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Antonio Brown Had Some Boner Problems on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Steeler’s wide receiver Antonio Brown just couldn’t contain his excitement while dancing with his sexy partner on “Dancing With the Stars”—literally. After a smoking dance routine, which involved lots of flirtatious kissing, touching and rubbing, the host immediately asked how he managed to stay, um, in control through it all. And, not surprisingly, the conversation went straight to Boner Town.

“I mean, [you] don’t need coaching on sexiness. We just call that flat out delicious,” said the host to a blushing Brown about the ridiculous chemistry on the dance floor. Then she said to the hot, red-headed dancer, “So the best part about this is you basically became a coach for Antonio, teaching him rubbing, touching…” Antonio admitted that the week he spent preparing for the performance was “a little difficult” because of “blood flow.” The host added “booming. Boom.ing!” Well, that’s one way to keep up your energy during practice!

Looking to get some “blood flow” into your life? Come dance with us!

Check out the video of Antonio Brown’s boner problems on “Dancing With the Stars” here: https://deadspin.com/antonio-brown-had-some-boner-problems-while-training-fo-1767966069

Men in Cuba Are Putting Pearls in Their Dicks To Become Better Lovers

In the latest baffling sex trend, men in Cuba are surgically inserting pearls into their cocks to become better lovers. In Cuba, sexual prowess is everything, which is why men go to dangerous lengths to enhance themselves downstairs. The pearl, which is a tiny ball made of plastic, is slipped in under the skin of the penis through a small incision. According to Cuban myth, “women who feel the pearl go mad with pleasure.”

Unfortunately, the surgery is not often performed with proper sanitary measures, and many of the men become infected and need to have the pearl removed because of complications, such as tetanus, balanitis, and gangrene. But what’s even more shocking than the riskiness involved is the fact that the pearl doesn’t actually make sex more pleasurable for women. Dr. Almudena López, a sex therapist in Cuba, told Vice that “for it to really stimulate the clitoris, the pearl should be placed at the very base of the penis, which never happens. As for the G-spot, that’s something you can easily reach with a finger, but it’s much more complicated to reach directly with the penis.” We think it’s fair to say that these guys might consider giving the pearl to the sexy lady in their lives with a ring or necklace—instead of with their cocks!

Want to enhance your sex life the natural way? You don’t need pearls to make the ladies around here go mad with pleasure!

Check out more about “the pearl” here: https://distractify.com/sex-relationships/2016/03/09/pearl-enhancements

Donald Trump Wanted to Debate His Dick Size

In what has to be one of the most bizarre moments in election history, Donald Trump felt the need to bring up his dick as an important talking point during the most recent GOP presidential debate. Trump wants the American people to rest assured that he does not have a small penis. Because, obviously, one of the most important requirements for being the leader of the free world is cock size.

He was responding to comments Marco Rubio made about Trump’s hands, when Rubio basically implied—much in the way that middler schoolers do—that his small hands mean he also has a small penis. Trump responded by saying, “Look at those hands. Are they small hands? [Rubio] referred to my hands, ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.” Rubio brought up Trump’s hands as a response to being called “Little Rubio” by the businessman, saying, “And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.” There’s only one logical way for this public pissing match to end: with both candidates whipping out Little Trump and Little Rubio and letting the people decide! Now that’s the American way!

Want to “bring up the cock” in non-political ways? We can guarantee there’s no problem with that!

Check out more about Donald Trump debating his dick size here: https://www.cnn.com/2016/03/03/politics/donald-trump-small-hands-marco-rubio/

Meet the Woman Who’s a Professional Dick Photographer

New York City photographer Soraya Doolbaz has managed to turn her hobby of taking dick pics into a successful career. Well before she started turning dicks into works of art, she’d look at the dick pics sent to her and think about how much better she could do if she took them herself with a nice camera. Then one day after noticing dolls in a Walmart, she got the idea to create personalities out of dicks by dressing them up in specially made costumes.

