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How to Do Polyamory, Successfully

If polyamory seems hard, that’s because it is. Polyamorous couples often have partners in other polyamorous relationships, and those partners have other relationships, and so on. So how do polyamorous couples juggle their time, deal with the inevitable jealousy, and all the other difficult factors that go into dating multiple people? Here’s how to do polyamory, successfully, according to those who know:

There’s no such thing as TMI
It’s all about communication. Being transparent is the best way to defuse the jealousy: checking in, tell-alls, daily texts. This is the key to avoiding envy.
Be a planner
According to one long-term polyamorous couple, Google calendar is a godsend. Since there’s so many people involved, this is an indispensable tool where everyone can log and view plans, dates, and vacations up to a year in advance. “Time is the most valuable resource within a poly relationship.”
Accept your jealousy and grow from it
“There’s a growth opportunity in being able to see your partner in love with someone else.” Instead of letting the jealousy overwhelm you, think of it as an opportunity for growth.
Get to know your lovers’ lovers
This is also key for managing jealousy. “The tendency is to build things up in your head. ‘I haven’t met you, so you must be way cuter, younger, smarter, sexier.’ It helps alleviate a lot of concerns if you get face to face.”
Never force it
Starting a monogamous relationship with someone you hope will be into polyamory later on is a recipe for disaster.

Looking for a “growth opportunity” yourself? We can help you grow in ways you never thought possible!

Check out more tips on how to do polyamory successfully here: https://www.pdxmonthly.com/articles/2016/4/22/how-to-do-polyamory-successfully

A Polyamorist View of Monogamy

Have you ever considered what’s more difficult, monogamy or polyamory? Many people assume that because monogamy is the more socially acceptable form of romantic partnership, it must be easy, and more natural. But a polyamorist in Together magazine examines the many challenging and unnatural ways monogamy manifests itself in our society. Here are some of the highlights (read the entire piece below).

“Arguably, polyamory requires a lot more ‘work’ than monogamy. It’s logistically more challenging managing multiple relationships—there are only so many hours in a week,” says polyamorist Michael McDonald. “But if monogamy is so much simpler than polyamory, why does it feel like so much work?” McDonald argues that monogamy is not natural—as in, it’s not in a human’s nature to couple with just one person—so if a person chooses to be monogamous, then they are participating in “an advanced form of relating that requires us to transcend what comes naturally to us in relationship.”

McDonald goes on to describe how monogamous couples can be separated into two different camps: conscious monogamy and unconscious monogamy. Conscious monogamy is when a couple transcends their very nature to choose a long-term, co-created partnership. Unconscious monogamy is rooted in fear, relating to societal expectations and to anxieties about security, which he says is the more common, more insidious form of monogamy we often see today. McDonald believes, therefore, that we should “be encouraging polyamory as the norm, and monogamy as the advanced, only meant for the most experienced.”

Looking for something “natural” yourself? We encourage you to go with your instincts at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about a polyamorist’s view of monogamy here: https://together.guide/a-polyamorist-view-of-monogamy/

This is What Happened When a Couple Revealed Their Sexual Fantasies to Each Other

Have you wondered what it would be like to share your sexual fantasies with your partner? Maybe you wanted to but felt there were some things just too kinky to reveal? Well, gay couple RJ and Will decided to take a quiz on a website that asked about their sexual fantasies to then share the results with each other. And as you can imagine, they found out some pretty interesting stuff about one another (check out a video of the encounter below).

“I want to take pictures of us having sex? That’s not something that we’ve done…” said RJ. Some of the stuff they’ve done (watch and do things they’ve seen in porn, for example), but a lot of the stuff they’d be into if the other wanted to try it: “Call RJ obscene words? No! That’s so mean….I mean, but if he’s into it…” For some of the questions, they were just confused: “Wear ear plugs during sex? What?” Will was also surprised to discover that RJ would be into “facials,” or, ahem, “cum over my face.” In the end, they discovered that they’d both be into group sex…maybe involving pies? “I say we go to a pleasure resort, and bring a ton of pies with us!”

Want to explore some of your sexual fantasies? Whatever turns you on—pies or no—we are down to try!

