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The World’s Most Famous Madam Dies at 92

Madame Claude, the legendary brothel owner who pimped out failed French actresses to clients ranging from John F. Kennedy to the Shah of Iran, died recently at the age of 92. In the course of her four decades as the world’s most luxurious and legendary madam, she was caught a number of times for running a high-class call-girl service. “There are two things that people will always pay for: food and sex,” she reportedly said. “I wasn’t any good at cooking.”

A Vanity Fair expose described her as a matchmaker who married her girls off “to titles, famous names, brand names.” Her illegal and famous brothels in America and France were patrionzed by heads of state, royalty and powerful industrialists who paid $2,000 or more for madame’s services. She carefully groomed her girls, and preferred intellectual ones to sex-pots: “If I have to choose between a nymphomaniac and an intellectual, I’ll hire the intellectual,” she wrote. As Vanity Fair said, “Madame Claude was an institution, a legend, and a living legend at that.” Though she is gone, her legend will live on.

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Check out more about the world’s most famous madam here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/madame-claude-famous-madam-dead_567b0c97e4b06fa6887fe511

Woman Gets Arrested For Beating Boyfriend Over Bad Head

Police in Florida arrested a very drunk, very pissed off woman after she beat her boyfriend for giving her bad oral sex! Apparently, the two were involved in a hot 69 fest, when the man suddenly stopped prematurely. The Huffington Post reports that the man “told police that she became angry after he ‘finished first and stopped pleasuring her.'”

That’s when neighbors called the police to report a “disturbance”—which according to police involved the woman punching and scratching her lover, and threatening him with a stick and wrench (nothing ironic about that…). The enraged woman was arrested and put into a holding cell until she, ahem, cooled down (please, somebody give the woman a dildo!). Strangely, encounters like this have happened before: a different woman from the same Florida county got a felony charge for domestic battery after her boyfriend came before she did! Just goes to show, nice guys really do finish last!

In the mood for a hot, mutually satisfying encounter? The only way the cops are getting called here is for the good kind of disturbance involving loud noises!

Check out more about the woman who got arrested for beating her boyfriend over bad head here:https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/29/jennie-scott-florida-arrested-oral-sex_n_2381876.html

Grainy Image of Half-Assed Fashion Choice Almost Breaks the Internet

Remember that viral image circulating around the internet which asked “What Color is This Dress”? Well, now there’s another, stranger one involving a grainy image of a man possibly standing at a hotel kiosk without pants (check out the image below)! The dubious nature of the pant-less man has set the internet ablaze. Is he wearing pants? Is it some sort of a heinous faux pas in which a grown-ass man is wearing nude leggings in the lobby of a luxury hotel?

Caption this…Passenger Shaming

Posted by Passenger Shaming on Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Even more enticing about the picture is the blissfully unaware person behind the front desk! The internet has some theories about whether it’s an ass or just bad fashion: “Please let these be nude colored leggings… Please for all that is good and right in this world….” Kira True Lee posted on Facebook. Another user responded: “uh… pretty sure nude leggings don’t come with ass hair. Just sayin.” One thing’s for sure, booty pics seem to be the best way to “crack” the internet!

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Check out more about the mysterious pant-less man in the hotel lobby here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-internet-wont-get-behind-this-half-assed-fashion-choice-nsfw_5669cdbae4b080eddf576ea6

Naked Guy in a Box Masturbates For Art

A 23-year-old art student had a truly touching idea for a class project at the Iceland Academy of the Arts. His plan was to live-stream himself for an entire week in a glass box—completely butt-ass naked! But at day six, his project got a little too, um, personal for Youtube.

The video site abruptly interrupted his live-stream when he became aroused and started pleasuring himself. His wife defended him by insisting her husband’s stream was not stopped because he’d violated the company’s terms of policy (i.e, jerking off) but instead because there must have been some sort of a coincidental tech glitch—at the exact moment when he was caught masturbating. Unfortunately for Youtube, the masturbation video was posted to its site, until it was eventually flagged and taken down. We guess #nakinníkassa, Iceleandic for “naked in a box,” maybe wasn’t a mastur-piece after all!

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Check out more about the naked art student masturbating in a glass box here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/naked-guy-in-a-box-masturbates-live-breaks-the-internet-nsfw_566194f2e4b08e945feefd98

Vivid Entertainment Offers Miss Colombia $1 Million to Do Porn

You might remember Miss Colombia from her unfortunate involvement in what could be described as the most awkward Miss Universe pageant ever. You know, when she won for about 10 seconds before Steve Harvey realized he’d called the wrong winner. Well now, depending on her fondness for porn, there might be a silver lining to the beauty pageant fiasco.

Vivid Entertainment is offering her $1 million to appear in a porn project. According to TMZ, the company’s head Steve Hirsch wrote a letter to Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutierrez, offering an opportunity to “benefit from your experience financially as well as increase your fame.” Vivid is known for their celebrity sex tapes which have launched or enhanced the careers of stars such as Kim Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, and Pamela Anderson. Hirsch told Gutierrez in the letter that she can choose her sex partners, as well as “the type of sex you want to have and how many movies you ultimately appear in.” Hirsch added, “Try to think about the names of former Miss Universe or Miss America title holders. The only name that most people remember is Vanessa Williams.” Fair enough.

