A Complete Dictionary Of The Most Bizarre Sex Slang

cosmic_banditaHave you ever been asked to “swing the dolphin?” If so, you’ve been introduced to the delightful and strange world of sex slang! There’s even a dictionary which has over 130,000 collected words and phrases that people have used over the centuries to mean dick, pussy, ass, and sex. Here are some of the weirdest ones (check out more below).

  1. A bit of summer cabbage (circa 1895)
    “Summer cabbage” means to have sex. “Cabbage” itself is used in slang to mean pussy, as has the “cauliflower,” the “mushroom,” and the “artichoke.”
  2. Dry mouthed widow (c. 1942)
    The dry mouthed widow is the dry hand that substitutes for the wet pussy. There’s a lot of terms of this sort, like “Rosie Palm and her Five Daughters” and “Mrs Palm and her Five Daughters.”
  3. Engage in three to one and bound to lose (c. 1793)
    The “three” represents the dick and the two testicles, the “one” is the pussy, and the “loss” is of semen when you cum.
  4. Flock of geese flying out of one’s backside (c. 1959)
    This is a fine Australian phrase that is an attempt to represent orgasm. Strange!
  5. Like a herd of turtles (c. 1940s)
    This is an Australian term for a sex positive woman! It’s used for a woman who has sex enthusiastically. This is from the late 1940s: “You ought to take her out to the toolies [tool shed], she’ll go like a herd of turtles!”
  6. Watergate (c. 1560)
    This is a term for a wet pussy. As Broadly explains, “Watergates were something you had in irrigation systems, and the gate is a word for vagina. It’s 1560, which is pretty much almost as far back as slang has been collected.”

In the mood for something cheeky? Come join NiteFlirt’s naughty herd!

Check out more sex slang here: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/complete-dictionary-bizarre-sex-slang

Attn Men: We Don’t Care If You Can See Our Buttholes

A piece titled “Yes Ladies, We’ve Seen Your Butthole and That’s Okay” has been stirring up a lot of buzz on the internet recently. The author basically wants women to know that yes, he can see their starfish during doggy-style sex, but they shouldn’t feel self-conscious about it. What’s rubbing women the wrong way (unlike a nice finger on the ass!) is the assumption that women feel there’s something shameful or embarrassing about their buttholes—which is woefully wrong.

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“To discover that a body part you’ve never even factored into this equation is actually front and center may be discomfiting, to say the least. But for those people, here’s the important thing to remember: Yes, we can see your butthole — and we like it,” he says. He goes on to explain that a woman “unwittingly displayed” during doggy-style might feel unsexy—but as many pointed out, women don’t really care if someone sees their butthole or not during sex. In other words, there’s no reason to reassure “women around the world” that men love every part of them, including their butthole—it’s okay; we don’t care.

Looking for something sexy yourself? We let it all hang out here—and we like it!

Check out more about how women don’t care if men see their buttholes during sex: https://jezebel.com/attn-men-we-dont-care-if-you-can-see-our-buttholes-1796234501

Tops See Their Buttholes For The First Time

NiteFlirt_best_Phone _Sex_HOT_JOCK_ASSThe butthole is one of the most fascinating, dynamic, and glorious erogenous zones on our bodies. But even though it is a place of tremendous pleasure and mystery, a lot of gay men associate their own starfish with internalized homophobia and shame. That’s why there’s a video of tops checking out their asses for the first time ever—and the results are priceless (check it out below).

In response to what they love about men’s butts, they said, “they’re juicy,” and “ready for the dinner plate.” Then they were given hand-mirrors and instructed to “take a look.” One guy said, “it’s very Molly Ringwald—Pretty in Pink.” Another apologized for not treating his butthole “as well as the dick.” And overall, they all agreed to “love love love your hole.”

Looking to explore your most erogenous zones? Come discover tremendous pleasure right here!

Check out the video of tops seeing their buttholes for the first time: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tops-see-their-holes-for-the-first-time_us_592c74dfe4b07d848fdc05a2

Meghan Trainor’s New Bae Is All About Her bASS

set1143011You may remember Meghan Trainor from her ridiculously popular hit, “All About That Bass.” In case you were too caught up in the catchy rhythm to get what the song is about, it’s an anthem celebrating the singer’s thick, voluptuous ass! As Trainor told Billboard, “You know how the bass guitar in a song is like its ‘thickness,’ the ‘bottom’? I kind of related a body to that.” Well, now she’s got another fan of her sweet, juicy bASS—her hot new boyfriend, actor Daryl Sabara from Spy Kids.

