Tag: Raunchy

The Very Raunchy History Of Sex In The Middle Ages

Katherine Harvey’s illuminating novel The Fires of Lust: Sex in the Middle Ages offers a peek into the sexual beliefs and bedrooms of ordinary medieval men and women living in western Europe. Erections were believed to be the result of a “windy spirit,” meaning those suffering with impotence were advised to eat foods which caused wind and bloating like chickpeas. Too much sex was said to be very dangerous because it could cause the body to dry out, leading to hair loss, heart and lung problems, and kidney failure.  

German Dominican friar Albertus Magnus recounted the story of one unfortunate monk who died because he lusted over a woman so much his “brain had shrunk to the size of a pomegranate, and his eyes had been destroyed.” Medieval doctors believed, however, that there was a connection between sexual pleasure and reproduction: it was thought that both men and women had to have an orgasm simultaneously for conception to occur. With this in mind, foreplay was encouraged by medieval doctors—with some even suggesting men apply chewed peppers to his penis to cause his wife “incredible delectation.”

In the mood for some action? Come take a peek into NiteFlirt’s raunchy bedroom!

Check out more about the history of sex in the middle ages: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10268783/The-raunchy-history-sex-Middle-Ages-revealed-new-book.html

Stormy Daniels Appears In Filthy Financial ‘Awards Show’

cup-1010916_1920Stormy Daniels made a special appearance in a raunchy, sex-toy filled “awards show” called “The Fidouchies.” The 20-minute film, which roasts villains like Martin Shkreli, has been called “an anti-awards show and roast for all the terrible people in this business.” Daniels, who is introduced in the show as a “former spiritual advisor to the President,” presented an award to the Drug Enforcement Administration for its inability to control the opioid crisis.

“I would suggest [the DEA] take some Viagra, but apparently they’re terrified of pills,” Daniels said. The awards themselves are anatomically specific sex toys for men painted gold with different objects shoved in orifices depending on the award. “We wanted this to be profane,” said the show’s creator, “but profane for a purpose.”

Looking for something raunchy? Let’s get profane here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about The Fidouchies: https://nypost.com/2019/12/04/stormy-daniels-appears-in-carson-blocks-filthy-financial-awards-show/

SNL’s Raunchy Thanksgiving Dating Tips

7350054890_99bf861756_oSNL knows how to celebrate Thanksgiving—with what seemed like thousands of sex jokes! On the segment called “Thanksgiving Dating Tips,” a sleazy rich guy sings “Over the river and through my wood…” He adds, “Slide some Land O’Lakes under the skin to make that white meat wet.”

Some of his best tips include: “Bust out the real cranberries and she’s guaranteed to ocean spray.” He also says that if you play your cards right, “everything will be on the menu—we’re talking her candied gams, her vulveeta, even her green bean asserole.” Happy Spanx Sniffing!

Looking to get raunchy this holiday? Let us butter you up right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about SNL’s dirty Thanksgiving jokes: https://mashable.com/article/ryan-reynolds-weekend-update-saturday-night-live/

Chinese Billionaire Urges Employees To Have ‘Sex Marathons’

adult-1822413_640China’s richest man urged his newlywed staff to have “sex marathons.” Jack Ma, boss of online marketplace Alibaba (basically, Chinese Amazon), made the raunchy statement at a mass wedding of 102 couples at his company’s headquarters. He also told his employees to engage in sexual acts six times in six days — adding “duration is key.”

He said: “At work, we emphasize the spirit of 996 [where workers put in 12-hour shifts from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days a week]. In life, we should follow 669.” He added in his advice to the newlyweds: “What is 669? Six days, six times, with duration being the key.” As the officiant at the ceremony, the online tycoon also urged the new couples to procreate, calling children a better investment than property.

Looking for a good fuck-fest? We’re all about getting raunchy here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Jack Ma urging his employees to have sex marathons: https://nypost.com/2019/05/14/jack-ma-urges-newlyweds-to-have-sex-marathons-at-mass-ceremony/

10 Raunchy Sex Jokes That’ll Make You Say ‘WTF’

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_amy_schumerHere at NiteFlirt, we love us some dirty jokes. But then again, there are dirty jokes and then there are dirty jokes. Here are some of the most hilarious and cringeworthy ones out there.

  1. Why did Miss Piggy douche with honey?
    Kermit likes honey-glazed ham.
  2. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
    She gagged.
  3. How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count?
    You have to chew before you swallow.
  4. What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
    They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.
  5. What do eating pussy and smoking cigarettes have in common?
    The closer you get to the butt, the worse it tastes.
  6. What happened to Pinocchio when he was masturbating?
    He caught fire.
  7. What does Popeye’s dick smell like?
    Olive oil.
  8. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
    A seatbelt.
  9. What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
    You can’t jelly something up your ass.
  10. What’s red and has seven dents in it?
    Snow White’s cherry.

Looking for something a little raunchy? Let’s get dirty!

Check out more dirty jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/nsfw-sex-jokes

5 Fancy Establishments That Used To Be Raunchy Sex Clubs

15929936930_14a78eca47_mIn many of New York City’s most upscale spots, the expression “If these walls could talk” is definitely applicable. That’s because the sites of several chi-chi establishments have a way wilder, raunchier past. Here are some fancy places that used to cater to a much seedier, much sexier clientele.

  1. DOS CAMINOS (675 Hudson Street)
    At this Meatpacking joint that now sells swank Mexican food, “meat used to be seriously packed,” as Papermag puts it. “The place used to be the Vault—the hardcore S&M club where CEOs got whipped and waxed until 1997.” Escandaloso!
  2. SUGAR FACTORY (835 Washington St)
    This trendy spot used to be the Mineshaft from 1977 to 1985, aka the most notoriously raunchy gay sex hangout of all, “where studs congregated around the communal bathtub to relieve themselves on a willing slave.” It’s like the song says, “Pour some sugar on [slave]!”
  3. LEFT BANK NYC (117 Perry Street)
    This fancy spot catering in pork chops and pickles used to have a very different type of sausage in its kitchen in the 1970s. It was the International Stud, where a legendary side room catered to horny gays yanking out their sausages!
  4. SHAKE SHACK (691 8th Avenue)
    This touristy Times Square destination was once the all-male porn theater the Adonis. Until finally closing in 1994, it hosted “dirty movies and raunchy real-life blow jobs among the customers, all creating a multimedia skankfest of delight.”
  5. JUE LAN CLUB AT LIMELIGHT SHOPS (47 W. 20th Street)
    This swanky Chinese spot was the nightclub the Limelight back in the ’80s and ’90s, “a mecca for raucous clubbies on drugs and occasionally on their knees. The stuff you saw in the stairway alone!”

Want to take a (raunchy) trip back in time? You don’t need a flux capacitor and a DeLorean to be brought to your knees—come get wild with us right here!

Check out more swank establishments that used to be raunchy sex clubs: https://www.papermag.com/five-fancy-restaurants-that-used-to-be-raunchy-sex-clubs-1820166323.html