Riley Reid Helps Put Porn Back Into Memes

Originally posted to The Daily Dot

It makes sense that porn and memes just seem to go together. And the latest amusing screengrab of porn star Riley Reid saying “Oh fuck, put it back in!” is no exception. The meme of the adult entertainer’s face while getting her hair pulled goes surprisingly well with the most mundane situations (check them out below).

There’s even a popular subreddit that’s made a game of listing scenarios where “put it back in!” would be appropriate. Things like, “When you take your hot pocket out of the microwave but it’s still cold in the middle” and “When your headphones catch on a doorknob and pop outta your ears” are good examples. Reid isn’t the first porn star to be featured in a hilarious meme (think: Tori Black’s notable “It’s so fucking big!”), but we’re guessing this meme will be “in” for a long, long time.

Looking for some memorable adult entertainment? Who needs porn when you’ve got the real thing right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Riley Reid porn meme: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/porn-meme-put-it-back-in/

This BDSM-Inspired Variety Show Is Hosted By a Porn Star and a Dominatrix 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_sexual_dominatrixFinally, variety shows are getting the BDSM punishment they’ve always needed thanks to Paid or Pain, the traveling stage show by retired famous porn star Lisa Ann and comedian Jay Nog. The gong-ruled variety show features four newbie comics, who get punished by a dominatrix if they’re bad. Such punishments include clothes pins on extremities, metal paddle spankings, mouse traps, one especially nasty-looking stun gun. Ouch!

While the plan is to eventually format the naughty entertainment for TV, for now the BDSM-inspired road show is strictly for the stage. Between jokes, you can ask uber-famous porn veteran Lisa Ann anything—except “if you can have sex with me or how much it costs to have sex with me.” There’s even a banana-eating contest and porn trivia where the audience gets a shot to take home one of Ann’s sex toys (there’s a Fleshlight modeled after her). “I just hope somebody comes,” says a standup who gets the pain treatment. “You guys look like you came here to masturbate.”

Have you been very bad lately? Come get your punishment the sexy way here!

Check out more about the BDSM-inspired variety show: https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/lisa-ann-sxsw-dominatrix-paid-or-pain/

Evan Stone Is Making Porn Great Again With His Donald Trump XXX Parodies

Screenshot via HUSTLER on YouTube

Evan Stone is one of the most famous living male porn stars still making smut, and he knows the secret to his success is finding humor in the sex industry. “People want to laugh and they want to jerk off, and that’s why I’m here,” he says in an interview with Vice. That explains why his newest hilarious porn gig playing Donald Trump is so perfect.

Vice describes the porn as so over-the-top that it’s more like dirty vaudeville than something you’d want to jerk off to: “There’s a debate scene with a faux-Hillary that ends in both characters getting covered in semen.” Stone believes that slapstick adult humor is just what the country needs right now, and since Trump is officially here to stay—for the next four years, anyway—so will Stone’s XXX Trump porn parodies. “All I’m certain about is that the next four years are going to be funny as shit. I don’t even know how I’ll be able to keep up,” says Stone.

Looking for a little levity yourself? Come get an adult dose of humor right here!

Check out more about Evan Stone’s DT porn parodies: https://www.vice.com/read/evan-stone-is-the-president-of-pornQ

8 Porn Stars’ Confessions 

Image Source: Screenshot capture from PornHub via The Daily BeastWorking in the adult film industry isn’t all fun and games. While some adult entertainers thrive on the hot sex and the empowerment they feel doing it on camera, others feel they need to hide their porn identities from friends and family. Here are 8 confessions from real people in porn.

  1. No one that knows me would ever guess I get paid to do amateur porn. They all think I’m so proper and ladylike.”
    Lady on the street, freak in the sheets. What a naughty, secret double-life!
  2. I’ve been in 10 amateur lesbian porn videos to pay for college. I don’t regret it at all.”
    Ain’t no shame in this college grad’s game!
  3. I worked in the porn industry and now all I want to do is watch people have sex.”
    Makes sense to us!
  4. I have no idea what to tell my family when they ask me what my career is. I’m a porn star and there’s no way I can open up about it.”
    Probably wouldn’t make for polite dinner conversation…
  5. I work in porn and I love it because I can live out my sexual fantasies in a safe, controlled space.”
    Dream job!
  6. I’m a porn star, but I don’t know how to tell my new girlfriend. I’m afraid I might scare her away.”
    Professional hazard of being a porn star.
  7. I’m a porn star and can’t help but wonder how many people I pass on the street have seen me naked.”
    One of the big questions in life…
  8. Working in porn gave me a greater sense of self and higher standards of men.”
    Right on!

Want to live out your sexual fantasies? Come get down like a porn star with us!

Check out more porn stars’ confessions here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTMR5MXaexU

Former Disney Star Is Featured In Gay Porn Drama ‘King Cobra’

Screenshot via YouTube | IFC Films
Screenshot via YouTube | IFC Films

It’s not shocking anymore to see a former Disney star break away from their squeaky clean image by sexing it up. So it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that former Disney Channel star Garrett Clayton has gone from The Teen Beach Moviestar to playing a gay porn star in the new gay porn drama King Cobra. What is taking everyone a bit off guard, however, is just how seamlessly the boy-next-door transforms into a corruptible, super hot porn star!

“Based on a stranger-than-fiction true story, King Cobra is a deliciously dark, twisted plunge into the behind-the-scenes world of the pornography industry,” reports Gaily Grind. The movie takes place in the early aughts, when internet porn was still behind a paywall. Enter closeted gay porn mogul (Christian Slater), who started the skin flick empire Cobra Video from his seemingly ordinary suburban home. Starring James Franco as a rival porn producer who’ll stop at nothing to recruit the fresh-faced XXX up-and-comer, this sexy satire is sure to have audiences gasping in horror and delight!