In the upcoming issue of Cosmopolitan, Trainor opens up about their relationship—and the really amazing, super hot sex they’re having! “I never really felt sexy with guys before. No one expressed how they liked my body out loud in the bedroom until I met Daryl,” she said. “He is obsessed with it —every inch. And that has improved my confidence more than even “Bass” did. He’s a champion, so we’re in heaven.” Loud bedroom sex while enjoying every inch of the “boom boom that all the boys chase”?—get it, girl!

Hankering for something sweet and juicy? Come get that boom boom right here!

Check out more about all the hot sex Meghan Trainor and her new guy are having: https://www.buzzfeed.com/christianzamora/meghan-trainor-and-the-spy-dick?utm_term=.emGMjKw4md#.egGZ7N5dBY

Apple Changed the Peach Emoji To Look Less Like an Ass 

peachThe changes Apple made to the ass-shaped peach emoji is making a lot of people feel panicked. Now that they’ve redrawn the beloved peach to look less like an ass, Apple users are scrambling to find new ways to caption their butt selfies. Thankfully, the eggplant emoji remains unchanged.

While Apple’s latest iOs 10.2 software update for iPhones includes some great emoji additions like a face palm, David Bowie, and new and improved foods, their attempt to de-sexualize the peach has angered many sexters. Twitter users in particular are furious that the peach now simply looks like a fruit instead of a big, juicy ass: “I’m still using the new peach emoji as a butt. You can’t hold me down, @apple,” one hero tweeted. But a different Twitter user’s lament pretty much sums up what the rest of us are feeling: “omg no. they are killing the butt shaped peach emoji. how are we going to text about booties?” Butt-shaped peach, how will we ever sext without you?

Looking for something ripe and juicy yourself? We’ve got all the peach you’ve been hankering for right here!

Check out more about Apple’s redesigned peach emoji that looks less like an ass: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/11/02/goodbye-peach-butt-apples-latest-emoji-update-includes-new-david-bowie-face-palm-emoji/

Dinosaur Butt Sex Book Is Finalist For a Prestigious Award

NiteFlirt_best_Phone _Sex_HOT_JOCK_ASSChuck Tingle is the erotic fiction writer behind such beloved works as Pounded In the Butt By My Own Butt. Fans love him for his raunchy sense of humor and hot sci-fi sex. But would anyone call his latest smutty short story “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” a literary masterpiece? Apparently, the answer is yes, according to the folks who judge the esteemed Hugo Award.

The Hugo Award, given annually to the best works in science fiction and fantasy, is widely considered one of the most prestigious science fiction awards. So, you may be wondering—have they lost their damn minds nominating “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”? The short answer is, sort of: according to the Guardian, a right-wing campaign of conservatives is seeking to “combat the Hugo tendency to reward works deemed ‘niche, academic, overtly to the left in ideology and flavour, and ultimately lacking what might best be called visceral, gut-level, swashbuckling fun.’” Given this criteria, yes, it does seem “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” would indeed give readers “gut-level, swashbuckling fun.” Perhaps these judges might also find something of high literary merit over at Pornhub—there’s plenty of butt invasion going on there!

Dinosaurs may be extinct, but sex with them (or any other animal) is not allowed on NiteFlirt. If you’re interested in some raunchy fun that is allowed, we’re confident we could win any award in the x-rated category!

Check out more about the dinosaur butt sex book up for a prestigious award here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/space-raptor-butt-invasion?utm_term=.anyW9oMBYl#.sgjQEAl6KL

Guy Catches Ass-Eating Neighbors In His Back Alley

There’s no better way to enjoy a bright, sunny day than by going outside—to give a rimjob in an alleyway! Yes, having some backdoor fun in a back alley does seem like an excellent way to spend the day, as one guy’s neighbors can attest. The pair was spotted by the man engaging in anilingus in broad daylight!

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He posted a video of the amorous couple, which, not surprisingly, quickly made the rounds on the internet. It’s not clear if they’re a man and a woman, or a man and a man with long hair, but one thing’s for sure: they sure do love to eat the booty! Some have speculated that the enthusiastic ass-lovers were possibly filming a low-budget “caught in the act” porn. Needless to say, they definitely didn’t need any lunch after all that tossed salad!

Looking for something naughty yourself? Backdoor, back alley—we’re all about getting adventurous here!

Check out more about the backdoor couple getting down in the back alley here: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/back-alley-public-sex-nsfw/

Finally, a Love Song About Ass-Play

If Boyz II Men were trying to seduce a lady in a not-safe-for-radio version of “I’ll Make Love To You,” it’d sound something like the Youtube sensation Buckwheat Groats’ song “Tonight I’m Gonna Eat the Butt.” The song is a romantic love letter to analingus and the “hella freaky stuff” you do for love. Because when you love someone, you just wanna “eat the butt like a ‘meaty p zone’ from Pizza Hut”!

