Tag: Funny

12 American Food Names That Sound Like Sex Positions

You’re not the only one with a dirty mind at the grocery store. A Reddit user recently asked kinksters of the internet to share some popular food names that sound exactly like sex positions. Here are some of the wildest responses:

  1. “Boston cream pie.”
    Well, yeah. 
  2. “Memphis dry rub.”
    Who’s up for a trip to Tennessee?
  3. “Sloppy Joe.”
    Getting dirty!
  4. “Banana split.”
    Sounds acrobatic. 
  5. “Mississippi mud pie.”
    Sloshing!
  6. “Kumquat.”
    Well, it does sound like…
  7. “Hot Pocket.”
    We’re down to try!
  8. “Cincinnati three-way.”
    That could definitely get confusing…
  9. “Nut butter.”
    Sounds more like lube.
  10. “In-N-Out.”
    We think this was named intentionally…
  11. “Pulled pork.”
    Our mouths are watering.
  12. “Stuffed cabbage.”
    Naughty and delicious!

In the mood for a tasty treat? NiteFlirt is what you’ve been craving!

Check out more food names that sound like sex positions: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/foods-sound-like-sex

Women Share The Sex Moves They Wish Men Didn’t Copy From Porn

Not everything you see in porn should be reproduced in real life. Women everywhere can attest. Here are 9 things they wish men would stop copying from porn.

  1. “Thinking that we orgasm from two minutes of penetration alone.”
    Life ain’t like the movies, folks!
  2. “If there’s anything we should agree on, it’s the lack of moaning. I really don’t get how men can be so silent, but when they aren’t, it’s the BIGGEST turn on.”
    Yes!
  3. “I really don’t understand the appeal of dick slapping. Help me understand.”
    To each (dick) their own?
  4. “What kind of porn are they watching that makes them think fingering is so aggressive? Take it easy!”
    Less is more.
  5. “Going faster when you tell them something feels good/you’re gonna cum. Pro tip: Don’t change a goddamn thing. Keep up the same pace.”
    Preach!
  6. “Asking what’s the biggest dick I’ve ever had. Why do you care? This ain’t a dick-measuring contest.”
    So true.
  7. “Spitting on genitals. Just DON’T. Or at least don’t without asking.”
    This should be a PSA…
  8. “Pulling my hair like the friggin’ reins on an irritable horse kills the mood for me. When you yank my head back like you’re about to waterboard me, I won’t enjoy anything after and you’ll owe me a chiropractor for a month.”
    Watch the neck, guys!
  9. “Calling someone a ‘whore’ or a ‘bitch’ without checking if they’re into it.”
    Just rude. 

In the mood for some XXX? You won’t have any complaints about what we do here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about what women don’t want men to copy from porn: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/sex-moves-men-copy-porn

8 Hilarious And Bawdy Tweets About Sex

Having a rough week? We have something to cheer you up—and it’s almost as good as sex. Here are 8 hilarious tweets about sex:

  1. “My favorite sex position is when someone makes a playlist for me.”
    I put my thang down flip it and reverse it!
  2. “When vegans have sex they ask to be artichoked.”
    Delicious BDSM!
  3. “pee after sex or you will get a tgi friday’s”
    And not the kind with a salad bar…
  4. “pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.”
    Good to know!
  5. “british people be having sex like: mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving.”
    Cheeky!
  6. “men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape.. you mean a tik tok bro?”
    Burn!
  7. “During lovemaking you ask your gf to put her finger in your butt. She does & when she pulls it out there’s an engagement ring on it.”
    True romance!
  8. “I dead ass ate pineapples for a month and this boy told me my pussy tasted like cheetos sooo y’all lying out here.”
    Who doesn’t like Cheetos?

Know what’s as good as sex? NiteFlirt!

Check out more funny tweets about sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanschocket2/sex-tweets-2021

8 Ridiculous Things Men Said After Sex

Sometimes during sex, you just say things—but how about afterward? It turns out the moments following casual sex can be pretty ridiculous. A TikTok user asked people to share “the worst thing a man said to you immediately after sex,” and it’s now trending. 

