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8 Songs That People Were Shocked To Realize Are Actually Very Dirty

Everyone’s had that moment where they realize the song they thought was innocent is actually very, very naughty. Whether it’s a pop song that gets played to death on the radio, or a song you’ve finally listened to the lyrics, we’ve all been guilty of suddenly understanding what “I’m not that innocent” really means. Here are the songs people were shocked to learn are actually X-rated.

“3” by Britney Spears – “Merrier the more, triple fun that way, Twister on the floor, what do you say?”
Yup, this “fun” song is pretty much about a girl begging her boyfriend for a threesome.
“Macarena” by Los Del Rio – “Now come on, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his friends were so fine.”
The girl in the song had a threesome with her boyfriend’s two friends—but as children, we all danced to it.
“London Bridge” by Fergie – “How come every time you come around, my London, London Bridge wanna go down.”
It turns out “London Bridge” is a sex position!
“Rock the Boat” by Aaliyah – “Boy you gotta stroke before drifting me deeper.”
Dirty!
“No Diggity” by Blackstreet – “I like the way you work it, No diggity, I got to bag it up.”
Yes, they are talking about putting on a condom!
“Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera – “I’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.” But we all thought she was a squeaky clean teen!
“Digital Get Down” by N’SYNC – As a surprised fan said, “I was in my early 20s when I realized it was about cybersex. I just thought it was saying maybe sexy things through voicemail and phone calls.”
“California Girls” by Katy Perry – “Sun-kissed skin, so hot we’ll melt your popsicle.”
Hot hot hot!

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Check out more seemingly innocent songs that are actually very naughty: https://www.buzzfeed.com/hanifahrahman/18-songs-that-people-didnt-realise-are-actually-pretty-dirty

10 Hilarious Tweets About Sex After Kids

If you’re a parent, you know the often hilarious truth about sex after kids. As one tweet accurately puts it, “Your sex life as a parent basically becomes ‘Fifty Shades of Pray Those Kids Stay Asleep.’” Here are the funniest tweets from parents about post-kids sex.

“If your sexytime music is cartoons playing loudly outside your locked door, you might be a parent.”
Mood music!
“Husband and I wrestled behind closed doors this morning. My daughter busted in and pounced on his back.
No one won the wrestling match. No one.”
Time for a rematch?
“Me: Do that thing I like
Husband: [takes the kids and leaves]”
Sexy!
“[Married pillow-talk]
Husband: What’s your deepest fantasy?
Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don’t leave any crumbs under the table.”
Dirty talk indeed!
“Being married with children is like being a teenager again. You can only have sex if you sneak around and don’t get caught.”
That can be hot!
“Be sure to keep the spark alive by texting him sexy little nothings like,
‘We need to check the kids for lice’ and ‘please buy tampons.'”
A truly generous lover!
“Having sex when you’re a parent is like trying to shoot from half court with 3 seconds left on the clock.”
Score!
“Before kids: shower sex
After kids: shower decontamination.”
Dangerous when wet!
“Him: What are you wearing?
Me: Medical-grade hospital socks with anti-slip technology.”
There is probably a fetish for that…
“The best thing about sex after kids is probably no matter where in your house or car you do it, you end up with legos, Barbie shoes, or Shopkins lodged in your body.”
Professional hazards.

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Check out more funny tweets about sex after kids: https://www.buzzfeed.com/asiawmclain/funny-sex-after-kids-tweets

These Cheese Descriptions Are Super Horny

From descriptions like “voluptuously creamy” to “super thrusts,” some take the concept of “cheese lover” a little too literally. These cheesemongers’ sensual, arousing words sound just like they were selling sex. Here are 8 examples of how cheese is truly the best food porn.

“It’s full of rich, voluptuously creamy textures punctuated with a little spicy lift from the blue veining. It develops a melt-in-the-mouth creaminess.”
Mmm, creamy and veiny!
“Pierce the grooved, burnt sienna rind to start the glossy, liquid gold running. Its pungent meatiness will stick with you, both on your palate and in your memory.”
Liquid gold running, indeed!
“Known as the cheddar of Spain, Mahon will serenade your palate like a Spanish conquistador of flavor with a guitar made of desire.”
¡Que sexy!
“Like an Italian bodybuilder, this cheese sweats oil and has the physique to match; tight yet supple, balanced, and rugged on the outside.”
We’re drooling.
“a savory warrior delivering sharp thrusts of sea salt, umami, and seasoned meat to the palate with a lingering zest at the finish. Its firm, granular paste maintains a glossy mouthfeel as a result of the incredible richness and abundance of butterfat content in the sheep’s milk it is produced from.”
This cheese likes it hard and deep!
“Eyes rolling to the ceiling good.”
And toes curling, too!
“wild and untamed, with a luscious, oozing texture, this cheese practically gets down on its knees and begs to be paired with a luscious, ruddy farmhouse saison.”
Hot.
“ever-so-delicately drilled and filled with rich truffle paste. The result is a visually stunning cheese that manages to taste even better than she looks.”
Tongues wagging…

Looking for a mouth-watering sexual experience? We stick on your palate and memory here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about super horny descriptions of cheese: https://mashable.com/article/horny-sexual-sensual-cheese-profiles-descriptions/