Eager friends started calling her to photograph their boyfriends, who agreed to have their cocks dressed up and photographed professionally. The girlfriends fluff, Doolbaz takes the dick pics, and everyone’s happy. As one model put it, “everybody wants to feel desirable.” Doolbaz now has a booming dick pic business, and she’s even shown her work at Art Basel, one the biggest international art fares in the world. She also sells adult novelty items like dick calendars and mugs. “It’s surprising and very delightful that people just like dicks on things,” she says. Ain’t that the truth!

Looking for ways to feel desirable? We can make you feel like a work of art right here!

Check out more about the woman who’s a professional dick photographer here: https://nypost.com/video/meet-the-penis-fashion-photographer/

Ravers Protest Over Glory Holes

Every raver knows the essentials of a killer party: speaker-thumping music, crazy get-ups, laser lights and Day-Glo, and of course, glory holes! That’s why hundreds of protesters have taken up camp in Montreal’s nightlife district to protest the lack of glory holes at raves. They’re hoping to pressure promoters into getting “on the right side of history,” which means, as one raver says, “one where glory holes are plentiful and ubiquitous.”

Event organizers say they have nothing against letting ravers have a party all night with glory holes—but legally, they’re simply not allowed to. “Right now, it’s illegal to give blow jobs to strangers in venues that are open to the public,” says a promoter. The event organizers are encouraging the ravers to pack up their camps and take it to the man: “Culture is downstream from politics, and so if you want a random person to wrap their lips around your dick, you got to email your politicians and tell them that you won’t vote for them unless they’re pro glory hole.” But the ravers aren’t convinced, saying the only way they’ll leave is if the promoters give them a blowjob—without or without a glory hole.

Looking for a wild and crazy party. We can keep you up all night long here!

Check out more about ravers protesting over glory holes here: https://www.ravenews.ca/en/read/2016/january/12/

Sweden’s Giant Snow Dick Was Erased…So an Even Bigger One Was Erected

When community members started complaining about a giant dick in a Swedish park, the city ordered one of its workers to erase it. The dick, which was carved into the snow over a frozen moat, needed to be scraped off bit-by-bit (thus sparking hilarious Twitter responses like “Yeah, right there. That’s it.”). The worker felt such strong penis envy while erasing the giant dick that he knew he had to replace it. And he wasn’t the only one who had strong feelings of remorse over the removal: a Facebook group called “restore the snow penis” quickly achieved more than 3,300 likes!

So now in the erased snow dick’s place is an even bigger, even more spectacular massive snow dick (see images below)! The worker used a snowblower, and erected it on such a huge scale that it can only be seen from above. This means that no one on the ground can see it and become offended. “When an established artist paints a penis in oil paint, he can hang in a frame in a gallery. But if an ordinary citizen draws a penis in the snow, it’s the obscene and must be removed. I mean it’s just about who the creator is,” the hero, er, worker said.

Looking for something spectacular yourself? Everything is bigger and better with us!

Check out images of the giant snow dick here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sweden-snow-penis_us_56a1b0abe4b0d8cc10999534

‘Tattoo Fixers’ Shows How Many Men Get—and Regret—Dick Tattoos

A man from England thought it would be a good idea to get a cute tattoo of an elephant—on his dick! “He let his friend ink a crude tattoo of the large beast around his crotch with his penis serving as the trunk,” reported the Huffington Post. But immediately after it was finished, the man started regretting it (see images below).

“It’s just a mess,” he said on a recent episode of the British show “Tattoo Fixers.” “It looks like it’s been drawn on with a [pen].” Turns out, the man had a few too many drinks before letting his friend break out the tattoo gun. The poor “Elephant-Man” is sadly not the only man to get a dick tattoo he soon regretted. “A man recently made headlines by having vacuum cleaner etched on his willie, with his shaft serving as the hose,” said the Huffington Post. The lesson here, guys: maybe spend a little time imagining what your dick will look like tattooed before pulling the (tattoo gun) trigger.