  1. A guy said to get dressed and call her own Uber because he had another girl coming to hook up in the next 10 minutes.
    Oof!
  2. A woman lost her virginity to a guy who said (immediately after they finished), “Are you sure you didn’t want to wait for someone who cared about you?”
    Tell her how you really feel…
  3. A woman asked a guy if he could make her orgasm after he finished, and he started laughing and said, “I’m not a prostitute.”
    Bless his heart?
  4. This guy went into the next room where his friends were sitting, imitated looking around for something, then said, “Oh shit, I think I lost my virginity in there.”
    Come on, guy!
  5. A guy hooked up with a man who hurried him out of the house after they finished because his wife was coming home.
    Seriously?
  6. The guy got off of a girl after lasting 35 seconds, then said, “Well, that’s all folks.”
    What a (Porky) pig!
  7. A guy fist-bumped her “coochie” after she lost her virginity to him.
    Way to go?
  8. A guy said to a girl, “Is it bad that I want you to leave?”
    Yes!

Looking for a memorable sexual experience? We have a little more decorum here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more ridiculous things men said after sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/things-people-said-after-sex

Pornhub Just Dropped A Newly Redesigned Line Of Sex Toys

Pornhub is launching a new and fully redesigned line of sex toys, and promoting the line with its “Not My Job” campaign. The porn megasite made a video to promote the sex toys where household objects—an electric toothbrush, socks, a shower head—sing about how they’re not meant to be sex toys. At the end of the video, which parodies the song “The Bad Touch,” the poor cucumbers and bike seat are “saved” by Pornhub’s new sex toy line.

Customers can try to guess one of 250 “household objects you shouldn’t use for sex” on the campaign site for the chance to get a 30 percent discount. Pornhub added new toys to their line, including their version of the Hitachi wand, an anal training kit, and an adjustable cock ring. The new toys are USB rechargeable and waterproof, with “powerful yet quiet” motors.

In the mood for an electrifying experience? It Is Our Job to satisfy here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Pornhub’s new line of sex toys: https://mashable.com/article/pornhub-toys-not-my-job-campaign/

Pornhub Parody “Scrubhub” Features Videos About Washing Dirty Hands

Image Credit: Mashable

Pornhub has a new parody site featuring filthy content—literally. Scrubhub is a collection of satirical handwashing videos featuring both everyday people and Pornhub models like Asa Akira, Danika Mori, and June Liu. The site’s purpose is to emphasize the importance of hand-washing with lightness and humor. 

“Cleanest Porn Ever” is a campaign driven by Pornhub’s Model Program community featuring instructional videos from performers all around the world. The Vice President of Pornhub said in a press release: “We thought this presented a unique opportunity for Pornhub to bring some joy to something that has become so mundane and repetitive.” Musicians, comedians and the like will also be featured washing their dirty hands twice daily on the site.

In the mood to get dirty? Let NiteFlirt bring joy into your (sex) life!

Check out more about Pornhub’s parody site, Scrubhub: https://mashable.com/article/pornhub-scrubhub-hand-washing-parody/

7 Funny Tweets About Having A Pussy

People on Twitter have been looking inward (no pun intended!) since the lockdown began—and yes we’re talking about pussies! Whether the ladies need to bemoan quarantine-celibacy or not being able to get a wax, these tweets capture what life is like for pussies right now. Here are the best 7 tweets about having a pussy:

  1. “who called it vagina and not penis flytrap”
    Pussy dad joke?
  2. “*coughs*
    *dust shoots out of vagina*”
    Not sure there’s a mask for that…
  3. “Before lockdown, I had laser hair removal on my lady parts. They only did the top half and I didn’t get to go back for the bottom half. Now my vag is bare up top, and a bush down below. My vagina has a mullet.”
    Could be a new hair trend!
  4. “My 4-yr old just fell off her bike and said, ‘I fell and it hurt my vagina, but I got right back up.’ New motto to live by, ladies.”
    Right on!
  5. “I haven’t seen my vagina in a month. My bf says she’s doing good but what the hell do he know.”
    It’s all about trust in a relationship…
  6. “I once accidentally sent a photo of my vagina to my son’s guidance counselor and she emailed me saying she had received a ‘very disturbing image’ from me and I’m still waiting for an apology.”
    Fair enough!
  7. “I haven’t been touched in so long my vagina is now purely decorative.”
    We can help with that!

