Tag: say what?

6 Bizarre Sex Stories That Will Make You Say WTF

wtf-1780728_640Sex should be sexy, right? Well, according to BuzzFeed, sometimes it’s just strange. Here are the most bizarre, weird, or damn awkward sex stories from BuzzFeed readers.

  1. Alternative form of protection
    Have you ever been fooling around when you realized you didn’t have a condom? For this reader, the guy she was about to bone had the bright idea to wrap his cock in the bed sheets and then dry hump!
  2. The white puddle
    This reader had unprotected sex with her bf (she has an implant and they’re both tested), and found out what happens when you have a sudden, violent sneeze after sex: “His cum came shooting out and landed in a nice puddle on the bath mat.” Perfect landing!
  3. The myth of the Kraken
    “Me and my (now ex) boyfriend were fooling around in bed. I thought it was going to lead to sex, but instead he grabbed my labia and started opening and closing it while saying, ‘Release the kraken!’” Well that’s just sinister!
  4. The overexcited butt grabber
    This reader’s bf underestimated how small she was when he grabbed her by the ass to pull her onto his face: “he catapulted my face into the wall. It broke my glasses, cut my cheek, and gave me a black eye.” No one can fault his enthusiasm!
  5. The raspberry
    “I invited a guy over who had bragged about how good he was at going down on a girl. Once he got to my place and things started heating up, he went down on me and the ‘fantastic’ move that made him ‘so good’ was to blow a raspberry on my vagina.” Smooth move, Exlax!
  6. The strap-on
    “An ex of mine (a straight yet adventurous male) enjoyed having a strap-on used on him. One night, while he was face down, ass up, taking the strap-on, he turns back to me and says, ‘I’m shitting all over the bed, aren’t I?’” Shit happens?

Want to have a memorable experience yourself? We always keep it sexy here!

Check out more bizarre sex stories: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/sneezes-are-the-enemies-of-sex

8 Innocent Photos That Are Actually Totally Filthy 

Sometimes when you see seemingly “innocent” looking things, you wonder if they’re actually innocent or if it’s just your dirty mind. You know, like with that supposedly PG-13 bumper sticker that reads “BJ Mom.” Well, we’ve got good news for you: while you may have a dirty mind, those so-called innocent things are actually totally filthy. Here are 8 photos that prove it (check them out below).

  • Shadow Dicks
    In this picture, the shadows from the bridge appear to be in the shape of a dick. Architecture is so cool!
Image Source: CanYouActually.com
Image Source: CanYouActually.com
  • Vagina rock
    Yeah, we’d be willing to bet everybody has seen at least one pussy in a rock formation. Mother nature, represent!
Image Source: CcanYouActually.com
Image Source: CcanYouActually.com
  • Elmo Experiments
    We know what this seemingly innocent children’s book is really about…
Image Source: Radass
Image Source: Radass
  • “Insert fingers and tear along perforations”
    We’ve all seen this on a box—and we’ve all thought the same dirty thing!
Image Source: Men's Den
Image Source: Men’s Den
  • P_ _ I S
    Oh, Wheel of Fortune. We definitely do know the answer to “Where To Find Love.”
Image Source: Men's Den
Image Source: Men’s Den
  • In the Pink: Latex Gloves
    Found right in your local grocery store…filthy!
Image Source: Radass
Image Source: Radass
  1. “BJ Mom”
    MILF and proud!
Image Source: Distractify
Image Source: Distractify
  • “It’s amazing what you can do with two fingers and a thumb.”
    It certainly is.
Image Source: Distractify
Image Source: Distractify

Want to put that dirty mind to good use? There’s nothing ambiguous about the filthy stuff you’ll find here!

Check out more innocent photos that are actually filthy here: https://distractify.com/humor/2016/08/20/35-innocent-photos-somehow-completely-filthy

8 People Confessed the Strangest Things They’ve Said During Orgasm

As anyone who’s ever yelled something outrageous while cumming understands, it’s impossible to be self-possessed during an orgasm. Whether it’s calling out your ex’s name or something totally strange, you’ve probably said some less-than-ideal things while climaxing. Here are some strange things people said during orgasm on Whisper.

  1. “I screamed out that I wanted to be a woman during sex with my wife last night….”
    The mind has a mind of its own during orgasm!
  2. “When he was about to orgasm, he screamed ‘Yes Brittany!’ at the top of his lungs. My name’s not Brittany. That’s his sister. FML.”
    Freudian slip?
  3. “I didn’t realize how much I loved learning about communism until I screamed out Josef Stalin during orgasm.”
    This guy gives new meaning to the term “history buff!”
  4. “My boyfriend yelled, ‘For Narnia!’, once when we were having sex.”
    Well, sex can make you feel like a warrior!
  5. “My girlfriend and I were having sex last night. She screamed out her own name…”
    That’s one way to toot your own horn!
  6. “One time I was thinking about cereal during sex and screamed out Cap’n Crunch as I came.”
    The Cap’n makes it happen!
  7. “He lasted 2 minutes, yelled ‘I won!’ as he finished and then fell asleep.”
    Definitely doesn’t sounds like a winner to us…
  8. “My ex asked me to call him Santa Claus during sex. I screamed ‘Fuck me Santa!’”
    And a VERY merry Christmas to you!

Looking to have an outrageous experience yourself? We can make you yell about stranger stuff than cereal here!

h/t: Distractify

10 Confessions From People Who’ve Heard Some Strange Things After Sex

Image Source: Flickr | 93963757@N05 (Richard Foster)Let’s face it, we’ve all had a one-nighter that turned out a little, um, weird. While casual sex is great for no-strings-attached fun, the aftermath is not always so hot—especially if you find out that the person you just fucked is not quite what they seemed in that dark bar after you’d had a few drinks. Here are 10 confessions from people who’ve heard some very strange things after sex.

  1. “She reintroduced herself using her real name…lol.”
    Oh, hello. Nice to meet you, stranger I just had sex with!
  2. “Hey, can you give me a ride to my boyfriend’s house?”
    Um, I wish that you’d given me this information before deciding to ride me.
  3. “He told me after we did it that his dead rabbit was under his bed! WTF?!”
    Things just got Fatal Attraction creepy!
  4. “I always had a thing for your mother so now I know what it’s like to have sex with her.”
    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or something?!
  5. “Someone needs to do cardio.”
    Thanks for the inspiration?
  6. “You have the hottest vagina I’ve been in, literally, the temperature is unreal.”
    This line’s like a badly written sex scene.
  7. “I wish the condom would’ve broke so I could keep you in my life.”
    One word: RUN!
  8. “He jumped up, did “touchdown” arms and yelled, “that was the best sex I’ve ever had!”
    Score!
  9. “‘My God, that was so consensual!’ I think she meant ‘sensual,’ but it was a good laugh either way.” 
    Consensual sex is always sexy!
  10. “‘Now you are part of me forever.’ Which would be romantic, but…we had just met.”
    Again, things are getting a little too much like Fatal Attraction up in here…

Looking for a hot, no strings attached experience yourself? We can make you jump up and do “touchdown” arms right here!

Check out more confessions about strange things people have said after sex.