Tag: balls

Women Share The Most Surprising Things They Didn’t Realize About Dicks

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the internet recently: “Women, what surprised you the most the first time you saw or played with a penis?” The answers didn’t disappoint. Here are some of the funniest, strangest, and just plain true things people didn’t realize about dicks until they saw one, ahem, in the flesh.

  1. “BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting.”
    Yes!
  2. “How squishy it is flaccid.”
    Fun to play with!
  3. “The texture! When they said ‘hard’ I didn’t know what to expect….”
    Now you know!
  4. “What struck me the most was that it’s just there, dangling away, all day, every day, just hanging out with its ball buddies. Like how do you not sit on it? Is it not constantly annoying you? Is the satisfaction of unsticking it from your thighs worth the discomfort of it sticking in the first place?”
    LOL!
  5. “[I thought] it had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it.”
    Hmm, OK…
  6. “I expected the penis, but I didn’t expect the balls to be so…there.”
    They are indeed!
  7. “That it sort of floated in a bath…I didn’t expect that.”
    Like a rubber ducky!
  8. “It can jump on its own.”
    It has a mind of its own!
  9. “The veins!”
    Yup.

Looking for a “real” experience? We can always surprise you here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more women’s reactions to seeing a dick for the first time: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/women-share-surprising-things-about-penises-reddit

Woman Using Boyfriend’s Balls As A Makeup Blender Goes Viral

tonythetigerSometimes, inspiration comes in the unlikeliest of places—and for one Florida woman, it came in the form of her boyfriend’s balls. A video of her using her man’s testicles as a makeup blender has gone viral, and it really is as nuts as it sounds (watch the video below, if you dare). “I never in a million years imagined it would get this much attention,” Johnna Hines told The Huffington Post.

The clip, which was originally posted on Twitter, shows the woman applying concealer to her forehead—with actual human balls. “To be honest, it worked surprisingly well,” Hines said. She went on to explain that she got the idea because her boyfriend sometimes puts his balls on her head as a joke. Obviously, the apple falling on Newton’s head seems an apt comparison here.

Looking for an unusual experience? Come get creative right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about a woman using her boyfriend’s balls to apply makeup: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/woman-uses-boyfriends-balls-as-a-beauty-blender-like-its-meant-to-be-nsfw_us_58fe2658e4b018a9ce5d564e

The World’s First Naked Barber Will Satisfy All Your Fetish Needs

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_hotdude2If you’ve been looking for an erotic experience you won’t soon forget and a good barber who’ll shave your balls, we’ve got the guy for you. Rickard Savvy, aka, “The Naked Barber,” is a qualified beautician who’s adding a little kink to your usual grooming routine. “The sensation of having someone else [shaving my balls] is quite an erotic experience and it is quite arousing,” says one satisfied customer.

The Naked Barber provides all your fetish grooming needs and will get naked right along with you. He throws you in a BDSM sling, and then gets you into various erotic positions like doggy style to shave all those hard to reach places. He says a lot guys get turned on by a straight-razor shave or a scrotum shave, but in general, his fetish clients—gay and straight men, and women—just like the kinky experience.

Want to satisfy your erotic needs? Come get kinky at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Naked Barber: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2014/08/19/worlds-first-naked-barber-will-totally-shave-balls-sling-nsfw/

This 3D-Printed Scrotum Sculpture Lets You Go Balls To the Wall

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_steelballsDo you love art and balls? If so, we’ve got the perfect Indiegogo campaign for you! Brian Sloan, the person who brought you the Most Beautiful Anus and Balls Contest, is now funding his latest sex-centric endeavor, “Wall Balls.” The Daily Dotexplains, “The product is a wall-mountable (lol) fiberglass sculpture of a scrotum emerging from the front of someone’s fly. It weighs six pounds, and can be yours for $59.”

