Ravers Protest Over Glory Holes

glory holeEvery raver knows the essentials of a killer party: speaker-thumping music, crazy get-ups, laser lights and Day-Glo, and of course, glory holes! That’s why hundreds of protesters have taken up camp in Montreal’s nightlife district to protest the lack of glory holes at raves. They’re hoping to pressure promoters into getting “on the right side of history,” which means, as one raver says, “one where glory holes are plentiful and ubiquitous.”

Event organizers say they have nothing against letting ravers have a party all night with glory holes—but legally, they’re simply not allowed to. “Right now, it’s illegal to give blow jobs to strangers in venues that are open to the public,” says a promoter. The event organizers are encouraging the ravers to pack up their camps and take it to the man: “Culture is downstream from politics, and so if you want a random person to wrap their lips around your dick, you got to email your politicians and tell them that you won’t vote for them unless they’re pro glory hole.” But the ravers aren’t convinced, saying the only way they’ll leave is if the promoters give them a blowjob—without or without a glory hole.

Looking for a wild and crazy party. We can keep you up all night long here!

Check out more about ravers protesting over glory holes here: https://www.ravenews.ca/en/read/2016/january/12/

Sweden’s Giant Snow Dick Was Erased…So an Even Bigger One Was Erected

When community members started complaining about a giant dick in a Swedish park, the city ordered one of its workers to erase it. The dick, which was carved into the snow over a frozen moat, needed to be scraped off bit-by-bit (thus sparking hilarious Twitter responses like “Yeah, right there. That’s it.”). The worker felt such strong penis envy while erasing the giant dick that he knew he had to replace it. And he wasn’t the only one who had strong feelings of remorse over the removal: a Facebook group called “restore the snow penis” quickly achieved more than 3,300 likes!

snowpenis

So now in the erased snow dick’s place is an even bigger, even more spectacular massive snow dick (see images below)! The worker used a snowblower, and erected it on such a huge scale that it can only be seen from above. This means that no one on the ground can see it and become offended. “When an established artist paints a penis in oil paint, he can hang in a frame in a gallery. But if an ordinary citizen draws a penis in the snow, it’s the obscene and must be removed. I mean it’s just about who the creator is,” the hero, er, worker said.

Looking for something spectacular yourself? Everything is bigger and better with us!

Check out images of the giant snow dick here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sweden-snow-penis_us_56a1b0abe4b0d8cc10999534

‘Tattoo Fixers’ Shows How Many Men Get—and Regret—Dick Tattoos

tattoobodyA man from England thought it would be a good idea to get a cute tattoo of an elephant—on his dick! “He let his friend ink a crude tattoo of the large beast around his crotch with his penis serving as the trunk,” reported the Huffington Post. But immediately after it was finished, the man started regretting it (see images below).

“It’s just a mess,” he said on a recent episode of the British show “Tattoo Fixers.” “It looks like it’s been drawn on with a [pen].” Turns out, the man had a few too many drinks before letting his friend break out the tattoo gun. The poor “Elephant-Man” is sadly not the only man to get a dick tattoo he soon regretted. “A man recently made headlines by having vacuum cleaner etched on his willie, with his shaft serving as the hose,” said the Huffington Post. The lesson here, guys: maybe spend a little time imagining what your dick will look like tattooed before pulling the (tattoo gun) trigger.

Want to have a guilt-free, thrilling experience? You won’t soon regret any decisions you make with us!

Check out more about the guy who got an elephant tattoo on his cock here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/look-tattoo-of-elephant-on-guys-penis-makes-his-junk-the-trunk_us_569e66d8e4b04c8137617f28

Fucking On a Hoverboard is Now a Thing

It was only a matter of time before the increasingly trendy hoverboard would find a way to enter, er, glide into our sex lives. And now, hoversex is an actual thing—complete with a new porn category! That’s right, you can now watch people fuck while on hoverboards. In one video, a man glides around a room on a hoverboard while pumping into the woman who’s effortlessly wrapped around his waist. “She bounces up and down, moaning, while he glides in circles,” Broadly reports.

In a different video, a woman squats on all fours on a hoverboard, gently floating toward a hard cock that glides effortlessly into her mouth. While hoversex is a new phenomenon, it’s already captured many a hoverer’s sexual imagination. One guy pictures a whole new Kama Sutra for hoverboards: “Two people could be standing fucking doggy style, and the person in the rear would have to move back and forth on the hoverboard,” he explains. “The guy could probably lay on his back on the bed with his feet on the floor and the woman could be on the hoverboard and face either way.” One thing’s for sure, hoversex is only just taking off!

