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Don’t Worry, Ted Cruz Won’t Ban Sex Toys If He’s President

Last week, the internet was abuzz with the rumored hypocrisy of GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz. In 2007, when Cruz was solicitor general of Texas, he defended a state law that criminalized the sale of sex toys. Basically, Cruz’s office wrote in a brief that people don’t have the legal right to masturbate (thankfully, his office lost). The recent coverage caused many a self-love advocate to weigh in, including Cruz’s college roommate who called Cruz out on his sanctimonious BS.

The ex-roommate tweeted, “Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to ‘stimulate their genitals.’ I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.” In Cruz’s 2007 brief, he said “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” But Cruz clarified his position on sex toys recently when he told WABC radio host Curtis Sliwa that he will not enact anti-sex toy legislation if he makes it to the White House. “What people do in their own private time with their selves is their own business, and it’s none of government’s business,” Cruz said. How true, Ted Cruz—now if only the American people were able to wipe from their imaginations the countless hours you spent “minding your own business” in college…

Looking to turn your attention to your own private time? You don’t need due-process to get some good loving’ with us!

Check out more about the controversy around Ted Cruz banning sex toys here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-dildos-sex-toy_us_57127615e4b0018f9cba3aad

Dildo Drone Is the Perfect Sex Toy For Masturbating Multitaskers

Ever wanted to indulge in other pleasures at the same time you get off? Well now you can, thanks to the latest in hands-free sex toys that’s promising to fly off the adult store shelves: the Dildo Drone. That’s right, the Dildo Drone is the must-have device for all those multitasking masturbators out there!

In the Dildo Drone’s promotional video (watch below), a very happy customer sits back as her flying drone dildo allows her to simultaneously satisfy all her sinful pleasures: drinking a beer, eating a hamburger, and getting fucked by a dildo! “You know the problem with dildos is that you have to use one or both hands to get the job done. But what if I wanted to eat this burger and drink this beer at the same time?” she says. “Now I can enjoy three of my favorite things at the exact same time: beer, burger, dildo.” Unfortunately for the beer, burger, and dildo lovers out there, the video is a gag. One can always dream, though.

Looking to indulge all your pleasures? We can make you feel like you’re experiencing all of your favorite things at the same time here!

Check out more about the Dildo Drone by clicking here or watch the video below.

This Dildo Helps Lesbians to Conceive the Sexy Way

Finally, there’s a sex toy dedicated to putting the fun back into conception for lesbian couples. The Semenette is the first ever inseminating sex toy—now with a strap-on option—that has a functional and pleasurable purpose. “It brings pleasure to something that may be stressful,” says the sex toy’s creator. She and her partner were tired of the unsexy, “turkey baster” method that made getting pregnant a perpetual struggle. The device is basically a dildo with a pump at the end of a suction tube that can be squeezed to release the donated sperm.

The creators of the Semenette, or POP, offer a variety of brightly colored inseminating dildos to add a bit of playfulness and fun to the experience. And as the makers of POP explain, pleasure is the key: “the orgasmic process is integral to success in getting pregnant.” It’s also more than just a same-sex fertility device; lately, it’s been gaining traction among men in the fetish and kink-play community, especially among the disabled. And it has a wide appeal to female-to-male transgender customers. Who knew a cumming dildo could help so many different kinds of people?

Looking to have a fun, pleasurable experience? We are all about the ‘orgasmic process’ here!

Check out more about the dildo that helps lesbians get pregnant the sexy way here: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jan/23/sex-toy-dildo-womens-health-conception-she-convention

The Best Sex Toys to Give as Holiday Gifts

Giving a sex toy to your partner or a close friend is a fun and cheeky way to add new meaning to the usual holiday “stocking stuffer” gift. Sex toys are also the gifts that keep on giving, literally—who wouldn’t want a shiny new toy that will give endless amounts of pleasure? Here are some tips for what to get the tech nerd in your life (wifi controlled vibrator, anyone?) or the newbie to kink (Fifty Shades of Grey themed sex toys!).

