Well, we’ve got some good ones for you. Just make sure your laptop is appropriately protected!

  1. “Bad things to say when you nut: whoopsie-doo, here comes the goo.” Or: a shot of goo from me to you!
  2. “‘Do you moan or cuss?’‘Depends how good the food is but usually both.’” Food porn!
  3. “Why is Santa’s sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.” Ooh, Santa baby!
  4. “I got birth control so I can stop being my boyfriend’s Toaster Strudel and start being his Twinkie.” Both are delicious!
  5. “It’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked.” The second one was kind of unexpected, but no one is disagreeing.
  6. “‘Is having a penis fun?’‘It has its ups and downs.’”Sometimes it’s a little hard.’‘It’s a pain in the ass.’” Come on, guys!
  7. “Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.” Is that why it’s so joyful?

Looking for something risque? We can make you spit your drink out right on NiteFlirt!

Check out more inappropriate sex jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/17-posts-that-are-both-hilarious-and-totall

12 Sex Scenarios That Definitely Don’t Happen In The Movies

Screen Shot 2015-08-06 at 3.55.03 PMSex is very different from how it looks on the big screen. In real life, it’s definitely not as glamorous and it requires a lot more foreplay and lube. Here are 12 straight sex scenarios that happen IRL but not in the movies or on TV (check out the full list below).

  1. “One where the woman needs foreplay before she gets super wet, obvi.” Yes, in the magical land of television, foreplay is not important somehow…
  2. “One where lube is needed.” And again, lube is necessary everywhere but TV-land!
  3. “One where the guy needs to finish the girl off because some women don’t come from penetration alone.” Ladies first!
  4. “One where the guy can’t get it up because shit happens and honestly it’s not anyone’s fault.” Preach!
  5. “One where the girl has already climaxed, but the guy hasn’t and now it’s just chafing her crotch like crazy as he tries to keep going.” Annnnnd, that’s what lube’s for, people!
  6. “One where they fumble around awkwardly looking for a condom for at least two minutes.” Not like in the movies at all…
  7. “One where the girl gets up to pee right after because she doesn’t want to chance a possible UTI.” Yup!
  8. “One where they haven’t showered or look perfect and they’re like sweaty with major morning breath.” Not very romantic—but totally hot!
  9. “One where he gives you a towel after.” Prince Charming!
  10. “One where oral is performed with a gag reflex.” It happens.
  11. “One where they shower before sex because not everyone wants to have sweaty, possible body odor-involved sex.” Shower sex is hot!
  12. “One where someone is going down on the other person for a LONG time, but like nothing is happening and the person going down now has lock jaw.” Nope, won’t see that on screen.

Looking for some real sex? This ain’t Hollywood, but we definitely make magic happen on NiteFlirt!

Check out more sex scenarios you won’t see on TV: https://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/straight-sex-scenes-we-wish-we-saw-on-tv

Subway’s Accidental BDSM Tweet

Subway’s been very very naughty on Twitter. The fast-food chain recently posted a tweet that many people believe implied BDSM. “In 2017 we subbed, we loved, and we sub-loved. All in all, pretty good year,” the tweet says.

With the words “sub-love,” people on Twitter immediately picked up on the tweet’s sexual undertones. As one person asked, “how many times do you receive dom jokes per day and do they ever get tiring?” Another person said, “as a subber, thank you so much.” Subway replied to the tweets as if the company had no idea what people were talking about—or else maybe it’s all part of the sub-dom play!

Looking for something kinky? Come get some sub-love on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Subway’s accidental BDSM tweet: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/subway-sub-tweet/

‘May The Force Be In You’: The ‘Star Wars’ Gay Porn Parody

Courtesy of woodrocket.com
Image Credit: Woodrocket.com

A long time ago in a gaylaxy far, far away…there was a Star Wars gay porn parody! Men.com just released the trailer for their latest XXX film, “May The Force Be In You,” which is definitely as exciting as you’d expect. In the exclusive trailer (watch below), Luke Skywalker (Luke Adams) starts things off with a Stormtrooper gangbang session!

Another out-of-this-world sex scene involves Han Solo (Dennis West) getting fucked by none other than Darth Vader. Director Christian Boushey said, “I have spoken to many gay men who love Star Wars and fantasize over the characters and the stories.” He added, “I think the costumes are part of the appeal, particularly the storm troopers and Darth Vader because of the anonymity factor. I also think that the mentoring relationships between the master and the apprentice have a queer appeal.” May the force be in you!

Looking for some out-of-this-world sex? Come experience your fantasies on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Star Wars gay porn parody: https://thegailygrind.com/2015/12/17/star-wars-gay-porn-parody/