Want to have an effortlessly sexy experience yourself? Jump on your hoverboard and glide our way!

Check out more about hoversex here: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/people-are-having-sex-on-hoverboards

Lesbians Touch a Dick For the First Time

Image Stills from YouTube Video | Users: BriaAndChrissy

If you’re a lesbian and you’ve gone your whole life without touching a dick, suddenly finding your hands on one could be a bit of a surprise. And that’s exactly what happened in a hilarious new video by singing duo and lesbian couple Bria and Chrissy. Some of their lesbian friends who have never experienced a cock before got to find out what one is really like. Here are some highlights (watch the video below).

“I’ve done public speaking and I hate public speaking… [I’ve] nearly gotten hit by a car… and this is definitely the most nervous I’ve ever been,” one woman explained before touching the dick. Another woman guessed that it might “feel like a snake” before going in for the grab. As one lesbian fondled the cock, she noticed that it “feels like play-doh, that’s been warmed up,” while another woman is reminded of her time as a butcher, when she stuffed turkey necks with corn on the cob. The end result: “appreciate not procreate.” Or put another way, “it’s healthy and it’s normal to celebrate everybody’s body for what it is, but it doesn’t mean you have to be attracted to it.” To each her own!

In the mood for an exciting and new experience yourself? We are all about celebrating the body here!

Watch the video of lesbians touching a dick for the first time here:

h/t: Huffington Post Gay Voices

The Device That Will Help You Strengthen Your Dick

kgoalboostHey guys, have you been doing your Kegels lately? Strengthening the pelvic floor by holding and releasing the muscles between your cock and your ass will help you to have better, stronger orgasms and increase your stamina during sex. And now there’s a device that will whip your dick into shape in an interactive and enjoyable way.

The kGoal Boost is shaped liked a pussy and almost as fun (wink wink!). You sit on it, and the vibrations flex and release “the muscles of the perineum in time with the button’s pulsing,” explains the Frisky. So basically, it’s like a personal trainer for your dick! You can use it in the car, at work, and even while vegging out, all while tracking your progress by connecting the device directly to your smartphone. “All of our guided workouts and games are five-minute chunks. If you’re doing a workout for five minutes a day, every day, you’re going to be in a real good spot,” says a rep of kGoal Boost. Who would’ve thought exercising could be so stimulating, literally?

In the mood to exercise certain special areas? We can help you increase your stamina and your pleasure right here!

Check out more about the device that will strengthen your dick here: https://www.thefrisky.com/2015-12-10/hey-guys-heres-a-device-to-help-you-strengthen-your-penis/

Man With World’s Largest Dick Goes Viral With New Song

jonahfalconJonah Falcon, the man famous for having the world’s largest dick, is letting it all hang out in his new music video. The 42-year-old with a 9-inch cock (13.5 inches hard!) has already made several documentaries about his member—and has even given advice to well-endowed actor, John Hamm, about how to deal with the attention—and now he’s singing about it. “It’s Too Big” is all about what it’s like to live with a wine-bottle sized dick.

Since its release, the dancey pop song about “the biggest [dick] in history” quickly went viral. And Falcon seems to love the attention: in the video, he wears biker shorts to showcase his giant dick. In everyday life, he says he likes to show off his dick “wearing tight jean shorts, and it would go halfway down my pant leg.” He’s used to people asking him to see his stuff, and he’s usually comfortable just to “whip it out.” And his dick is definitely impressive: “When I’m fully, fully hard, I’m longer than my forearm and bigger than my wrist,” Falcon boasts. Wow, “it’s too big” is no exaggeration!

Looking to get some sexual attention yourself? Come show off your goods right here!

Check out more about the man with the world’s largest dick here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/05/06/it-s-too-big-meet-jonah-falcon-the-man-with-the-world-s-largest-penis.html

How 3 of Hollywood’s Most Realistic Sex Scenes Were Created

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Have you ever wondered how Hollywood’s most famous sex scenes were created to seem so realistic? In films like Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac Vol. I and II, the actors appear to be actually fucking—as in, we see shots of up-close, seemingly unsimulated penetrative sex. So how did the director achieve this level of realism without asking his actors to have actual sex? And how do other films pull off realistic looking sex scenes? To find out, let’s go behind the scenes of 3 famous ones.

