NEWS: A Shot Of Southern Comfort A Day Will Keep the Doctor Away!

I’ve read that the occasional glass of red wine is healthy and encouraged, but this is definitely the first time I’ve heard that Southern Comfort has contributed to a person’s longevity.

Nancy Lamperti, a lovely 101-year-old Staten Island woman claims that her liquid diet over the years has attributed to her long life. Nancy throws back four alcoholic beverages a day, get it girl! According to https://blog.silive.com/inside_out_column/2013/03/a_staten_island_womans_recipe_for_living_a_long_life.html

she indulges with two glasses of Paisano wine at lunch; around 4 o’clock she treats herself to a small glass of Southern Comfort, and ends her day with a Bud! This is definitely food, or shall I say booze for thought.

Nancy actually turned the big 101 Saturday, Happy Birthday Nancy! Cheers to you!

NEWS: Insurance Company with a Unique Incentive!

It’s very common for companies to offer luxurious and sometimes over-the- top reward to employees for meeting sales quotas; first class trips, 5 star resort accommodations, cash prizes, but what about an orgy? A German Insurance Company rewarded its successful salesmen with an orgy in a Budapest spa, I mean why not!? I’ve been to a thermal spa in Budapest and they are pretty magical but there was no orgy (not to my knowledge), I can imagine it would church up the experience a bit.

A division of the company, Ergo claimed the company organized this orgy at a Budapest spa in 2007 for their successful salesman. That is serious employee appreciation! Guests were allowed to take prostitutes to bed and “do whatever they like.” It sounds like this affair was pretty legit, an orgy participant revealed that this event was very organized. Prostitutes wore color-coded armbands to track how many times they had (I struggle for a word here) performed services; clearly this event needed color coordination (insert LOL here). This anonymous participant told a German newspaper, Handelsblatt: ‘After each such encounter the women were stamped on the lower arm in order to keep track of how often each woman was frequented.” Apparently double dipping was not taboo at this party, just tracked!

He went on to explain: “The women wore red and yellow wrist bands. One lot were hostesses, the others would fulfill your every wish. There were also women with white wristbands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps.” Come on, this is normal! I think the red and yellow were for the honorable mentions and the white were for the overachievers, makes sense, WOW!

A rep for the company admits this Budapest orgy did happen but the organizers have left the company since then and it was “not the usual way of rewarding their employees.”

I’m not sure this was the most appropriate employee reward, who am I to judge? I just hope the men didn’t think it was a team building exercise too.

Link to Article: https://uniquedaily.com/2013/03/insurance-company-held-orgy-to-reward-salesmen/

Lesbian Strapon Fantasies

By MissReaghan

Once upon a time, the male sex drive was important.  It was crucial in, quite literally the survival of the species … You needed to be horny all the time because, without your sperm donation, we’d not have survived past the first dinosaur dinner.  And I understand that … Hell, I’m even willing to go so far as to thank you for your service to all mankind.  Without you, I’d not be here, now would I?  However, I’d like to point out that those days are LONG gone … and your sex drive isn’t so important anymore.

Who Cums First?
These days, with the advent of modern medicine and the leaps and bounds we are making as a society … well, let’s just say we’ve evolved beyond the need for a male sex drive and have arrived quite nicely in a place where (as most of my male slaves will appreciate) MY sex drive is far superior to yours and my pleasure takes precedence over everything.  This means I can indulge whenever and with whomever I’d desire and you’re just happy to go along for the trip.

Most of you would also admit …  whether it be Masturbation Instruction or imagining yourself being stroked by a teasing phone sex Goddess … you are pretty much insatiable.  Left to your own decisions, you’d probably cum until you went blind!  Thankfully, that’s all become moot since I’m the one in charge now.

Quality over Quantity
Now that we’ve established the order of things, let’s talk about HOW we get to my pleasure.  It’s not about how often we have sex … After all, your sex drive is a moot afterthought these days … it’s more about engaging in sexual activities that maximize my pleasure.  Strap on play is one of those things that falls in this category. They are:

Always available
Bigger than you
More desirable than you
Empowering (for me, anyway)

Most of you will ask, “I don’t understand, Mistress. How is using a silicone phallus empowering?”

Strapons provide for a physical representation of the essential power exchange relationship.  Some of the best orgasms of my life came at the end of particularly intense strapon sessions with my slave boys, without any stimulation to my genitals at all …

Why?
Because I love fucking you in the arse.  Using a strapon with my slave boys is … something different than the love and attention paid to my wife when we are intimate.