OhMyBod Vibrator
This sex toy is perfect for the person who’s always in search of the newest and best technology—and, of course, orgasm! It can be controlled by a phone, sexily connecting partners via wifi.
Chocolate Edible Honey Dusting Powder
If you have a partner who’s a genius in the kitchen, why not bring those talents into the bedroom with this tasty treat? There’s always room for dessert!
Seduction in a Box
Spice up your sex life with this nifty stocking stuffer. It includes a blindfold, massage candle, sexy dice and arousal balm. Thanks, Santa!
Vesper Vibrator Necklace
Do you have a friend who is a sucker for jewelry and getting off? If so, what could be better than a chic necklace that doubles as a vibrator?
Greygasms Devoted BDSM Set
Give the BDSM newbie in your life this awesome gift: it includes furry handcuffs, nipple clamps, and an unassuming-looking gag.
Jimmyjane Afterglow Candle
This scented candle not only sets the mood, but also has function—you can use the wax for an erotic massage!
Wave Rider Cock Rings
Perfect stocking stuffer!
Date Night Card Game
This game will give you both a sexy way to talk about what turns you on. And don’t forget the action cards!

Do you want to be added to the Naughty List this year? Hitch a ride on our magical sleigh and you’re sure to get endless amounts of pleasure!

Check out more great sex toys to give as holiday gifts here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/best-sex-toys-gift-guide_56463eace4b08cda3488b293

New Sex Toy Lets You Experience a Porn Star’s Every Thrust in 3-D

The new sex toy the “eJaculator” is promising to take virtual sex to the next level. Not only will you be able to watch porn in 3-D, but with this device you’d actually be able to feel the porn star’s every movement as if it were really happening. The eJaculator’s creator said, “What you see is what you feel. Whether that is a guy moving in and out of a girl or a woman jumping on top of the guy.”

The eJaculator works by downloading an app onto a smartphone and then using a special headset to allow the viewer to see custom porn scenes specially for them. There’s also a masturbation sleeve (in shapes like mouths, anuses and even extraterrestrial sex organs!) that is synced up with the headset, which lets the user feel the physical sensations projected on the screen. The eJaculator’s sex tech team are currently working to create porn POV content that will work with the sex toy—and if that sounds challenging, that’s because it is. They’ll need to figure out how to synchronize the masturbation sleeve’s movements to a porn star’s thrusts, bumps and grinds. But thankfully, the ambitious team is confident they can do it within a year or two.

Looking for a realistic, pleasurable experience? You don’t need a special headset and 360-degree cameras for that—we’ve got everything you need right here!

Check out more about the eJaculator!

The Sex Toy That Also Claims To Be an Aphrodisiac

The Swedish sex toy manufacturer LELO has a brand new addition to its beloved comma-shaped vibrator the Lily—an aphrodisiacal fragrance. Not only does the newest edition have a stronger motor and the Lily’s characteristic pretty design, but you can now choose from three versions of the vibe, color-coded by scent. There’s dark purple for wine and chocolate, pink for rose and wisteria, and light purple for lavender and honey. So, does smelling an aphrodisiac instead of tasting one still make you horny?

While there’s no scientific evidence that aphrodisiacs actually turn people on physiologically, the placebo effect and the power of sexual suggestion are surprisingly powerful, so a sexy smell can definitely help get the juices flowing. And with Lily’s eight vibe patterns and a range of different speeds, there’s a lot to love in addition to its pleasing odor. It also has both broad and pointer areas for subtler and more intense stimulation, and it can comfortably sit between partners during sex. Plus there’s no need to bring the wine, roses, and chocolates to set the mood—the Lily will do it all for you!

Feel like setting the mood with us? We’re all the aphrodisiac you’ll ever need!

Check out more about the sex toy that’s infused with an aphrodisiacal scent here.

The Fetish of Laying Alien Eggs Inside Your Body

Images Source: Primal Hardwere

The newest thing in weird sex fetishes: a dildo that is used to implant “alien eggs” inside yourself. The unusual sex toy is called a Ovipositor, which is basically an intimidating looking dildo that “lays goopy eggs molded from gelatin in the body cavity of your choice,” according to Vice. Alien egg fetishists say they get off on the sensation of mushy alien ovum overflowing from their bodies. So here’s what the entrepreneur says of the fetish he describes as “enormous egg-laying alien dicks.”