  1. Nymphomaniac Vol. IHow did Lars Von Trier create such realistic sex scenes as the one that shows Shia LaBeouf’s cock repeatedly penetrating an actress? His method is three-tiered. His team first shot the actors simulating sex, then shot porn-stars actually having sex, and later digitally-imposed the two images together. “So above the waist it will be the star and below the waist it will be the doubles,” explains the film’s producer. They also used a prosthetic cock for a very realistic looking blowjob scene.
  2. Blue is the Warmest ColorIf you’ve seen this film, you must have wondered how they pulled off the epic seven-minute sex scene that includes scissoring, slapping, writhing, and manual and oral stimulation. During the intense 10 day sex scene shoot, the actors were asked to get naked and wear prosthetic vaginas. “We had fake pussies that were molds of our real pussies,” said one of the actors. “It was weird to have a fake mold of your pussy and then put it over your real one.” But it sure looked good!
  3. Monster’s BallArguably one of the best sex scenes in film history has a butt-naked Halle Berry famously shouting “Make me feel good!” So how’d they pull off the realistic looking sex? The answer’s simple: excellent acting. “I would only do it if Billy Bob agreed to be as naked as I was,” said Berry. Billy Bob Thornton later claimed that the notorious sex scene was the reason his relationship ended with then girlfriend Angelina Jolie.

In the mood for an intense experience yourself? We’re all about real and unsimulated here!

Check out more about how Hollywood’s most famous sex scenes were created here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/03/24/how-hollywood-s-most-realistic-sex-scenes-were-made-don-t-look-now-to-.html

Girlfriends Describe Their Boyfriends’ Dicks to Police Sketch Artist in Hilarious Video

Image Source: Flickr.com | Quacktaculous

If you had to describe your boyfriend’s dick to a police sketch artist, how well do you think you’d do? Several girlfriends were put to the test when they tried to describe their partner’s member to a stranger in as much helpful detail as possible while their guys listened on. And as you can probably imagine, the results are pretty hilarious (watch the video below).

First thing’s first: circumcised or uncircumcised (most of the girlfriends knew the answer)? Next, describe the penis shape: “it’s shaped like a penis”; “it’s shaped like a can of beans.” How veiny is the cock? What does it look like hard? (one woman described her man’s as an elephant trunk; another said “a full GMO banana”). They had to give accurate girth, distinguishing characteristics such as moles, and even the color (“it changes color,” laughed one woman). And of course, the lady’s didn’t ignore the balls: they had to describe the color, shape (“you know that net that catches basketballs?”), whether they’re very wrinkly, and even the amount of sag. In the end, the lady’s were very satisfied with the police sketch artist’s likenesses—while some of the men were a bit more critical: “It’s definitely bigger than that!”

Looking to give your “mushroom with a little smile” some attention? We love full GMO bananas here!

Here is the hilarious video of girlfriends describing their boyfriends’ cocks to a police sketch artist.

12 Foods That Totally Don’t Look Like Anything Else

Creative Commons Photo Credit Attribution Carrot - AlicePopkorn www.flickr.com/photos/47283811@N06/15641871466/in/pool-th... Photo Credit Attribution Background - Viktor Simonic URL: www.flickr.com/photos/viktorsimonic/8660455830/

Even though you might feel a bit immature snickering at a peach that looks like an ass or a squash that looks like a giant dick, we’ve all done it. And while you probably think you have a dirty mind for giggling at a banana that looks just like a boner, we’re here to assure you that your laughter is warranted. And Distractify does, too—they made a hilarious list of foods that don’t remotely look like anything else (check it out below). Here are some highlights.

  • That Banana Sundae is Sure Happy to See You
    Some prankster stood the banana erect and made balls out of two scoops of vanilla ice cream. This makes us crave dessert!
  • Hot Dogs and Bun
    “Nothing to see here. Just some hot dogs being inserted into a bun.”
  • T-Bone Pussy Steak
    Mmm, nothing better than steak and pussy!
  • Double-Breasted Ice Cream Cone
    Titty-fucking, anyone?
  • Chicken Wing Cock
    The chicken wing takes after its father (who must have been very well endowed). Finger lickin’ good!
  • Grapefruit Vagina
    Auntie Angel (of the famous grapefruit blowjob) would approve.
  • Jelly Filled Vajonuts
    Oops, we meant donuts! So creamy…
  • Masculine Carrot
    The lady carrots love him!
  • Two Scoops of Ice Cream with Two Cherries on Top, Please
    Those are some perky scoops there! Makes us want to lick the cherries right off.
  • Pink Glazed Donut
    Sugary butt sex.
  • Cock Melons
    No, seriously. These look exactly like cocks! It’s uncanny.
  • Cock Sausage
    Mmm, spicy!

Have a hankering for something sweet or savory? We have everything you crave right here!

Check out Distractify’s list “18 Foods That Don’t Remotely Look Like Anything Else.”