I don’t find it hot in the sexual sense, per say.  After all, anyone can push in and out while grunting and sweating (I’m looking at you cuckolds in the group).  Turning you into my little bitch is definitely amusing, and the squealing always makes me grin.  It’s more about the imbalance of power … knowing that you are submitting to something that you’d NEVER have done before, and probably wouldn’t do without being prompted.

I know you boys like strap on phone sex no matter who’s giving it, but try it with a lesbian Femdom.  You’ll find that we have a special touch when it comes to phallic-shaped sex toys.

I expect my phone to be ringing soon, so don’t keep me waiting.

NEWS: New Anti-Rape unmentionables being created!

Reportedly three engineers in India have developed electroshock lingerie that will protect women from rapists, sexual predators, and creepers alike! Perez Hilton explains:

“They call it SHE, or Society Harnessing Equipment, and it comes equipped with GPS, pressure sensors, and a mobile communications system so if the wearer is attacked it will shock the attacker (up to 82 times!) and send an alert to the parents and police.

The trio of engineers were inspired to make the underwear after a woman was gang raped and fatally beaten on a bus in December and decided something had to be done to protect women NOW since the legal system is so damn slow!”

Its truly amazing that we have people out there today that are devoted on finding new ways to keep everyone safe and protected. I’m definitely interested to read more about this; supposedly the lingerie will be ready for mass production this month.

Link to Article: https://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2013-04-03-anti-rape-lingerie-invention-india#.UVxO1RxZcc8

NEWS: Oral Sex Hits New Heights!

Studies show that male bats perform oral sex on females, wait it gets better…researchers believe the act is performed to ensure the sex lasts longer! These flying rats are on to something!

According to a 13-month study on this phenomena researchers witnessed 57 cases of sex, oral and intercourse…usually in the a.m. Well clearly they choose the morning hours, who doesn’t want to kick off their day like that?

The article by https://news.discovery.com/animals/bats-perform-oral-sex-130401.htm goes into more detail by explaining: “Apart from humans, bats also exhibit oral sex as a courtship behavior,” said Ganapathy Marimuthu, a bat researcher at Madurai Kamaraj University in India. Initially, males groomed their penises to go erect before approaching females. When they gently touched females with their wings, females typically moved away, and males followed.When the females stopped moving, the males started licking the females’ vaginas — the act known as cunnilingus. This foreplay may help arouse and lubricate females, the researchers said.Each case of cunnilingus typically lasted about 50 seconds. The males then mounted the females for 10 to 20 seconds, and then went back to cunnilingus for 94 to 188 seconds.”

This is crazy, not only do male bats muff dive but they go in for seconds after a quick mounting, I’m impressed. The species of bats that were found to get freaky-deaky were fruit bats, and researchers mentioned it’s not just male-to-female but female-to-male servicing as well. Evidently bats know the whole concept of give-and- take!

Sometimes you have to see it to believe it, check it out: https://www.livescience.com/28335-bats-perform-oral-sex-video.html

Intelligent Phone Sex Encounters

By Intoxicating Isabelle

The Intelligent Phone Sex Connection

I have conversed in the past about why intelligent men call phone sex, and of course there are a plethora of reasons.  There is something about the challenge of connecting with a powerful, confident and intelligent woman during  phone sex that is almost inexplicable.  This feeling is at the very core of the male ego, the need and desire to mate with a woman of equal or more intelligence than himself.  Of course anyone can screw the town whore or the bimbo college hottie.  It is a rare feat of courage to attempt to woo and capture the attention of a woman of great intelligence.

The battle of wits between two sexually charged people is but a fantasy for most men, but when they engage me as their intelligent Femdom Goddess they can finally release their feelings of desire with a woman of extensive verbiage.  You and I will seduce one another with our use of extensive vocabulary and descriptive verbiage to weave a detailed and erotic web of sexual lust and tension that has both of us breathlessly whispering.

Intellectual Stimulation With A Twist Of Erotic Mind Manipulation

As our heartbeats speed up, almost in sync, we will find ourselves in the midst of a sensual and sexual fantasy unlike anything we have experienced before.  Our words will guide us closer and closer toward the horizon of our sexual peaks. We will create the ultimate erotic fantasy using nothing more than our words, allowing us to venture to parts of our desires that we had not dared to explore before.

Intelligent phone sex is a rare experience that allows both partners to explore their fantasies in a new and exciting way. There is nothing quite like the connection that you will experience with your intelligent Femdom Goddess.  Are you ready to experience intellectual stimulation and erotic mind manipulation?

Until then,
Isabelle

NEWS: Kegels 2.0!