According to Sloan, the campaign will “bring to life” the 3D-printed scrotum of the Balls Contest’s third place winner. Sadly, it seems the first and second place winners do not live in places willing to let them use 3D machines to print balls. Sloan needs 100 orders to bring Wall Balls to life, which he says is for people “who love art” or “are awesome.” Or, apparently, can’t get a 3D-printing company to scan their own scrotums.

Looking to get “balls to the wall” yourself? Come get creative right here!

Check out more about the 3D-printed scrotum sculpture on Indiegogo: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/3d-printed-scrotum/

Man Complains To Ikea About Getting His Balls Stuck In Their Chair 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_steelballsNorwegian photographer Claus Jørstad recently took to Ikea’s comments page to complain about his recent purchase. Like many customers, he had some strong opinions about the chair he bought—except his hilarious post was shared tens of thousands of times. It seems Ikea’s Marius chair, which he bought to use as a shower stool after a knee injury, has some ill-conceived holes in it—if you have testes.

In his own words: “Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f*ck happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck.” His “nutter,” (or “the skipper and two sailors”) is his nuts, in case that’s not clear, which got stuck in the holes in the chair. The poor bastard panicked a bit, but luckily the cold water kicked on before too long and, because of the natural miracle known as shrinkage, he was freed. Thankfully, he’s come up with a solution to the Ikea chair fiasco: covering the holes with a washcloth. It’s named “weinermonkey.”

Looking for some wet and wild action? We promise no “skipper” or “sailors” will be endangered on our sexy voyage!

Check out more about the man who complained to Ikea after getting his balls stuck in their chair:https://www.dailydot.com/irl/ikea-chair-holes-ball-stuck/

Girlfriends Describe Their Boyfriends’ Dicks to Police Sketch Artist in Hilarious Video

Image Source: Flickr.com | Quacktaculous

If you had to describe your boyfriend’s dick to a police sketch artist, how well do you think you’d do? Several girlfriends were put to the test when they tried to describe their partner’s member to a stranger in as much helpful detail as possible while their guys listened on. And as you can probably imagine, the results are pretty hilarious (watch the video below).

First thing’s first: circumcised or uncircumcised (most of the girlfriends knew the answer)? Next, describe the penis shape: “it’s shaped like a penis”; “it’s shaped like a can of beans.” How veiny is the cock? What does it look like hard? (one woman described her man’s as an elephant trunk; another said “a full GMO banana”). They had to give accurate girth, distinguishing characteristics such as moles, and even the color (“it changes color,” laughed one woman). And of course, the lady’s didn’t ignore the balls: they had to describe the color, shape (“you know that net that catches basketballs?”), whether they’re very wrinkly, and even the amount of sag. In the end, the lady’s were very satisfied with the police sketch artist’s likenesses—while some of the men were a bit more critical: “It’s definitely bigger than that!”

Looking to give your “mushroom with a little smile” some attention? We love full GMO bananas here!

Here is the hilarious video of girlfriends describing their boyfriends’ cocks to a police sketch artist.

12 Foods That Totally Don’t Look Like Anything Else

Creative Commons Photo Credit Attribution Carrot - AlicePopkorn www.flickr.com/photos/47283811@N06/15641871466/in/pool-th... Photo Credit Attribution Background - Viktor Simonic URL: www.flickr.com/photos/viktorsimonic/8660455830/

Even though you might feel a bit immature snickering at a peach that looks like an ass or a squash that looks like a giant dick, we’ve all done it. And while you probably think you have a dirty mind for giggling at a banana that looks just like a boner, we’re here to assure you that your laughter is warranted. And Distractify does, too—they made a hilarious list of foods that don’t remotely look like anything else (check it out below). Here are some highlights.

