The Solar Eclipse Had A Big Impact On Porn Searches

It’s definitely clear by now that people will search for whatever porn might be tied to a big cultural event (think presidential candidate porn during the election, for example). But surprisingly, the recent solar eclipse did not have that effect—it seems people actually went outside to view the rare celestial event instead of searching for the best eclipse-themed adult entertainment! Porn site xHamster reported a huge drop in traffic all over the country around and during the eclipse.

Traffic from 7350054890_99bf861756_othe cities in the path of totality dropped as much as 50%, but even cities that only got to see a partial eclipse saw dramatic drops in xHamster traffic. According to the site, traffic soared right afterward—jumping to 85%! “It just goes to show that porn stars can never compete with real stars.” said xHamster. “Of course, you won’t burn your eyes looking at ours.”

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Check out more about the solar eclipse’s impact on porn searches: https://www.refinery29.com/2017/08/169205/solar-eclipse-porn-traffic

Man Wanted To Make a Baby During the Eclipse

One man had very specific plans for how he’d like to experience the total solar eclipse in Oregon: make a baby. He posted an ad on Craigslist to find a game partner willing to go on a “cosmic orgasmic” adventure with him. “If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening,” he writes.

Image Credit: NASA
Image Credit: NASA

But the real magic happens when totality occurs: “we will have simultaneous orgasms and we will conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution.” In order for this to happen, the man’s cock will need to be directed towards the sun, because “both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets.” So, ladies, if you’re down for some metaphysical fucking, you can experience a “brief moment of ecstasy”—but only if you like cats.

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Check out the man’s craigslist ad to make a baby during the eclipse here: https://www.refinery29.com/2017/08/167779/craigslist-ad-totality-eclipse-pregnancy