12 Things People Wish They Knew About Anal Sex

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Image Source: Flickr.com | User: ipalatin

Image Source: Flickr.com | User: ipalatin

For many people who’ve experimented with anal sex, they wish they knew then what they know now. You know, like not to pull out those anal beads like you’re starting a lawnmower! Here are 12 things people wish they knew about anal sex before trying it for the first time.

  1. Don’t go from 0 to 100 
    “You need to work up to it. Do NOT go straight to the penis.” Foreplay is all, people!
  2. Slow and steady wins the race
    No need to rush! Ease it on in nice and slow.
  3. It might raise your sexpecations
    “I wish I had known that anal sex would increase my expectations for sexual pleasure. I had a partner who made it really enjoyable for both if us.”
  4. Don’t pull anything out too fast
    “Best advice related to toys: Don’t remove anal beads as if you’re starting a lawnmower.”
  5. You can never use too much lube
    Nuff said.
  6. Cleanliness is next to godliness
    Don’t forget those wipes!
  7. Just say no to the burrito
    Maybe stay away from burritos the day you’re having anal sex…
  8. Those tingly, warming lubes could burn your butt
    “I do NOT recommend tingly lube! That stuff feels like a fire demon.”
  9. Might be wise to switch out your white sheets beforehand
    Or use towels!
  10. Bottoms can still run the show
    “The receiver or bottom should know that they are always in control and most definitely have the ability to shut down like Fort Knox.”
  11. Don’t put whatever was in the ass back in the pussy
    You could get an infection!
  12. Pegging can be fun!
    “I wish I knew that giving (for me, pegging) is just as fun as receiving. People are too quick to judge something before trying it!”

Looking to have an enjoyable, fun experience? We can definitely raise all your sexpectations!

Check out more things people wish they knew about anal sex here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolinekee/never-eat-chipotle-the-day-before#.qvMbwedpjz

Ted Cruz Doppelganger Set to Star in a Porn Film

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Searcy Hayes became internet-famous after appearing on an episode of Maury to prove to her fiance that their son is biologically his. But she didn’t get famous for that—instead, the internet flipped over how uncannily similar she looks to GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz! And now, XHamster is offering Hayes a starring role in her very own porn. She’s confirmed that for $10,000 she’ll cash in on her internet success and make her adult entertainment debut.

cruz

“We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme,” said the porn site’s spokesperson Mike Kulich. “I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action.” Perhaps even stranger than Hayes’ resemblance to Cruz is the fact that she has no idea who the guy is: “I never thought that somebody would compare me to, you know, like a president or whatever he was before he started running for president or anything. I mean, I’m still kinda shocked and amazed about it but God does what he wants to do,” Hayes said in an interview with the Daily Mail about the comparison. Well, Cruz fans, if you want to see his porn doppelganger in action, here’s your chance!

Looking for some action yourself? We can shock and amaze you right here!

Check out more about the Ted Cruz doppelganger who’s set to star in a porn: https://theslot.jezebel.com/ted-cruz-doppelganger-takes-her-15-minutes-and-stars-in-1772972164

Gay Sex in Porn Vs. Gay Sex in Real Life

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Original Image Source: Flickr.com | icanteachyouhowtodoit You may have noticed that the hot, freewheeling sex in gay porn isn’t exactly the most realistic depiction of what it’s really like. If you’ve ever tried to imitate what goes on in gay porn in real life—like if you’ve ever tried to pay the pizza guy with a blow-job, for example—then you know just how different gay porn can be from the real thing. Here are 7 examples of gay sex in porn vs. gay sex in real life.

  1. In gay porn, everybody is down for sex
    Oh, if only the pool guy, the fireman, and the police officer were actually down for sex whenever you wanted it in real life!
  2. In gay porn, they can stick it in without any foreplay whatsoever
    Um, yeah—in real life you’d be like “WTF?! That hurts!”
  3. In gay porn you never see them apply lube
    Apparently in the magical world of gay porn, cocks just slip in without any problem. In real life, however, you could use half a bottle of lube and still go back for more!
  4. In gay porn, they will fuck literally anywhere
    Yeah, it might be kind of difficult to fuck in the back of a busy lecture hall without anyone noticing.
  5. In gay porn, bottoms are folded down like pretzels to get into the trickiest sex positions
    Unfortunately in real life, not everyone is able to get their legs up behind their heads.
  6. Bottoms have no problem taking a dick in their butt in gay porn 
    In real life, it’s not always done so gracefully…
  7. In gay porn, you can fuck for hours
    In real life, things can only go on for so long. Damn!

Looking to add some fantasy to your life? We’re down for anything here!