Check out more about the couple who shared their sexual fantasies together here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jenruggirello/an-engaged-couple-revealed-their-sexual-fantasiesand-it-was#.anyW9oMBYl

This is How Couples Reacted to Reading the Latest ’50 Shades’

The latest installment of the BDSM classic Fifty Shades of Grey was released to eager fans last summer. Since then, Buzzfeed wanted to find out how couples would react to reading Grey to each other for the first time. Some couples imagined they’d be turned on, while others were already giggling at the sure to be over the top sex scenes. Here are some highlights of couples reacting to Grey (check out the hilarious video below).

“Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick,” reads one extremely amused girlfriend. It didn’t take long to notice that there seems to be three people in the relationship—“Grey, her, and his cock!” At a different point a gay guy astutely asks, “does it seem like this book was written by a fifth grader?” Then they read one of the racier—and for some, bewildering—parts in the book: “An image of her shackled to my bed, peeled ginger root inserted in her ass so she can clutch her buttocks…” And then there was this amazing observation about the heroine’s “cock-tightening grin”: “What an adjective!” a girlfriend exclaims. Last but not least, we’ll just leave you with this gem that had every couple lose it: “I’m going to make you cum like a freight train, baby!”

Want to have a kinky experience yourself? As long as you don’t refer to your cock in the third person, we say, “All aboard!”

Check out the video of couples reading Grey on Buzzfeed or watch below:

7 Types of Sex Every Married Couple Has

If you’re married, you’ve probably gotten used to ‘The ol’ go-to’ routine of sex. On one hand, getting some every Saturday morning is just what you want to get your weekend started right. On the other, the familiar types of sex you have as a married person becomes, how do we put this, sort of comically comfortable. For this reason, Buzzfeed’s latest illustrated list about the types of sex every married couple has is all the more funny…because it’s true (check out the images below).

The Saturday morning “we finally have a minute” sex
Hurray, it’s Saturday! As Prince says, “Breakfast can wait.”
The distracted-by-pets mating sex
Meow!
The “we had a huge dinner and are bloated and gross but don’t care cause we’re legally bound” sex
Woman on top of her husband asks: “Did you just fall asleep for a second?”
The holiday have-to
“Oh yeah, it’s Valentines Day. We should probably do it.”
“Yup.”
And it’s never a bad idea!
The morning-breath, no-kissing sex
Sometimes not kissing while you’re fucking can be hot!
The “we haven’t done it in a while so we should” obligatory romance
“It’s been two weeks, we should probably do it.”“Yup.”
The ol’ go-to routine
Otherwise known as the “we know what each other likes so we just keep doing that and it’s awesome, stop judging us” sex!

Looking to change things up? You know what they say—nothing like variety to add some spice!

Check out Buzzfeed’s illustrated article “11 Types Of Sex Married People Have”: https://www.buzzfeed.com/lorynbrantz/11-types-of-sex-married-people-have#.grwxq8bl9o

Porn Stars Give Couples Sex Advice

Have you ever heard the expression “Fuck like a porn star”? Well, now you actually can, thanks to the helpful advice of a few porn stars! In Buzzfeed’s new video, adult entertainers Paris Kennedy and Tommy Pistol give couples some sage sex advice on how to bust out all the hottest moves in bed (check out the video below). Here are the highlights.

One couple wanted to experiment with fetish-play and BDSM, so Paris Kennedy showed them how to use a belt as a nifty restraining device, as well as how to find the “sweet spot” during spanking. A different couple wanted advice on how to keep going for endurance fuck-fests. The porn stars suggested stopping when it starts to be too much, and then giving her head for a while so the guy can cool down. Tommy Pistol’s best advice was this: “you got to be vocal and clear…and to respond and listen.” After the tutorial, one girlfriend gave this ringing endorsement: “I’m horny now. Let’s go!”

Want to fuck like a porn star? We can hit all your sweet spots!

Check out more about porn stars giving couples sex advice here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/bencoleman2/porn-stars-teach-couples-secret-sex-moves#.dlpyZ79lkz

The Best Couples Are Good at Two Things: Fucking and Talking About Fucking

A large scale study of sexual satisfaction and overall happiness in long-term relationships found that the happiest couples are the ones who are fucking and talking about fucking. “Couples who are more satisfied are driven to have sex more often, which gives them more satisfaction and leads to more frequency,” said the study’s lead author. The study, which will be published in the Journal of Sex Research, also found that the happiest couples use a variety of different sex moves, and give each other head and orgasms.