Do you love pussy? Come show your appreciation right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more funny tweets about having a pussy: https://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/funny-vagina-tweets-2

9 Of The Wildest Stories From ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’

Sex Sent Me To The ER was a show on TLC that used actors to reenact real-life sex mishaps. The stories were both scary and hilarious—and definitely served as good cautionary tales. Here are some of the wildest stories:

  1. Woman had severe vaginal pains after her husband used exploding candy rocks to perform oral sex.
    When food in the bedroom goes wrong….
  2. Woman got third degree burns because her partner poured a melted gummy bear on her chest.
    This is not sticky/sweet!
  3. Guy got his penis stuck in the door knob hole while trying to having kinky sex with his girlfriend.
    Kinky in a bad way…
  4. Couple got electrocuted while having sex on a mechanical bull.
    The woman said, “and then boom! I’m getting electrocuted via my vagina.”
  5. Couple had sex on the bus during a Zombie Run and when a “zombie” spooked them, this woman jumped, and accidentally broke her nose.
    Run for your (sex) life!
  6. Guy got third degree burns on his foot because he was hooking up by an open fire.
    Hot?
  7. Man had a legless lizard slither into his urethra because he was butt naked outside in an attempt to find his “sexual spirit.”
    Maybe he was really looking for his spirit animal?
  8. Guy slipped and hit his head on a meat hook while trying to have sex with his wife in a meat freezer.
    What men will do for a piece of tail…
  9. Couple got sick from C. coli, a bacteria found in pigs, after having sex in the mud.
    Dirty, literally!

Want to get sexually adventurous? You don’t have to roll around in the mud to get dirty, just c’mon over to NiteFlirt and we’ll help!

Check out more about the best sex mishaps from ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ajanibazile/sex-sent-me-to-the-er

James Blunt’s X-rated Twitter Posts

britishunderwearUK mega-star James Blunt is all about bawdy humor on his widely-followed social media accounts. The naughty musician took things up a notch when he shared details about his sex life on Twitter in response to a fan’s question. When the fan asked the musician about how he seduces women with his music, Blunt responded: “Wet.”

The tweet garnered over 82,000 likes and 11,000 shares. A couple of days before, another social media user had asked Blunt: “How do you get a girl with your music?” Cheeky James wrote back: “You get one free with every album purchase. (Terms and Conditions apply.)”

Looking for something X-rated? Come find out the naughty ways we seduce fans here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about James Blunt’s X-rated Twitter posts: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6950331/James-Blunt-makes-X-rated-joke-sex-life-Twitter.html

Tumblr’s Anti-Porn Algorithm Is Flagging Basically Everything As Porn

nsfw-blogtumblr’s famously unpopular decision to ban all adult content on its site has proven to be a disastrous failure. So far, tumblr seems to be flagging everything it deems to be explicit material—but it’s algorithm seems to be busted. Hundreds of users have reported having totally innocuous posts flagged on their accounts—everything from abstract art to an image of a vase.

One user was flagged for a gallery of dinosaur pics, while artist Erika Moen (the creator of Oh Joy Sex Toy) has had her fully-clothed selfies flagged as explicit, while her photos of dildos went unnoticed. A lot of people have also noticed that non-explicit LGBTQ content is being flagged, simply because it contains words like “lesbian” or “transgender.” As one poster said, “Curious to see if tumblr will walk this back or just collapse.”

Looking for some explicit material? We’re all about naughty NSFW content here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about tumblr’s busted anti-porn algorithm: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/tumblr-nsfw-algorithm-flagging-2018/