Tag: penis

5 Big-Dick Horror Stories

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_teenypenisAs members of the BuzzFeed community can attest, bigger isn’t always better. They were asked to share their craziest experiences with giant, thick dicks, and the results will make you squirm in sympathy. Here are their big-dick horror stories to scare the pants off you!

  1. Gag brigade
    “My friend was hooking up with a guy who was so big that, while she was blowing him, she literally threw up every drink she had that night on him. It also triggered a chain reaction, and they both spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.” Oof—no happy ending there!
  2. Jaw-droppingly big
    “I dislocated my jaw trying to give a blow job once.” This shows serious blow job dedication!
  3. Giant Pringles can
    This guy made a bet with his Tinder date that whoever had the biggest dick got to top. “I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can.” Needless to say, it took him “an extra long time to walk up the stairs the next day!”
  4. Tasty delight
    What happens when you get lockjaw in the middle of giving a blow job to your big, girthy boyfriend? “It got to the point where I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to get his dick out, so I had to pry my mouth open with my fingers. Whoops.”
  5. 12 inches!
    This lady got a whole lot more than she bargained for when her crush’s pants came off: “I asked him how big he was…12 inches. I was all in though! I gave him a few hours of mind-blowing sex. After it was over, I experienced my first walk of shame through my ENTIRE neighborhood and could literally barely walk. Totally worth it, though.”

Looking for some intense experiences yourself? We are always all in!

Check out more big-dick horror stories here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/throbbing-pringles-can

Nude Artist Paints With His Dick On France’s Got Talent

paintingHere’s another reason why Europe is the coolest: award winning performance artist Brent Ray Fraser recently appeared on France’s Got Talent to showcase his artistry. So what’s his special talent? Painting with his dick, of course!

The hot, oiled up painter immediately ripped off his pants to the delight of the shocked and tickled audience and began painting his masterpiece on stage. He eagerly dipped his instrument in paint and got to work, thrusting at the canvas with his special paintbrush. In the middle of working, he even took time to flex his big muscles for his thirsty fans. Then—Voilà—he finished his work of art in a matter of minutes: a perfectly rendered portrait of the judge!

Looking to show off your special talent? Come shock us with your artistry!

Check out the video of a nude artist painting with his dick on France’s Got Talent: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/12/05/nude-artist-paints-a-portrait-of-frances-got-talent-judge-with-his-penis/

Stephen Colbert Makes Controversial Oral Sex Joke

vladtrumpStephen Colbert is no stranger to making racy jokes that cross lines and push boundaries—especially political ones. But his latest oral sex joke aimed at Donald Trump is offending people on both sides of the aisle. LGBTQ advocates are upset that the joke inadvertently attacked gay sexuality, and Trump supporters are mad that the President was accused of sucking dick!

During his opening monologue, Colbert made a joke implying Trump performs oral sex on Russian President Vladimir Putin. “In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster,” Colbert quipped. The joke suggests Trump giving head to Putin is somehow demeaning, because the punchline involves gay sex between two men, which many are calling homophobic. And Trump supporters don’t like the President being attacked through a gay sex joke. The hashtag #FireColbert has since been making the rounds on Twitter by both liberals and conservatives, leading his fans to wish that it was his character from the Colbert Report who made the joke, instead of him.

Looking for something racy yourself? We’re no strangers to pushing boundaries here!

Check out more about Colbert’s homophobic oral sex joke: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/stephen-colbert-homophobic-joke/

Orlando Bloom’s Dick Wins 2016 

Image Source: Helen Penjam on Flickr
Image Source: Helen Penjam on Flickr

The recent uncensored pictures of Orlando Bloom’s dick have gone viral, provoking a firestorm of memes and witty gifs. The photos were taken, unbeknownst to Bloom, during a particularly sexy Italian vacation with Katy Perry. While the pictures are another example of how the paparazzi flagrantly violates celebrity’s personal lives, Orlando Bloom’s enthusiastic willingness to let it all hang out has served as an inspiration for millions in the new year.

As Daily Beast reports, one photo of him “shows a perky, springy thing that seems kind of half standing to attention, and half giving into the heat of his Italian sojourn with Katy Perry.” In others, Bloom and his cock take a walk on the beach, clamber over rocks, or paddleboard-serenade a very happy Perry in the sparkling sunshine. Of course, gifs have emerged “showing general happy amazement at the hotness of Bloom and loveliness of his cock.” Bloom and his dick have entered the public consciousness, urging all of us to be a little more free and exhibitionist in 2017.

Looking for some sexy fun yourself? Let’s make it hot hot hot in the new year!

