Grindr is supposed to be a magical erotic wonderland where gay men can cruise hot guys looking for action in the flick of a finger. But sometimes, as these hilarious tweets show, it’s an awkward place where just trying to get a nut proves more unpleasant than it’s worth. Check out some favorites.
- When a guy is looking for compassion for a dead pet instead of getting laid“I’m having a funeral for my fish.”“I have a really huge dick bron [sic] I love showing it off.”
Tweet: “Grindr in a nutshell.”
- When gay sex just gets too complicatedTweet: “Someone on Grindr is listed as ‘Mega Bottom’ – I wonder if that comes before or after Power Bottom in the evolutionary series.”
- When even sacred, religious festivals are used as pick-up linesTweet: “Someone on Grindr asked me if I wanted to put the D in their Diwali.”
- When straight guys feel like sexually exploring“Can I jerk u off into orgasm? Can u jerk off and orgasm on my face? I’m straight but kinda wanna try it. Can I taste your nut?”Tweet: “I hate Grindr.”
- When it gets a little too close (and stalker-y) to homeTweet: “Grindr is all fun and games until someone with no picture messages u saying ‘I’ve seen you on [street name] so many times.'”
- When work gets awkwardTweet: “That awkward moment you see your manager on Grindr & his profile says ‘kinky only.'”
- And things get “hot for teacher”…in a bad wayTweet: “My teacher just messaged me on Grindr. I’m crying.”
- When dude’s get right to the point“Door open, dark, I’m face down, ass lubed, just come in, fuck me, unload.”“Is that the standard greeting now?”
Tweet: “I must’ve missed the memo…”
Feel like getting right down to business yourself? We’ve got all of the fun, and none of the awkwardness right here!
Check out more hilarious tweets that prove Grindr was at its worst in 2015!
Oh, Twitter. Just when we think the tweets can’t get any funnier, along comes the hashtag #ThingsISayAfterSex. Try not to cry—whether from laughter or truth—after reading these.