I guess Betty White was spot on when she said, ““Why do people say, “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” Betty was absolutely right. According to the Huffington Post, Tatyana Kozhevnikova unofficially has the world’s strongest vagina! She recently put her powerful peach on display at the “Body Shocking Show” in England.

Tatyana proves her strength by inserting a wooden egg into her vagina while attaching the weight to the egg. She contracts her muscles from down under around the egg, and lifts the weight like a champ! I would suggest trying Kegels before attempting this! Reportedly, Tatyana says in the video it has taken her 20 years of practice. Practice does make perfect! I should note that she does not hold a Guinness World Record; there is no Guinness World Record for the strongest vajayjay. Perhaps Guinness could work on this, and give credit where credit is due. Lots of people enjoy and appreciate vaginal strength!

Like with any other consistent workout regime, the results have to be amazing. Tatyana recommends this vaginal workout to any woman that wants to be a sexual dynamo, “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.” I seriously need to incorporate this into my pilates routine whilst bumpin’ Prince’s “Pussy Control.

NEWS: Incentive to wrap up the meat!?

I’m happy to announce the bacon craze is still in full force! The Seattle based company, J&D Foods has come out with Bacon Condoms, that “make your meat look like meat.” J&D is also known for their Bacon Mayo, Bacconiaise!

To make matters juicier, each rubber is doused in J&D’s baconlube! I’m not sure where I stand with this… sure, I love to live high on the hog but this is a bit much. I definitely need to read some enthusiastic testimonials before I beg for the bacon.

J&D Foods stated “Truly the new standard of animal protein themed prophylactics Bacon Condoms are proudly Made in America of the highest quality latex and rigorously tested to help ensure the utmost reliability and safety for when you’re makin’ Bacon.” Total pork protection!

Don’t fret, the fun doesn’t stop there, the company has also stated they are releasing Bacon Sunscreen! I need to take some time to really digest all of this pork. Will you try out these bacon infused products?

Imaginary Teasing

By Seductress Suzie

Weaving The Fantasy
As a teasing Phone Sex Mistress, I am an expert at weaving a fantasy in your mind, aren’t I?  Just with my voice, I can make you believe I am right  there, alongside of you.  That isn’t your hand stroking your cock, teasing it, it’s mine.  That isn’t a Fleshlight, it’s my talented mouth, or my wet and warm pussy you’re sliding that cock into.  I know just how to get inside of your head and make you believe that I am right there with you.

Guiding Your Masturbation
You’ve got a lot to do with this though.  You let me take control of your cock. You let me guide your hand as it strokes your shaft, rubs over your pre-cum slick head and cups those swollen cum filled  balls.  It’s really not your hand though, is it?  It’s my soft hand, the one that knows exactly how to touch you, to bring you to the edge, and then back off, then take you to the edge again and again. I will keep you on the edge until you are begging for a release.

I Know How To Tease You
That amazes you, doesn’t it?  How I know how to let up or even stop without you saying a word.  And you do try to fool me, you naughty little slut.  You think if you don’t say anything, if you don’t actually say “Oh, Goddess, I’m so close”, that you might actually sneak in an “accidental” orgasm.  Silly little stroker, you don’t have to say anything!  I know by how you’re breathing, by the little moans and gasps that escape your lips…. just how close you are.  So I can stop…or  I can give you just that one last stroke and then stop……denying of that orgasm that you think you need.  Come and play with me little pets, and experience how much fun orgasm denial can be.

Ciao,
Suzie

NEWS: This is total HOGWASH!

Bacon is instrumental in Sunday Brunch, it’s the main character in the BLT, and it’s a supportive role in a loaded baked potato. I think all pork lovers will agree that it’s a delectable treat and can go with plenty of dishes, however I’m not sure how the masses will feel about bacon flavored mouthwash? I was flabbergasted when I read that Proctor & Gamble have added Bacon Scope to their mouthwash product line. You might have to see it to believe it

At first I was sure this was a spoof or perhaps an early April fool’s but it’s looking like it’s the real deal. I checked out Scope’s website and here is a portion of their FAQ section:

Does Scope Bacon make my breath smell like bacon? No. Scope Bacon just tastes like bacon while you swish, but leaves your breath smelling minty fresh 5 times longer than brushing alone.

Is Scope Bacon a sufficient replacement for my breakfast?
 No. Scope Bacon contains zero nutritional value and does not serve as an acceptable substitute for food.

Should I use Scope Bacon before or after breakfast?
 We recommend using Scope Bacon after breakfast.

I will admit that I enjoy a tasty bacon burp but I’m not sure how I feel about liquid bacon…I guess it’s worth a try! A Yummy bacon kiss, now that is a new way to pork someone!