Tag: jerking off

Citizens Push Over a Port-a-Potty With Chronic Masturbator Inside

A chronic port-a-potty masturbator in Portland, Oregon learned the shitty way the importance of closing the door when jerking off in public. Officials say the 48-year-old homeless man would chronically pleasure himself each day in the same portable toilet, in full view of his fellow homeless people. But today, the homeless heroes “decided to form a vigilante justice league and tip the toilet over, leaving the semi-public masturbator covered in shit and pee,” reports Willamette Week.

“(He) was flashing us over and over again, and we asked him multiple times and told him to stop and he wouldn’t,” a homeless woman told a local Portland news station. The masturbator needed to be rescued by police when the port-a-potty fell door-side down. “Physically, he’s fine but he had a crappy day,” said police spokesperson Willie Halliburton. He wasn’t arrested, since being trapped in a turned over port-a-potty is sufficient enough punishment. And we can probably assume the man will close the door next time!

Looking for some private time to unwind? Just make sure you close the door and leave the rest to us!

Check out more about citizens pushing over a port-a-potty with a chronic masturbator inside here:https://www.wweek.com/portland/blog-33298-citizen-heroes-push-over-port-a-potty-with-chronic-masturbator-inside.html

The More You Masturbate, The Less Chance You’ll Have of Dying Prematurely

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_blowjobsWe have good news for the guys who enjoy regular self-love. According to a study published in the European Urology, guys who masturbate more often significantly reduce their chances of dying prematurely. The study followed 30,000 men over the course of 20 years, and found that men who regularly jerk off were generally healthier and had lower chances of being diagnosed with prostate cancer.

The study found that those who masturbate more when their young fare better later on in life. “Men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month in their 20s were 19% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than men who ejaculated about seven times a month,” reports Gaystarnews. The study also discovered that men in their 40s who choke the chicken on a regular basis are 22% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Jennifer Rider, the leader of the study said: “Ejaculation frequency is, to some extent, a measure of overall health status in that men at the very low end of ejaculation – 0 to 3 times per month – were more likely to have other (medical problems) and die prematurely from causes other than prostate cancer.” So, guys, better get wanking!

Want to do right by your health? We can help you reap all the (fun) benefits here!

Check out more about how masturbating more decreases your chances of dying prematurely: https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/masturbate-prevent-chances-dying-prematurely/#gs.IlY1oTs

Naked Guy in a Box Masturbates For Art

Screen Shot from YouTube: Almar AtlasonA 23-year-old art student had a truly touching idea for a class project at the Iceland Academy of the Arts. His plan was to live-stream himself for an entire week in a glass box—completely butt-ass naked! But at day six, his project got a little too, um, personal for Youtube.

The video site abruptly interrupted his live-stream when he became aroused and started pleasuring himself. His wife defended him by insisting her husband’s stream was not stopped because he’d violated the company’s terms of policy (i.e, jerking off) but instead because there must have been some sort of a coincidental tech glitch—at the exact moment when he was caught masturbating. Unfortunately for Youtube, the masturbation video was posted to its site, until it was eventually flagged and taken down. We guess #nakinníkassa, Iceleandic for “naked in a box,” maybe wasn’t a mastur-piece after all!

Looking to indulge your artsy side? We’ve got plenty to inspire and excite you here!

Check out more about the naked art student masturbating in a glass box here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/naked-guy-in-a-box-masturbates-live-breaks-the-internet-nsfw_566194f2e4b08e945feefd98

The New Device That Lets You Save Energy By Jerking Off

wankband-hed-2015
Image provided via PornHub

Pornhub is giving Fitbit a run for their money with the Wankband, a new wearable that lets you charge gadgets by jerking off. Pornhub acknowledges in their promotional video (watch below) that watching porn on the internet contributes to the growing problem of energy consumption that can pollute as it creates, which is why they’re going to “show men how they can save the planet by doing what they do best.” The Wankband is a wearable for the tech era that “allows men to love the planet by loving themselves.”

The device gains power from motion via a small inner valve in the band that generates and stores energy when you move your hand up and down with each loving stroke. You can plug any chargeable device into the USB port on the band—tablet, phone, laptop—to create “dirty energy.” The device is unisex, so it’ll work for men and women who want to turn their special alone time into productive, save-the-planet time. As Pornhub says, “the power is in your hand!”

Want to have a sexy do-gooder moment yourself? Here at Niteflirt, we “do-good” all day every day!

Check out Pornhub’s video for the Wankband here!

How Many of These Euphemisms For Jerking Off Have You Heard?

5129712590_98642c5ebf_zChoking the chicken; spanking the monkey; stroking the python—you’ve probably heard these common and well-loved euphemisms for jerking off many many times. But how many others do you know? BuzzFeed recently put that question to the test with one of their signature (and hilarious) quizzes. Here are 15 highlights of some familiar, some just bizarre euphemisms for male self-love (check out the full quiz below):

  1. Five Finger Shuffle
  2. Making the Bald Man Cry
  3. Shaking Hands With Dr. Winky
  4. Beating Your Meat
  5. Battling the Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger
  6. Riding the Mayonnaise Surf
  7. Tugging the Slug
  8. Waxing Your Carrot
  9. Auditioning Your Hand Puppet
  10. Burping the Worm
  11. Badgering the Witness
  12. Beef Stokenoff
  13. Jerkin’ the Gherkin
  14. Strangling the Cyclops
  15. Practicing Politics—(we saved the most baffling for last)

Wow. There sure are a lot of creative euphemisms for Buffing the Vampire Slayer. Feel like taking a break from Shuffling Your Ipod? We can help you to Make Pearl Jam right here!

Check out the BuzzFeed quiz here!