“The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you’ve seen the Aliens movies, you’llget the picture,” the man who goes by Lone Wolf says. Since many people find laying alien eggs inside oneself arousing, he came up with the idea to create a hollow, phallus-shaped dildo to insert the gelatin eggs. Lone Wolf says the fetishists who like his product are just regular people from all different cultures. In explaining the weird fetish, Lone Wolf says, “It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.”

Feel like indulging your own fetish? Human or alien, we are open to all kinds of kinky stuff here!

Check out more about the alien egg fetish here.

Porn Star Builds Darth Vader Out of Sex Toys

Porn star Kayla-Jane Danger gave the Star Wars super villain the ultimate makeover with her latest project: a 7-foot Darth Vader made entirely out of sex toys! “It’s easily the most unique thing I’ve done in porn,” Danger said of her buzz-worthy creation. She’s calling her statue “Darth Vibrader,” which was brought to life with more than “$3,000 worth of sex toys, including 200 vibrators, 10 paddles, a whip, two rows of anal beads, a rubber fist and a pair of what Danger called ‘hooker boots,’ according to the Huffington Post.

Danger is a former student of Parsons School of Design and still needed around eight hours and the help of two others to construct Darth Vibrader. The statue will be displayed at the headquarters of Woodrocket.com, which the porn star believes doesn’t need to serve just a decorative purpose. “You could rub yourself on the light saber, or use the big strap-on in front,” she said. “There are five bullet vibrators in his hands — and those have more power than a Hitachi wand.” All hail, lord Vader!

Feel like having some out-of-this-world fun yourself? We’ve got more thrills than the Death Star right here!

Learn more about Kayla-Jane Danger’s Darth Vibrader here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/porn-star-kayla-jane-danger-builds-sex-toy-darth-vader-nsfw_55afdbc3e4b0a9b948535810?

Vibrators Don’t Have to Look Like Dicks Anymore

Vibrators new non-cock shapes are changing the face of sex toys in innovative ways. Sex toy manufacturers like JimmyJane and LELO are moving past the days when vibrators had to look like huge cocks. What they realized—and what more and more sex toy manufacturers are starting to realize—is that a vibrator only has one function, so as long as it’s getting you off, really it can look like anything.

This idea is what’s behind high-end vibrators increasingly abstract shapes that no longer simply replicate the male or female anatomy. If it ain’t a dildo, which by its nature requires a cock-shape, then a vibrator can take on totally new shapes. A writer discussing the history of vibrator design in Fusion says, “But why—if women and couples are looking for something more than their own, very real human parts—would they want a plastic knock-off of those same parts in bed?” That’s why these days you can get a vibrator that looks like a surf board, a cute little lemon, a cone, and even a hands-free vibrator that looks sort of like Jim Henson’s floppy eared muppet Rowlf the Dog (check them out below)—all designed to get you off in innovative new ways!

Feel like having some sexy, outside the box experiences yourself? We are all about innovative ways for getting off here!

Check out more about vibrators that don’t look like cocks here.

The Donald Trump Butt Plug

Sex toy manufacturer Fernando Sosa is sure to get Donald Trump’s kiss of death, “You’re fired!” with his latest invention: a Donald Trump butt plug! It’s Sosa’s way of telling the comb-over king where he can stick it. And if you’ve ever wanted the mega-rich real estate mogul/presidential candidate to kiss your ass, this new butt plug is just the thing!

“I wanted to do something insulting…I like the mental picture of his face going into people’s asses,” Sosa said. And now, for $27.99 you can stick Trump’s perfectly sculpted, 3-D printed head where the sun don’t shine. In the future, you will even be able to buy accessories for Trump’s head, like a snap-on toupee and a fake piece of poop. For now, you can violate the Donald or put him on your book shelf as an amazing conversation piece. You can also get butt plugs of politicians Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul, and soon you’ll be able to get Jeb Bush and Chris Christie to complete your collection! God bless America!

Want to have some sex toy fun with us? If seeing the Donald’s face isn’t turning you on, we’re confident we can!

Check out more about the Donald Trump butt plug.