Check out more about Orlando Bloom’s inspiring dick here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/06/thank-you-orlando-bloom-for-showing-us-that-a-dick-is-just-a-dick.html

Doctors Remove Wedding Ring From Man’s Dick 

As it turns out, DIYing a cock ring is a very bad idea, as a 28-year-old man in South Africa can attest. He found this out the hard way (pun intended) when he squeezed his wedding ring around his dick for “erotic reasons.” Not surprisingly, it didn’t turn out well.

ringonitAfter using his wedding ring as a substitute for a cock ring, the ring caused the man’s dick to swell up so much that he was unable to remove it. He was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with a rare case of “penile strangulation.” Since his malady was so rare, doctors weren’t exactly sure how to remove the ring, and said in the South African Medical Journal that “No proper guidelines exist for the treatment of this condition, so the ‘best method’ is the one with a successful outcome.” Thankfully, the ring was eventually removed—and the man was strongly urged not to DIY his sex toys again!

Looking for something erotic yourself? Come get inventive with us right here!

Check out more about doctors removing a wedding ring from a man’s dick: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wedding-ring-stuck-penis_us_582b5d4ae4b01d8a014ad720

You Can Still Have Good Sex With a Micropenis

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_smallpenisFor the 0.6 percent of the male population with a penis that’s less than 2.75 inches, their anatomy is often the cause of much emotional pain, anxiety, and depression. But sex therapist Elizabeth McGrath is giving these men hope by showing them and their partners how to get the most out of their sex life. For her clients with micropenises, she says the main thing to do is to shift the focus away from penetrative sex—because there’s so many other ways to find pleasure!

“There’s humping, there’s grinding, there’s rubbing the penis on the labia or on the side, and then it expands into ‘What kind of fun things can we do together?'” McGrath said. Oral sex can be the main event, and sex toys, rings, vibrators, and even “extenders” worn over the dick are all great options for couples. She emphasizes that trying new things and figuring out what gives people pleasure is the key. And for a person with a micropenis, or really anyone, it’s about finding what makes you feel good and, most importantly, having fun.

Looking to have some fun yourself? We can make you feel good right here!

Check out more about how you can still have good sex with a micropenis: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/micropenis-sex-guide/

There Are Only Five Dick Types In The World

http---distractify-media-prod.cdn.bingo-2001059-980xWhile it’s true that every dick has its own unique set of characteristics, it’s also true that when it comes to “types” of dicks, there isn’t much range. Still, the saying “When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all” isn’t totally accurate. Because there are five! Here are the five types of dicks that exist in the world:

  1. Short and stubby
    A woman with lots of dick experience (dick-perience) on Your Tango describes guys with short and stubby dicks as having big egos. Although “they’re often fun to toy with and can be fairly witty when they want to be,” these guys can be total dicks!
  2. The curved-to-the-north cock
    These guys tend to be optimistic and upbeat (like their dicks!). They’re also dog lovers!
  3. The curved-to-the-south dick
    The term “every man has his angle” comes to mind. To give you an idea of the type of guy with this cock shape: it’s a matter of public record that Bill Clinton has a curved dick…
  4. Frightened turtle dick
    “A guy has so much foreskin (generally uncut) that his penis barely shows its face, even when standing at full attention.” Turtles are adorable!
  5. The gourd
    Just like it sounds, a gourd shape is “narrow at the base and then wide at the top of the shaft, rounding out at the head.” Gourd’s are perfect for fall!

Looking to find your perfect type? We’ve got every shape and size you could ever want to “toy with” here!

Check out more about the five types of dicks that exist in the world here: https://www.yourtango.com/2016293898/there-are-only-five-penis-types-entire-world

Porn Star Kayden Kross Reveals Whether Dick Size Matters 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_teenypenisAward-winning adult film star Kayden Kross recently sat down with NYLON to answer the million dollar question: does dick size really matter? Kayden has starred in 144 X-rated films—and once quipped that “30 million eyeballs have interacted with my butthole”—so she seems uniquely qualified to answer this hotly debated question. Her answer? Yes and no.

Yes, it can make a difference when it comes to partner pairings. She says, “It matters to partners who find very large penises uncomfortable, or who are only looking for girth, or who feel that their cervixes are under constant attack, or who feel that nothing has been penetrated until their cervix has.” But besides finding a good dick match, no, dick size really doesn’t matter that much. In fact, she explains that since women’s nerve endings are mostly on the outside (the clit) and not as much inside the vaginal canal, “you could make her come with just the smallest tip of your finger and absolutely no penetration whatsoever.” You hear that, men? Learn how to make a woman cum with just the tip of your finger and you have nothing to worry about!