Both men and women said that communication really is key. According to the study, what makes satisfied men and women the happiest is when “they praise their partner for something they did in bed; are asked by their partner for something they want; ask for something they want from their partner; talk on the phone or email with their partner during the day to tease about something they want; ask for feedback on how something felt.” Both sexes also felt that some essential, sexy things for keeping the spark alive were sexy lingerie, erotic massages, taking a shower together, and talking about or acting out fantasies. Sounds like the perfect recipe for happiness to us!

Want to have a satisfying sexual experience yourself? Come tell us your fantasies!

Check out more about the sex lives of sexually satisfied couples here: https://jezebel.com/lasting-couples-are-super-great-at-two-things-talking-1758944975

Couple’s Kinky Night in Handcuffs Leads to Arrest

We’d be willing to bet that probably every couples‘ worst fear when they break out the handcuffs for some fetish-play is losing the key. But, as it turns out, it could actually be much worse—imagine losing the key, needing to call the cops for help, and then getting arrested and put in actual, non-kinky handcuffs! That’s exactly what happened to one poor kinkster.

According to police, an Arkansas man’s fun night of using sex-cuffs ended in the pair being replaced by another used for the man’s arrest. The man needed to call the cops to remove a pair of handcuffs he’d been using with his wife the night before while “doing some ‘kinky’ things,” the official report stated. But when the police officer did a routine search of the man in the police database, an outstanding warrant for his arrest came up. And so the handcuffs went back on, but this time the experience was probably a lot less thrilling. Even the arresting officer felt sympathy for the man: “I sort of wish the guy had invested in an extra handcuff key,” he said.

Want to have some naughty fun yourself? We’re always down for some “kinky things” here!

Check out more about how a couple’s kinky night in handcuffs led to an arrest: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/handcuffs-arkansas-kinky-police_us_56bedc17e4b0c3c5505190ee

Here’s How Much Sex Happy Couples Have

Even though as a society we think that sex is the secret sauce to a lasting relationship, more sex isn’t always better for couples in a long term relationship. So what is the magical number that a couple should have sex to keep their relationship happy and healthy? A new study has the answer, and the number is probably less than you might think. As it turns out, sex once a week is the sweet spot for established couples.

The study looked at data from 25,510 Americans aged 18 to 89 and found that while having sex definitely means more satisfaction and well-being in a relationship, happiness maxes out at sex about once a week. “This showed a linear association between sex and happiness up to a frequency of once a week, but at higher frequencies there is no longer an association,” said a psychologist on the study. “Therefore it is not necessary, on average, for couples to aim to engage in sex as frequently as possible.” In another interesting finding, the study found that having sex once a week makes couples happier than if they had more money! The takeaway message is that having sex regularly is important for maintaining happiness in a relationship, but that it’s also okay for couples to have realistic expectations for their sex life.

Looking to increase your happiness and well-being? We’ve always got a day in our week for some secret sauce!

Here’s more about how often happy couples have sex here.

Couples Who Sext Are Having the Best Sex

Let’s face it, since sexting is basically only discussed in scandalous news stories, it’s gotten a bad rap. But what if we told you that sexting among consenting adults has many benefits? A new study presented at the American Psychological Association proves that the couples who sext together stay together—because they’re having the best sex!

In a survey that asked 870 participants aged 18 to 82 about their sexting habits, a staggering 82 percent of the people reported sexting within the last year. And the adults who engaged in consensual sexting were happier sexually and with their relationship in general. The psychologists who led the study think this is because sexting is a form of communication that benefits both men and women: men prefer visual stimuli while women respond to the positive reinforcement of knowing that they’re desired. The psychologists are hopeful that with more research into the benefits of sexting, it could eventually be used in couple’s therapy to promote more communication and intimacy between partners. As one researcher said, “sexting can be good.”

Want to have some sexy, beneficial experiences yourself? We’ll show you ours if you show us yours!

Check out more about the benefits of sexting here: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/08/08/430322824/could-sexting-help-your-relationship?