Tag: Fiction

‘Bad Sex In Fiction’ Award Canceled For 2020

The judges of the annual Bad Sex in Fiction award decided to spare readers this year from the usual cringeworthy passages. It seems fictional bad sex is just too much for folks to handle in the hellish coronavirus pandemic-stricken year of 2020. The judges of the annual prize “felt that the public had been subjected to too many bad things this year to justify exposing it to bad sex as well,” the magazine said.

“With lockdown regulations giving rise to all manner of novel sexual practices, the judges anticipate a rash of entries next year. Authors are reminded that cybersex and other forms of home entertainment fall within the purview of this award,” a spokesperson for the judges said in a statement. “Scenes set in fields, parks or back yards, or indoors with the windows open and fewer than six people present will not be exempt from scrutiny either,” the spokesperson added. Since 1993, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award has honored the year’s “most outstandingly awful scene of sexual description in an otherwise good novel”—past winners include Tom Wolfe and Morrissey.

Looking for good sex? Come be a winner here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Bad Sex in Fiction award getting canceled for 2020: https://nypost.com/2020/12/08/no-bad-sex-in-fiction-award-in-2020/

Bad Sex Award 2017 Shortlist

cup-1010916_1920It’s that time again—the Bad Sex in Fiction Award! This is the prize that goes to the most cringe-worthy sex writing in literature. From avalanches to a frosty encounter on the beach, get ready for the Bad Sex 2017 shortlist.

1. The Destroyers by Christopher Bollen
“On the stone porch, in the hot, mountain air, we grapple with our clothing, which, in the darkness, becomes as complicated as mountaineering gear. Her black shirt around her neck, mine unbuttoned, our shorts and underwear slid to our ankles, we seem to be moving at avalanche speed and also, unfortunately, with avalanche precision.” Yes, sex is exactly like…an avalanche?

2. Mother of Darkness by Venetia Welby
“Light filters in from the ravaging streaks of the dawn. It splits into fragments of every hue the world has hidden as it strikes the prism of their shelter. Tera’s eyes expand and reflect, crystal orbs of time and space. She moans in colours as he pushes the white dress away and beyond the angelic flesh, luminescent against the damp, mossy bed.” Wow—other-worlderly. In a bad way.

3. The Future Won’t Be Long by Jarett Kobek
“We made love and we had sex and we had sex and we made love. But reader, again, I implore. Mistake me not. I am not your Pollyanna, I am not your sweet princess. We fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked.” Just. Wow.

4. War Cry by Wilbur Smith (with David Churchill)
“‘I’m going to have you now,’ Leon said. He led her back up the beach to where the sand was dry. Then he took off his coat, placed it on the ground and she lay down upon it. ‘Christ!’ he muttered, placing himself on top of her. ‘It’s bloody cold. I might get frostbite on my cock.’” She gave a low purring laugh. ‘Silly man. Why don’t you put it somewhere hot?’” Definitely not hot.

Looking for a naughty tryst? We can make you moan in colors right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more of the Bad Sex Award shortlist: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/nov/23/bad-sex-award-2017-shortlist-the-contenders-in-quotes

Italian Novelist Wins ‘Bad Sex In Fiction Award’ For Most Cringeworthy Scene Ever 

cosmic_banditaThe winner of the Bad Sex In Fiction Award has been named—and it is especially cringeworthy. Hosted by the Literary Review, the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award is presented to the writer of an otherwise acclaimed work for “the most egregious passage of sexual description in a work of fiction.” Earlier in the month, the shortlist was announced and the well-known writers included Gayle Forman, Ethan Canin, Robert Seethaler, Tom Connolly, Janet Ellis, and Erri De Luca. Jonathan Safran Foer received an honorable mention for a masturbation scene that compared cumming to a climber determined to summit Mt. Everest.

The winner, esteemed Italian writer and winner of such prestigious awards as 2013 European Prize for Literature, Erri De Luca, beat out his competitors with the dreadful sex writing in his novel, The Day Before Happiness. The writing includes descriptions of the couple’s genitals as ‘ballet dancers hovering en pointe.’ It also includes such gems as ‘My body was her gearstick’ and ‘My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach.’ Wow. That is some truly awful sex writing, signore.

Looking for some good eroticism that won’t make you cringe? Come steer your gearshift our way, tiny dancer!

Check out more about the winner of the 2016 Bad Sex In Fiction Award here: https://www.bustle.com/articles/197909-this-italian-novelist-just-won-the-bad-sex-in-fiction-award-for-writing-the-most-cringeworthy

6 Confessions From Erotica Writers

readingSure, you’ve read their stories of hot, naughty adventures to add a little spice to your life, but have you ever wondered what it would be like to actually write the erotica so many others get off to? As you can imagine, writing erotica is pretty thrilling work. Here are 6 confessions of erotica writers.

  1. “I love writing erotic stories…I just hope one day I can find a woman willing to use some of those idea…”
    Cheer up, there’s plenty of women who would be into whatever crazy, kinky thing you dream up—we’re proof!
  2. “I write erotica and sometimes I get so turned on that I have to stop and regroup before I can finish.”
    Re-grouping, eh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
  3. “I write erotic fiction to quench my sexual frustration.”
    That works. But of course, there are other, more satisfying ways to quench one’s sexual frustration…
  4. “As an erotica writer, I watch porn for educational and inspirational use.”
    Sounds like some fun and stimulating research!
  5. “I write erotica and my boyfriend makes me read it to him. It’s unbelievably arousing.”
    Seems perfectly believable to us!
  6. “I love writing erotica. I’m turned on by the idea of people using my words to get themselves off.”
    We know how that goes—getting you turned on is what turns us on here!

In the mood for some hot, erotic experiences? Real-life is always better than fiction!

Check out more confessions from erotica writers here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/confessions-from-erotica-writers#.fcBA1Nv9JV

Morrissey Wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

sexy-librarianIt’s that time of year again when the British magazine Literary Review nominates all the worst sex scenes “to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them.” For the past 23 years, some of the best writers have won the famously humiliating award, including John Updike, Norman Mailer, and Tom Wolfe (who won the Bad Sex in Fiction lifetime achievement award!). And this year, Morrissey can count himself among those prestigious, embarrassed winners.

Morrissey wasn’t the only big name among this year’s nominees: Erica Jong, Richard Bausch, Lauren Groff, George Pelecanos, and Thomas Espedal were all shortlisted (read their excerpts below). But when Morrissey’s book List of the Lost came out a few months ago, it was immediately mocked for its truly awful sexual descriptions, with many critics predicting he’d be a shoo-in for the Bad Sex award. Here’s one scene: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation …with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.” Literary Review tweeted this at the awards: “In an ideal world this award would be received by Morrissey. Or someone who publishes Morrissey. Or someone who likes Morrissey.” #BadSex

Ouch! In the mood for some howling, frenzied, snowballing fun? We love bulbous salutations!

Check out more excerpts of Bad Sex in Fiction nominees here: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/nov/18/bad-sex-award-2015-the-contenders-in-quotes