Looking for something surprising yourself? We can always shock you here!

Check out more about the former Disney star featured in gay porn drama ‘King Cobra’ at the link below the trailer:

Want more? Click here to read more on the Gaily Grind. 

Porn Stars Reveal What the Ideal Dick Size Is

Screenshot via YouTube.com | Wood RocketWoodRocket.com recently made a video asking adult film actresses what they look for in a dick. And even though these ladies are dick-experts, their answers range as much as the porn stars themselves. Here’s what they said (check out the video below).

To answer the question “what’s your ideal penis,” porn star Kayla-Jane Danger said, “I have one. At home.” Arabelle Raphael said, “I’ve met wonderful cocks in all different varieties.” Some ladies liked them “large and in charge,” anywhere from 7 to 10 inches. But Shyla Jennings doesn’t need a giant schlong: “They don’t have to be super big, if a man knows how to use his junk.” Sheridian Love just needs a dick “big enough to fit between my tits but still pop out over the top.” Most of the ladies liked an average-sized dick (5.16 inches, according to a study last year), and didn’t love “porn dick,” which can leave them walking funny for a few days. Some porn stars cared more about girth than length—as Jeze Belle put it, “Chode. Like a soup can.” But really it all comes down to what the dick is being used for: “My butt’s gonna like something different than my pussy that’s gonna like something different than my mouth.” Well put!

Looking for your ideal? We have lots of variety and we know how to use what we’re working with here!

Check out WoodRocket’s video about the ideal dick on Huffington Post and watch the video below:

Porn Stars Give Guys Oral Sex Tips

womandominatingmanHelpful porn stars decided to give some clueless guys a tutorial about how to eat pussy. To help the guys learn the right way to please ladies during foreplay, the porn stars demonstrated how to give really good head on oysters. And as you can imagine, things got very messy, and very weird (check out the video below). Here are some highlights.

First, one porn star demonstrated how to get a lady all revved up by kissing the oyster as if it were the belly, down to the thighs, and so on. Then, a different porn star instructed her student “to lick up and down, and spit on it [here she spits on her oyster]. Get it all nice and wet.” In other questionable advice, a porn star tells her student that he’s “gotta buff it first.” One lady gave excellent advice: “definitely if she says, ‘Don’t stop, keep going,” please don’t stop!” One student asked a very good question [after putting too much tabasco on his oyster]: “if a pussy burns your face, what should you do?” The answer: “run!” Other helpful tips included swirling and using an unpredictable rhythm with the tongue on the clit, and definitely using fingers in addition to giving her clit lots of love and attention. Oh yeah, and definitely don’t squeeze lemon on her pussy!

In the mood for some messy fun yourself? You don’t need a dozen oysters to get a lady to yell, “please don’t stop!”

Check out the video of porn stars teaching guys to eat pussy on oysters here: https://distractify.com/humor/2015/12/10/mustafa-porn-stars-drop-knowledge

Porn Star Builds Darth Vader Out of Sex Toys

Porn star Kayla-Jane Danger gave the Star Wars super villain the ultimate makeover with her latest project: a 7-foot Darth Vader made entirely out of sex toys! “It’s easily the most unique thing I’ve done in porn,” Danger said of her buzz-worthy creation. She’s calling her statue “Darth Vibrader,” which was brought to life with more than “$3,000 worth of sex toys, including 200 vibrators, 10 paddles, a whip, two rows of anal beads, a rubber fist and a pair of what Danger called ‘hooker boots,’ according to the Huffington Post.

Courtesy of woodrocket.com
Courtesy of woodrocket.com

Danger is a former student of Parsons School of Design and still needed around eight hours and the help of two others to construct Darth Vibrader. The statue will be displayed at the headquarters of Woodrocket.com, which the porn star believes doesn’t need to serve just a decorative purpose. “You could rub yourself on the light saber, or use the big strap-on in front,” she said. “There are five bullet vibrators in his hands — and those have more power than a Hitachi wand.” All hail, lord Vader!

Feel like having some out-of-this-world fun yourself? We’ve got more thrills than the Death Star right here!

Learn more about Kayla-Jane Danger’s Darth Vibrader here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/porn-star-kayla-jane-danger-builds-sex-toy-darth-vader-nsfw_55afdbc3e4b0a9b948535810?

NEWS: Porn Stars Explain Net Neutrality

Net neutrality can be a bit confusing, so Funny or Die recruited three porn stars to break down the issue in a funny, sexy way. Basically, it comes down to one very important point: without net neutrality internet providers can slow down your internet unless you pay more, which means slower porn. It’s true—if it was up to ISP giants like Comcast, the porn you’re streaming could get throttled unless you pay for faster speeds. They could even force porn websites to shell out big bucks to make their packets fast enough to make streaming porn possible.

One porn star quips, “You never hear anyone moaning, ‘Slower! Slower!’ when they’re fucking. Another explains that President Obama stands “hard and firm on the issue” (in her sexiest bedroom voice), because “poor people should be able to watch porn just as fast as rich people.” But, the ladies explain, Senator Ted Cruz (“who is not sexy”) is taking money from Comcast and wants to end net neutrality because “he doesn’t want me to get naked for you!” It pretty much comes down to this: “the internet is a giant sex party where anyone gets to have sex with anyone they want. Without net neutrality, that sex party is only for rich people.”

We know a faster way than streaming to have an internet sex party! Everyone who’s not Ted Cruz is invited!

 

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