Check out more about gay sex in porn vs. gay sex in real life here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/gay-sex-in-porn-vs-gay-sex-in-real-life#.uwp1wMz8vZ

This High Tech Mattress Can Tell If You Cheat

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_sex9It appears that Spain has an infidelity problem. At least that’s what the makers of the Smattress, a new high tech mattress that can detect if you’re cheating, would have you think. Durmet developed the Smattress in response to a report that Spain has a high rate of infidelity. The Smattress “detects deception” and then reports shady activity to the owner on an app! Yes, this product is real.

Its “Lover Detection System” includes twenty-four ultrasonic sensors which measure “suspicious movement” in the bed, and a 3D mattress model to show where most of the exertion is taking place. The company’s tagline is: “If your partner isn’t faithful, at least your mattress is.” Many Youtube watchers are skeptical of the policing mattress since obviously there are many other places to cheap than in one’s own bed. We like this Youtube user’s suggestion for the next step in cheating-detection: “Add a remote controlled taser.”

Looking for a little fun on the side? There are no tasers or ultrasonic sensors in our beds!

Check out more about the Smattress here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/smarttress-mattress-cheating_us_57151160e4b0060ccda3d3e1

9 Hilarious Tweets About Masturbating

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Image Source: Flickr.com | User: rccola159When it comes to cracking jokes about jerking off, you just have to give a hand (see what we did there?) to these witty people writing hilarious tweets about masturbating. As one Twitter user says, masturbation is really just a “VERY poorly attended orgy.” Here are 9 hilarious tweets about masturbating.

  1. “Good term for masturbation I just thought of – Jackin’ the peen stalk”
    Gotta climb to the top of the peen stalk and wrestle the one-eyed ogre to get that golden goose!
  2. “My caught masturbating face is exactly the same as my caught jamming out to NSYNC face because they’re simultaneous.”
    We don’t know, the latter might be more embarrassing…
  3. “Who called it “Masturbation tips for women” rather than ‘Dildos and Dildon’ts’.”
    It’s funny cause it’s true!
  4. “If there’s a sock on my doorknob it means I’m having sex with the other one.”
    Make sure you knock before entering!
  5. “If these walls could talk I’d almost certainly masturbate less.”
    Good thing they can’t—no reason to stop jerkin’ it!
  6. “Do guys have a go to masturbation sock like I do with shoesHAHAHA I’M KIDDING! I would never! I’m a lady.

    It’s an adorable strappy sandal.”
    Talk about a foot fetish!
  7. “The first rule of masturbation club is to come alone.#NationalMasturbationDay”
    The second rule of masturbation club: You do not talk about masturbation club—unless you’re cracking jokes about it on Twitter!
  8. “Is ‘toot my own horn’ a euphemism for masturbating yet?”
    It is now!
  9. “My friends gave me a bunch of sex toys for my birthday as a ‘joke.’ I can’t stop laughing*

    *masturbating”
    The gift that keeps on giving, er, receiving?

Looking to find some good lovin’ without the aid of a sock? We don’t mean to toot our own horn, but a NiteFlirt party is SO much better than a party of one!

Check out more hilarious tweets about masturbating here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/tweets-about-masturbating-that-are-just-really-really-fun#.iaDVgWbqox

The 7 Best Sex Toys For Gay Guys

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Background Image Source: Flickr.com | User: seenfulIf you’re a gay man, you’ve maybe considered at times how much better a good sex toy is than a boyfriend. As the Gaily Grind says, “A vibrator will never need Viagra to stay hard, will never lie about where it’s been, doesn’t expect you to cook for it, doesn’t care who you sleep with and will never give you an STI!” Whether or not you’re single, here are 7 sex toys better than having a boyfriend.

  1. Butt Banger
    This high quality vibrator offers you one sweet, lifelike ass, complete with realistic looking cock and balls! The flesh-like, super tight anal opening stretches to over 24 inches, and has a subtly ribbed interior that increases friction for more explosive orgasms.
  2. Beginner’s Anal Fantasy Kit
    This kit lets beginners and anal sex pros alike explore the exciting world of anal play! It includes such important backdoor staples as a prostate stimulator, anal beads, beaded probe stick, textured finger sleeve, and a butt plug.
  3. Rude Boy
    This vibrating prostate stimulator is the ultimate in orgasmic pleasure!
  4. Aneros Vibrator
    This has been dubbed the “Male G-spot Massager” for its ability to produce intense internal orgasms through prostate stimulation.
  5. 10 Function Vibrating Anal Wand
    This flexible, 10 function anal wand bends in every direction you want it to, and has 10 different vibration patterns!
  6. Autoblow2
    The new Autoblow2 comes with three beaded rings, and its design delivers continuous blow job action. Its all-metal motor is rated to last more than five hundred hours of use. You’ll never want a boyfriend with this perfect sex toy!
  7. Colt Big Boy Plug
    This is the perfect butt plug for beginners. The smooth, teardrop shape allows it to slip nicely inside the sphincter, and then once inside, it expands to a thrilling 2.25!”

