Tag: pussy

NEWS: Hallelujah! “Pussy” Can Now Be Said Uncensored on Comedy Central

Thanks to the staff on Amy Schumer’s Show, Inside Amy Schumer, you can now hear the word “pussy” bleep-free, hassle-free, and with impunity on Comedy Central. Fans of the show appreciate comedian Amy Schumer for her filthy sense of humor, and now they can fully appreciate her jokes in all their dirty glory. The show argues that saying “pussy” on network television revolutionizes television forever. Here’s the story: best_phone_sex_niteflirt_amy_schumer

Executive producer, Dan Powell, brought up this very important issue during season 2. Amy Schumer says, “Dan decided that it wasn’t fair that they bleep the word ‘pussy.’” This is because you are allowed to say “dick” on Comedy Central, which Dan considered a sexist double standard. Powell wrote a letter of complaint to the network, and they agreed to no longer censor “pussy” on air. Schumer says of this landmark moment in television history, “That was Dan’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” God bless America!

Want to celebrate this momentous occasion with us? We know the perfect way—three cheers for pussy-love!

 

www.NiteFlirt.com

NEWS: Kegels 2.0!

I guess Betty White was spot on when she said, ““Why do people say, “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” Betty was absolutely right. According to the Huffington Post, Tatyana Kozhevnikova unofficially has the world’s strongest vagina! She recently put her powerful peach on display at the “Body Shocking Show” in England.

Tatyana proves her strength by inserting a wooden egg into her vagina while attaching the weight to the egg. She contracts her muscles from down under around the egg, and lifts the weight like a champ! I would suggest trying Kegels before attempting this! Reportedly, Tatyana says in the video it has taken her 20 years of practice. Practice does make perfect! I should note that she does not hold a Guinness World Record; there is no Guinness World Record for the strongest vajayjay. Perhaps Guinness could work on this, and give credit where credit is due. Lots of people enjoy and appreciate vaginal strength!

Like with any other consistent workout regime, the results have to be amazing. Tatyana recommends this vaginal workout to any woman that wants to be a sexual dynamo, “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.” I seriously need to incorporate this into my pilates routine whilst bumpin’ Prince’s “Pussy Control.

Imaginary Teasing

By Seductress Suzie

Weaving The Fantasy
As a teasing Phone Sex Mistress, I am an expert at weaving a fantasy in your mind, aren’t I?  Just with my voice, I can make you believe I am right  there, alongside of you.  That isn’t your hand stroking your cock, teasing it, it’s mine.  That isn’t a Fleshlight, it’s my talented mouth, or my wet and warm pussy you’re sliding that cock into.  I know just how to get inside of your head and make you believe that I am right there with you.

Guiding Your Masturbation
You’ve got a lot to do with this though.  You let me take control of your cock. You let me guide your hand as it strokes your shaft, rubs over your pre-cum slick head and cups those swollen cum filled  balls.  It’s really not your hand though, is it?  It’s my soft hand, the one that knows exactly how to touch you, to bring you to the edge, and then back off, then take you to the edge again and again. I will keep you on the edge until you are begging for a release.

I Know How To Tease You
That amazes you, doesn’t it?  How I know how to let up or even stop without you saying a word.  And you do try to fool me, you naughty little slut.  You think if you don’t say anything, if you don’t actually say “Oh, Goddess, I’m so close”, that you might actually sneak in an “accidental” orgasm.  Silly little stroker, you don’t have to say anything!  I know by how you’re breathing, by the little moans and gasps that escape your lips…. just how close you are.  So I can stop…or  I can give you just that one last stroke and then stop……denying of that orgasm that you think you need.  Come and play with me little pets, and experience how much fun orgasm denial can be.

Ciao,
Suzie

In Support of Gay Marriage!

By Saras Playroom

I have personally overseen the marriage of two of my Niteflirt callers and this could be your fate, too. Secret gay sex at the sexstore or hooking up from online classified ads with other men on the downlow? No, I will be turning you ultra gay instead. I will make you break up with your girlfriend or divorce your wife and embrace your openly gay sexual destiny. Do you really think that your girlfriend or wife wants to be kissing the mouth that secretly sucks cock and slurps up cum? No! Your girlfriend or wife should be set free to find a real man. And so should you find a real gay man who you will marry!

My newest Niteflirt Pay to View, INSTAGAY! Be Turned Gay in 24 Hours! is turning men gay even faster and yes, it’s irreversible! Once you go gay, there is no going back to straight or bi-curious. I have turned thousands of men gay on Niteflirt. I have heard how many of you have to pop the little blue pill to have sex with your girlfriend or wife because your dick doesn’t get hard for pussy anymore, it only gets hard for cock! I have heard your little lies that you tell your gfs or wives about your problem with supposed “erectile dysfunction”, when you can get hard, just not for pussy! I have heard you fags confess that in order to keep your dicks hard enough to fuck women, that you have to imagine you are sucking cock or getting fucked! If this sounds like you, you know who to call on Niteflirt to begin your journey to gay marriage.