You Can Now Put Your Dick In a Mouth-Pussy-Anus Robot

3fap_gif2Brian Sloan, creator of the blow-job simulating sex toy the Autoblow 2, is at it again with his newest invention: the 3Fap, “a three-in-one male masturbator” that offers a mouth, a pussy, and an anus for you to stick your dick into. The 3Fap uses 3-D scanned body parts from the winners of a “Vaginal Beauty Contest,” so you can fuck realistically rendered “genital beauty queens.”

And if getting your pick of three different orifices isn’t enough, you can also control your level of suction within each one. So far, Sloan is crowdfunding the 3Fap and has raised only a couple hundred of his $40,000 goal. But he assures you, with the 3Fap you can experience three different textures every time you “Fap”: the butt is “tight and smooth,” the pussy is “ribbed,” and the mouth is “a zig-zag pattern.” In short, this guy wants to make “Fapping fun again”—whatever that means.

In the mood for some realistic, fun experiences yourself? You don’t need an elaborate sex toy for that—we’ve got the real thing right here!

Here’s more about the three-in-one male sex toy.

NEWS: This is total HOGWASH!

Bacon is instrumental in Sunday Brunch, it’s the main character in the BLT, and it’s a supportive role in a loaded baked potato. I think all pork lovers will agree that it’s a delectable treat and can go with plenty of dishes, however I’m not sure how the masses will feel about bacon flavored mouthwash? I was flabbergasted when I read that Proctor & Gamble have added Bacon Scope to their mouthwash product line. You might have to see it to believe it

At first I was sure this was a spoof or perhaps an early April fool’s but it’s looking like it’s the real deal. I checked out Scope’s website and here is a portion of their FAQ section:

Does Scope Bacon make my breath smell like bacon? No. Scope Bacon just tastes like bacon while you swish, but leaves your breath smelling minty fresh 5 times longer than brushing alone.

Is Scope Bacon a sufficient replacement for my breakfast?
 No. Scope Bacon contains zero nutritional value and does not serve as an acceptable substitute for food.

Should I use Scope Bacon before or after breakfast?
 We recommend using Scope Bacon after breakfast.

I will admit that I enjoy a tasty bacon burp but I’m not sure how I feel about liquid bacon…I guess it’s worth a try! A Yummy bacon kiss, now that is a new way to pork someone!