Looking for the ultimate in orgasmic pleasure? Come have explosive fun with us here!

Check out more about the best sex toys for gay men here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/04/06/15-sex-toys-that-are-better-than-having-a-boyfriend/

Macy Gray Wrote a Love Song—To Her Vibrator

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_vibrator1Macy Gray is in love with Bob, and she wrote a nice little song about it (listen and watch the animated music video below). Nothing seems out of the ordinary, until you learn who Bob is: “Battery Operated Better,” aka her vibrator! Gray’s favorite sex toy is a “Rabbit from a hat” who “knows just where it’s at.” Yup, sounds like the perfect boyfriend!

Bob’s “better,” Gray sings, because he is “not complicated” and “fits like a glove.” Bob gets the job done as many times as she wants—from morning to night—without complaining “when I want another.” All Gray has to do to “start the fire and lightning” is turn him on. “Ooh ahh ohh I, I love my baby.” Ahh, yes, Macy Gray—you know “just where it’s at” with this song!

Want to start the fire and lightning? We know how to get the job done here!

Check out Macy Gray’s song and music video to her vibrator: https://themuse.jezebel.com/macy-gray-loves-her-vibrator-so-much-that-she-wrote-a-s-1720590352

Target Apologizes For “Star Wars” Toys That Look Just Like Dildos

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_phallicSometimes stores that sell toys need to apologize for merchandise that looks a little too, um, adult. That’s exactly what happened with Target’s latest “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” pool toys. One mother couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw what looked exactly like a beginner’s set of dildos (see pictures below)!

They all have long, girthy shafts, er, bodies, with round heads, and Darth Vader looks especially cock-like with his triangular cape-head. The mom shared a picture of the suspicious toys that look uncannily like dildos and her message to Target on her Facebook page: “Are we sure these are children’s toys, Target? Looks a little questionable to me.” Target immediately responded with an apology for the “objectionable” merchandise, saying, “We never want to offend anyone and have shared this with our Merchandise team for review.” Our guess is a lot of moms might want “the force” for themselves instead of their kids!

Looking to have some fun yourself? We’ve got everything you need right here to “awaken” your inner Jedi!

Check out more about the “Star Wars” toys that look exactly like dildos here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/02/07/target-responds-to-mom-who-thinks-these-star-wars-toys-look-an-awful-lot-like-dildos/

Don’t Worry, Ted Cruz Won’t Ban Sex Toys If He’s President

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republicanelephantLast week, the internet was abuzz with the rumored hypocrisy of GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz. In 2007, when Cruz was solicitor general of Texas, he defended a state law that criminalized the sale of sex toys. Basically, Cruz’s office wrote in a brief that people don’t have the legal right to masturbate (thankfully, his office lost). The recent coverage caused many a self-love advocate to weigh in, including Cruz’s college roommate who called Cruz out on his sanctimonious BS.

The ex-roommate tweeted, “Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to ‘stimulate their genitals.’ I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.” In Cruz’s 2007 brief, he said “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” But Cruz clarified his position on sex toys recently when he told WABC radio host Curtis Sliwa that he will not enact anti-sex toy legislation if he makes it to the White House. “What people do in their own private time with their selves is their own business, and it’s none of government’s business,” Cruz said. How true, Ted Cruz—now if only the American people were able to wipe from their imaginations the countless hours you spent “minding your own business” in college…

Looking to turn your attention to your own private time? You don’t need due-process to get some good loving’ with us!

Check out more about the controversy around Ted Cruz banning sex toys here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-dildos-sex-toy_us_57127615e4b0018f9cba3aad

Dildo Drone Is the Perfect Sex Toy For Masturbating Multitaskers

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Image Source: YouTube.com | User: Dildo Everything

Ever wanted to indulge in other pleasures at the same time you get off? Well now you can, thanks to the latest in hands-free sex toys that’s promising to fly off the adult store shelves: the Dildo Drone. That’s right, the Dildo Drone is the must-have device for all those multitasking masturbators out there!

In the Dildo Drone’s promotional video (watch below), a very happy customer sits back as her flying drone dildo allows her to simultaneously satisfy all her sinful pleasures: drinking a beer, eating a hamburger, and getting fucked by a dildo! “You know the problem with dildos is that you have to use one or both hands to get the job done. But what if I wanted to eat this burger and drink this beer at the same time?” she says. “Now I can enjoy three of my favorite things at the exact same time: beer, burger, dildo.” Unfortunately for the beer, burger, and dildo lovers out there, the video is a gag. One can always dream, though.

Looking to indulge all your pleasures? We can make you feel like you’re experiencing all of your favorite things at the same time here!

Check out more about the Dildo Drone by clicking here or watch the video below.