Looking for some sexy sex ed yourself? We’d love for you to practice your moves on us!

Here’s more from porn star Kayden Kross about whether dick size matters: https://www.unilad.co.uk/nsfw/porn-star-reveals-whether-penis-size-ever-matters/

8 Innocent Photos That Are Actually Totally Filthy 

Sometimes when you see seemingly “innocent” looking things, you wonder if they’re actually innocent or if it’s just your dirty mind. You know, like with that supposedly PG-13 bumper sticker that reads “BJ Mom.” Well, we’ve got good news for you: while you may have a dirty mind, those so-called innocent things are actually totally filthy. Here are 8 photos that prove it (check them out below).

  • Shadow Dicks
    In this picture, the shadows from the bridge appear to be in the shape of a dick. Architecture is so cool!
Image Source: CanYouActually.com
Image Source: CanYouActually.com
  • Vagina rock
    Yeah, we’d be willing to bet everybody has seen at least one pussy in a rock formation. Mother nature, represent!
Image Source: CcanYouActually.com
Image Source: CcanYouActually.com
  • Elmo Experiments
    We know what this seemingly innocent children’s book is really about…
Image Source: Radass
Image Source: Radass
  • “Insert fingers and tear along perforations”
    We’ve all seen this on a box—and we’ve all thought the same dirty thing!
Image Source: Men's Den
Image Source: Men’s Den
  • P_ _ I S
    Oh, Wheel of Fortune. We definitely do know the answer to “Where To Find Love.”
Image Source: Men's Den
Image Source: Men’s Den
  • In the Pink: Latex Gloves
    Found right in your local grocery store…filthy!
Image Source: Radass
Image Source: Radass
  1. “BJ Mom”
    MILF and proud!
Image Source: Distractify
Image Source: Distractify
  • “It’s amazing what you can do with two fingers and a thumb.”
    It certainly is.
Image Source: Distractify
Image Source: Distractify

Want to put that dirty mind to good use? There’s nothing ambiguous about the filthy stuff you’ll find here!

Check out more innocent photos that are actually filthy here: https://distractify.com/humor/2016/08/20/35-innocent-photos-somehow-completely-filthy

The Best Male Celebrity Nude Pics In the Past Year 

Image Source: The Gaily Grind
Image Source: The Gaily Grind

Male celebrities did not disappoint with hot ass and dick pics in the past year. Whether they were leaked or shared willingly, these NSFW moments had us all wagging our tongues and begging for more. Here are the best recent male celebrity nude pics.

  1. Lenny Kravitz Splits His Pants On Stage Exposing His Dick To Swedish Fans
    Who can forget when the mythically hot Lenny Kravitz bared more than just his fly soul to fans? Best wardrobe malfunction ever?
  2. John Legend’s Ass On Instagram
    A big thank you to John Legend’s wife, Chrissy Teigen, who was kind enough to share her husband’s ass with the entire internet.
  3. UK Footballer Outed As Dude Who’s Been Posting Tumblr Photos Of His Third Leg 
    Imagine fans’ surprise when bigwhitecock20, a man who’d been anonymously posting nude photos of his giant cock, turned out to be a 19-year-old UK footballer!
  4. Justin Bieber’s Dick Is On The Internet After A Naked Swim In Bora Bora 
    “While on vacation in Bora Bora, Justin Bieber decided to go for a naked swim, and as luck would have it, a paparazzo took photos of his birthday suit,” reports Gaily Grind.
  5. Former Boy Band Member Ashley Parker Angel Shows Us His Ass 
    Actor and former O-Town member, Ashley Parker Angel, celebrated the completion of his 100 Days of Fitness challenge with a sexy naked photo on Instagram. Great way to celebrate!
  6. WWE Wrestler Seth Rollins’ Nude Selfies Leaked Online After Phone Hacking 
    Naked pictures of WWE wrestlers Seth Rollins and WWE model Zahra Schreiber surfaced on several social media accounts after a phone hack.
  7. Olympian Gus Kenworthy’s Naked Instagram Pics
    American Olympic freeskier Gus Kenworthy won silver in the Winter Olympics last year, but his biggest victory was when he bravely came out. Another great bonus: his smokin’ hot Instagram feed, which shows off his incredible bubble butt!

Looking for some smokin’ hot action? We are always down to show off our sexy bods!

Check out more of the best male celebrity nude pics here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/12/23/here-are-the-top-16-times-your-favorite-celebs-and-athletes-got-naked-in-2015/