Want to have a guilt-free, thrilling experience? You won’t soon regret any decisions you make with us!

Check out more about the guy who got an elephant tattoo on his cock here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/look-tattoo-of-elephant-on-guys-penis-makes-his-junk-the-trunk_us_569e66d8e4b04c8137617f28

Sex Worker of the Year Helps Man With Bionic Penis Lose His Virginity

Mohammed Abad is a virgin, not because of a lack of willingness or an inability to chat up women, but because he tragically lost his penis in a car accident at the age of six. Recently, at 37-years-old, and after 118 procedures, Abad once again has a dick—an 8-inch bionic one! So now, of course, the man cannot wait to try out, for the first time ever, his impressive new member.

Charlotte Rose, Britain’s Sex Worker of the Year 2013, eagerly volunteered her services for free. “Of all the people he could have done this with, he’s chosen me,” she told The Daily Beast. “It’s an absolute delight.” As an escort, and sexual trainer, Rose specializes in working with older clients and those with disabilities. Rose doesn’t make as much money as other high-end call girls, but she finds the work incredibly fulfilling. The experience with Abad will be her first with a bionic penis, and she couldn’t be more thrilled: “I’ve not seen it yet, but I’m really, really excited and really, really honored.”

Want to have a really, really exciting experience yourself? We can make you feel like it’s the first time here!

Check out more about the man with the bionic penis losing his virginity: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/01/12/my-night-with-the-world-s-first-bionic-penis.html

The Device That Will Help You Strengthen Your Dick

Hey guys, have you been doing your Kegels lately? Strengthening the pelvic floor by holding and releasing the muscles between your cock and your ass will help you to have better, stronger orgasms and increase your stamina during sex. And now there’s a device that will whip your dick into shape in an interactive and enjoyable way.

The kGoal Boost is shaped liked a pussy and almost as fun (wink wink!). You sit on it, and the vibrations flex and release “the muscles of the perineum in time with the button’s pulsing,” explains the Frisky. So basically, it’s like a personal trainer for your dick! You can use it in the car, at work, and even while vegging out, all while tracking your progress by connecting the device directly to your smartphone. “All of our guided workouts and games are five-minute chunks. If you’re doing a workout for five minutes a day, every day, you’re going to be in a real good spot,” says a rep of kGoal Boost. Who would’ve thought exercising could be so stimulating, literally?

In the mood to exercise certain special areas? We can help you increase your stamina and your pleasure right here!

Check out more about the device that will strengthen your dick here: https://www.thefrisky.com/2015-12-10/hey-guys-heres-a-device-to-help-you-strengthen-your-penis/

Man With World’s Largest Dick Goes Viral With New Song

Jonah Falcon, the man famous for having the world’s largest dick, is letting it all hang out in his new music video. The 42-year-old with a 9-inch cock (13.5 inches hard!) has already made several documentaries about his member—and has even given advice to well-endowed actor, John Hamm, about how to deal with the attention—and now he’s singing about it. “It’s Too Big” is all about what it’s like to live with a wine-bottle sized dick.

Since its release, the dancey pop song about “the biggest [dick] in history” quickly went viral. And Falcon seems to love the attention: in the video, he wears biker shorts to showcase his giant dick. In everyday life, he says he likes to show off his dick “wearing tight jean shorts, and it would go halfway down my pant leg.” He’s used to people asking him to see his stuff, and he’s usually comfortable just to “whip it out.” And his dick is definitely impressive: “When I’m fully, fully hard, I’m longer than my forearm and bigger than my wrist,” Falcon boasts. Wow, “it’s too big” is no exaggeration!

Looking to get some sexual attention yourself? Come show off your goods right here!

Check out more about the man with the world’s largest dick here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/05/06/it-s-too-big-meet-jonah-falcon-the-man-with-the-world-s-largest-penis.html