Avengers Archives - Phone Sex: News, Insights, & Secrets NiteFlirt.com

Huge Post-Coronavirus Orgy Planned To End “Longest Dry Spell In History”

A couple gave their neighbors something to look forward to with a flyer advertising an Avengers-themed “Post Pandemic Pan-Philadelphia Orgy.” While the event started as a joke, the pair have received so many inquiries that they now intend to actually host it. “Humanity is currently in the middle of the largest dry spell in all of history, that’s what inspired the flyers,” the couple says.

“It may seem strange to advertise an orgy in such a public way, but yes, we wanted to bring a smile to our neighbors’ faces,” they add. As for the Avengers theme, “We just like spandex, bodysuits and tights. It seemed like a sexy, easy theme, and since this is new for us, it felt good to have some direction.” But, really, what the orgy comes down to is this: “We just want something to look forward to.”

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Check out more about a huge post-coronavirus orgy: https://nypost.com/2020/05/28/post-coronavirus-orgy-planned-after-historical-dry-spell/

Josh Brolin Tries ‘Perineum Sunning’ And Burns His ‘Pucker Hole’

Avengers star Josh Brolin has a message for today’s youth: tanning your taint isn’t a good idea. The actor learned the hard lesson when he tried “perineum sunning,” a new trend in which people expose the area between the anus and the sex organs to the sun. Social media influencers claim that “anus tanning” can regulate hormones as well as sleep patterns.

When Brolin heard about it, he decided to give it a go: “Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did.” He added, “My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.” Dermatologists agree with Brolin, explaining that the sensitive area is more prone to sunburn and more susceptible to skin cancer than other areas of the body. Burn!

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Check out more about Josh Brolin burning his anus: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/josh-brolin-perineum-sunning_n_5de6de75e4b0913e6f870d67

You Can Bang Your Favorite Avenger With This Sex Toy Collection

If you’ve been lusting after one of the sexy Avengers action heroes, you can now make your fantasy a reality. Geeky Sex Toys has a line of Avengers-inspired sex toys called the Indulgers that’s a perfect way to celebrate the new movie, Avengers: Endgame. Both Iron Man and Captain America are represented by themed butt plugs: The Arse Reactor is a metallic red with a glow in the dark base, and Captain Anal gives the phrase “That’s America’s ass” a whole new meaning.

You can fuck Thor’s silicone sex toy hammer, or use Hawkeye’s arrow with a flared base to safely put up your ass. Black Widow’s male masturbator pays homage to her costume and even has a vibrating function. And, of course, there’s the Incredible Dong: the Hulk’s bright green, veiny, 8.5” by 7.8” dildo.

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Check out more about Avengers-themed sex toys: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/avengers-endgame-sex-toys/

Pornhub Reveals The Most Popular ‘Avengers’ Searches

It seems fans are very excited for the release of the new Avengers movie—literally. Anticipation over Avengers: Endgame is so high that Pornhub visitors are searching for their favorite Marvel characters on the adult entertainment site. According to Pornhub, searches for “Avengers” has been on the uptick, showing a 2,912 percent increase ahead of the movie’s release.

Porhub reported that, in comparison, there was “only” a 356 percent spike for “Avengers” searches with the release of Avengers: Infinity War. The most popular individual Avenger searches were for the film’s hot leading ladies: Captain Marvel at number one and Black Widow at number two. After that, fans wanted to see Spider-Man, the Hulk, and Captain America in action (wink wink).

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Check out more about Pornhub’s data showing a surge in Avengers searches: https://mashable.com/article/pornhub-avengers-searches/

Be A Hero In The Bedroom With These ‘Avengers’ Sex Toys

As if the new Avengers movie wasn’t thrilling enough, now fans have something even more exciting to look forward to. An Australian sex toy company called Geeky Sex Toys is debuting a new line of Avengers-themed adult novelties in anticipation of Avengers: Infinity War. The company tweeted this teaser: “The time has come!! We are very excited to release out new team of superheroes into the hands of all your naughty nerds!!”

Daily Dot reports, “There’s a naughty version of Thor’s trusty hammer mjölnir, a golden ‘Infinity Fist’ toy, and even a replica of what the company thinks the Hulk’s anatomy looks like.” That’s right: giant green dildos, Captain America butt plugs, and so much more for fans to enjoy. Rest assured, these are not gag gifts (which is reflected in the price), but quality, body-safe sex toys for fans who actually want to get off with Thor’s hammer.

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Check out more about Avengers-themed sex toys: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/avengers-sex-toys-marvel/

There’s Now a Sex Toy For Every Avengers Character

If you’re an Avengers super fan—and you also happen to love sex toys—we’ve got great news: a Tumblr user has designed a different sex toy for each Avengers character (see pictures below). This is especially great news if you’ve ever wanted to fuck one of the characters! Depending on your favorite character and your favorite style of sex toy, there really is something for everyone.

Fancy the Hulk?—well now you can have him, in the form of a massive, bright green 12 inch silicone dildo! There’s also various vibrators: a Black Widow clit stimulator, g-spot Hawkeye, red-white-and-blue Captain America. Whether you’re looking for an electric experience with Thor or a luxurious one with Loki, these sex toys all have super powers—to get you off!

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Check out more about the Avengers sex toys here.