  • That Banana Sundae is Sure Happy to See You
    Some prankster stood the banana erect and made balls out of two scoops of vanilla ice cream. This makes us crave dessert!
  • Hot Dogs and Bun
    “Nothing to see here. Just some hot dogs being inserted into a bun.”
  • T-Bone Pussy Steak
    Mmm, nothing better than steak and pussy!
  • Double-Breasted Ice Cream Cone
    Titty-fucking, anyone?
  • Chicken Wing Cock
    The chicken wing takes after its father (who must have been very well endowed). Finger lickin’ good!
  • Grapefruit Vagina
    Auntie Angel (of the famous grapefruit blowjob) would approve.
  • Jelly Filled Vajonuts
    Oops, we meant donuts! So creamy…
  • Masculine Carrot
    The lady carrots love him!
  • Two Scoops of Ice Cream with Two Cherries on Top, Please
    Those are some perky scoops there! Makes us want to lick the cherries right off.
  • Pink Glazed Donut
    Sugary butt sex.
  • Cock Melons
    No, seriously. These look exactly like cocks! It’s uncanny.
  • Cock Sausage
    Mmm, spicy!

Have a hankering for something sweet or savory? We have everything you crave right here!

Check out Distractify’s list “18 Foods That Don’t Remotely Look Like Anything Else.”

8 Facts Every Dude Should Know About His Dick

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_strawberrySure, you know your dick intimately, but do you know why hot tubs are bad for your balls? Or that not getting enough sleep can make you lose your boner? As Buzzfeed says, these facts are sort of like “the owner’s manual you never knew you needed.” Here are 8 facts every dude needs to know about his cock.

  1. The penis is a good indicator of your overall health
    One doctor says, “It’s like the dipstick of the body’s health.” That’s why if there’s something wrong with the genitals, you should go see your doctor to make sure it’s not a symptom of something else. And similarly, if there’s something wrong with your health, your dick could be affected too.
  2. Premature ejaculation is a lot more common than you think
    Premature ejaculation is when you cum about one to two minutes after penetration and then feel distressed and anxious about it. Statistics show that it affects about 10%-30% of men at some point in their lives. But those who suffer from it every time should talk to their doctor—it can be overcome.
  3. Your testicle size is important
    Your testicles should be about the same size and each be about the size of a walnut. If they’re too big or too small, there could be a problem with your sperm, in which case go see your doctor.
  4. Hot tubs are really bad for your balls
    “It’s like dunking your testicles like teabags in hot water,” says a doctor. That’s because getting your balls too hot halts your sperm.
  5. Cumming a lot is very good for you
    Ejaculating often is good for you because it lowers your risk of prostate cancer. Not to mention all the health benefits, like lower stress and increased happiness.
  6. Sleep deprivation can mess with your boner
    Not getting enough sleep can make you lose your morning wood and decrease your sex drive.
  7. Wash your dick after sex
    Since bacteria can grow faster when cum dries out on the skin, washing after sex will help you avoid infection.
  8. Don’t get your dick pierced
    In case you were considering it, consider this: possible complications include “significant bleeding, chronic irritation, or even damage to the urethra—which could leave you peeing out of the new hole.”

Want us to get to know you intimately? Your doctor will definitely approve!

Here are more facts every dude should know about his dick.

NEWS: Kegels 2.0!

I guess Betty White was spot on when she said, ““Why do people say, “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” Betty was absolutely right. According to the Huffington Post, Tatyana Kozhevnikova unofficially has the world’s strongest vagina! She recently put her powerful peach on display at the “Body Shocking Show” in England.

Tatyana proves her strength by inserting a wooden egg into her vagina while attaching the weight to the egg. She contracts her muscles from down under around the egg, and lifts the weight like a champ! I would suggest trying Kegels before attempting this! Reportedly, Tatyana says in the video it has taken her 20 years of practice. Practice does make perfect! I should note that she does not hold a Guinness World Record; there is no Guinness World Record for the strongest vajayjay. Perhaps Guinness could work on this, and give credit where credit is due. Lots of people enjoy and appreciate vaginal strength!

Like with any other consistent workout regime, the results have to be amazing. Tatyana recommends this vaginal workout to any woman that wants to be a sexual dynamo, “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.” I seriously need to incorporate this into my pilates routine whilst bumpin’ Prince’s “Pussy Control.