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Tonight, Buckwheat really, really wants to eat Bae’s butt. He wants to “eat it like a snack. Eat it like the Times wrote a 4-star review on that ass crack.” But he understands “you might have some reservations about eating booty, like what’s gonna happen if I go in there and see some doodee.” It’s cool though, cause he knows “that salad gotta get tossed,” so believe him when he says it’s no big deal if he gets some “extra dressing.” Yeah, just relax, girl, and “clamp those butt cheeks on my head and then smother me.”

Looking for a tasty treat tonight? Just relax, Bae, and let us do our thang!

Check out Buckwheat Groats’ love ballad for the ages “Tonight I’m Gonna Eat the Butt” here: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/analingus-music-video/

Enter a Giant Butthole in Japan

shortsexHave you ever longed to travel along with the Magic School Bus through a human body? Well, if you’re in Japan, you actually can—except instead of a body, you can just explore a giant anus! The exhibit, called Karada no Fushigi Daibouken 2015 (からだのふしぎ大冒険2015) or “The Mysterious Great Adventure of the Body 2015,” is promising to get people interested in science—literally through the endlessly fascinating wonders of the ass!

After walking through a giant butthole, you can also engage in other types of ass-play, such as going down a poop slide (poop shoot?)! The aim of the hands-on, ass-centric exhibit is to teach human biology by exploring how the body actually works. And what better way to do that than with anal exploration? Japan, thank you for helping us to bravely enter—slowly at first and with plenty of lubrication—your anal wonderland!

Looking for some fun and exciting experiences yourself? We are all about exploring the wonderful human body here!

Check out more about the Japanese exhibit that lets you enter a giant butthole here: https://kotaku.com/enter-a-huge-butthole-in-japan-1722184062

6 Anal Sex Tips For Beginners

Have you been wanting to try some back-door action but don’t know where to start? If so, you’re in luck—with these ass-play tips, you will never fear the rear again! Here’s a beginner’s guide to anal sex that will help ensure everything goes smoothly.

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  1. Try Anal Solo First
    Before exploring ass-play with somebody else, try it with yourself first. “Finger insertion is a great way to get your bottoms used to being penetrated,” says a sex expert. You can also use a butt-plug during masturbation to see what it feels like. “The more you gently play around the area, the more it will relax.” So exploration and foreplay is key here, people!
  2. Be aware of what you’re eating
    A lot of people are worried that they might have an, um, accident during anal sex. But if you pay attention to what you eat before having someone knock at your backdoor, you should be golden. “Tucking into gas-inducing foods like onions, chickpeas, broccoli, or cauliflower is not going to add to the experience,” says the sex expert.
  3. Make sure you’re clean down there
    If you know you’re going to have a dick in your butt, you need to make sure you’re clean down there. “There should only be poo in the anal canal when you actually need to go to the toilet,” so if you clean yourself with warm water or wet wipes after a bowel movement, you should be good to go.
  4. Lube, glorious lube
    This is the most important element of successful anal sex. The ass, unlike the pussy, doesn’t self-lubricate, so if you’re going to have a wet n’ wild experience, you gotta reach for the lube. “Apply [the lube] liberally before you have anal intercourse (to the anus and penis),” and remember to use water-based lube with condoms (oil-based will cause the latex in a condom to break).
  5. Don’t go in dick-first
    The ass is naturally tight, so you want to ease on in nice and slow. “The more time you take over foreplay, the easier it will be.” Start with your hands, making sure they’re clean and the nails trimmed. Using lube, you should “start by gently circling the opening with the pads of your fingers.” When the ass has been prepped for insertion, start with a finger, remembering to slowly and steadily insert just a little bit at a time. You should “wait for them to get used to the sensation and for the sphincter muscles to relax” before going in a bit more. This is also a good time to incorporate some rimming (with soft and wet gentle licks at first), as well as head, a hand-job, or clit-action.
  6. Dick, meet butt
    After some good foreplay, use the same technique as before for penetration. Slowly push in a bit at a time, pausing to allow the receiver to get used to it before pushing in further. Some good beginner positions to try: receiver on top so they have complete control, missionary, doggy style, and spooning. The sex expert adds, “positions where your knees are bent up to your chest generally feel more comfortable as this straightens out the anal canal.”

Want to have new and fun experiences? We are always down for getting wet n’ wild!

Check out more tips about anal sex for beginners here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/no-more-rear-fear#.ihBPpLxzo2