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Check out more about Vivid Entertainment’s $1 million offer to Miss Colombia here: https://jezebel.com/miss-colombia-is-being-offered-1-million-to-do-porn-1749426825

The Health Benefits of BDSM

Not that long ago—as in before the DSM of Mental Disorders in 2013—kinky sex, BDSM, and fetishism were considered a mental disorder among health professionals. But now, thanks in part to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, kinky sex has become more accepted and more mainstream. A study showed that 36% of adults have used bondage, which is a good thing because, as it turns out, BDSM has a host of health benefits. Here are some:

Improved Mental Health
A 2013 study looked at the psychological characteristics of kinksters to determine whether they were psychologically damaged in some way. The study found not only were they fine psychologically, but were actually more well adjusted than their vanilla counterparts! “Overall, the BDSM sample felt more secure in their relationships and had an increased sense of well-being. They were more conscientious toward others, more extraverted, more open to trying new experiences, had decreased anxiety, and were less sensitive to others perception.”
Less Stress
Research shows that practitioners of BDSM enter an altered state of consciousness similar to meditation, yoga, or “runner’s high.” These types of activities lessen the stress hormone cortisol, which protects against high blood pressure, suppressed immunity, and insulin resistance.
Better Cognitive Function
Pain reduces function in the limbic and prefrontal areas of the brain, which affects working memory and executive control. Researchers found that during BDSM sessions, blood flow to these areas were reduced, resulting in an altered state of consciousness. Those in the BDSM community call this “subspace” for submissives, and “topspace” or “flow” for dominants. Kinksters consider it both an enjoyable experience, and a spiritual one.
Improved Relationships
Researchers looking into couple bonding in BDSM found that participating in successful sadomasochistic scenes increases the feelings of connectedness and intimacy for partners. It also releases dopamine, which is the feel good hormone you experience when first falling in love. This because of the novelty and excitement BDSM can bring to a relationship, which is similar to having a thrilling adventure together!

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Check out more about the health benefits of BDSM.

Man With World’s Largest Dick Goes Viral With New Song

Jonah Falcon, the man famous for having the world’s largest dick, is letting it all hang out in his new music video. The 42-year-old with a 9-inch cock (13.5 inches hard!) has already made several documentaries about his member—and has even given advice to well-endowed actor, John Hamm, about how to deal with the attention—and now he’s singing about it. “It’s Too Big” is all about what it’s like to live with a wine-bottle sized dick.

Since its release, the dancey pop song about “the biggest [dick] in history” quickly went viral. And Falcon seems to love the attention: in the video, he wears biker shorts to showcase his giant dick. In everyday life, he says he likes to show off his dick “wearing tight jean shorts, and it would go halfway down my pant leg.” He’s used to people asking him to see his stuff, and he’s usually comfortable just to “whip it out.” And his dick is definitely impressive: “When I’m fully, fully hard, I’m longer than my forearm and bigger than my wrist,” Falcon boasts. Wow, “it’s too big” is no exaggeration!

Looking to get some sexual attention yourself? Come show off your goods right here!

Check out more about the man with the world’s largest dick here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/05/06/it-s-too-big-meet-jonah-falcon-the-man-with-the-world-s-largest-penis.html

Morrissey Wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award

It’s that time of year again when the British magazine Literary Review nominates all the worst sex scenes “to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them.” For the past 23 years, some of the best writers have won the famously humiliating award, including John Updike, Norman Mailer, and Tom Wolfe (who won the Bad Sex in Fiction lifetime achievement award!). And this year, Morrissey can count himself among those prestigious, embarrassed winners.

Morrissey wasn’t the only big name among this year’s nominees: Erica Jong, Richard Bausch, Lauren Groff, George Pelecanos, and Thomas Espedal were all shortlisted (read their excerpts below). But when Morrissey’s book List of the Lost came out a few months ago, it was immediately mocked for its truly awful sexual descriptions, with many critics predicting he’d be a shoo-in for the Bad Sex award. Here’s one scene: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation …with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.” Literary Review tweeted this at the awards: “In an ideal world this award would be received by Morrissey. Or someone who publishes Morrissey. Or someone who likes Morrissey.” #BadSex

Ouch! In the mood for some howling, frenzied, snowballing fun? We love bulbous salutations!

Check out more excerpts of Bad Sex in Fiction nominees here: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/nov/18/bad-sex-award-2015-the-contenders-in-quotes

Japanese Museum Displays Centuries-Old Controversial Erotic Art

Despite Japan’s eclectic and hugely popular porn industry, many of its citizens are still prudes when it comes to the country’s rich history with erotic art, or shunga. 133 centuries-old original shunga prints, which mix graphic depictions of sex with visual humor, were rejected by 10 museums before finally finding a home at a little gallery. The woodblock prints are definitely shocking: they are of couples, and groups, in the midst of sexual ecstasy, though they’re often depicted in humorous and satirical ways. Voyeurism and orgies are recurring themes in the art, with women and men in various contorted sexual positions, their kimonos loosened or discarded.

Created in the 17th century and eventually banned for being “obscene,” the works depict all manner of sexual escapades taking place in brothels, teahouses, inns, and even Buddhist temples. But most shocking is not the images themselves (the most famous one called “the Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife,” which depicts a woman being pleasured by two octopuses), but that so many Japanese who love porn and manga wouldn’t want to see what’s being billed as “the original shunga.” Thankfully, not everyone is so prudish: over 9,000 people have gone to see the erotic works. The museum director said, “I hope they will feel a sense of discovery and re-connection with something important that has been missing from the way the cultural history of Japan has been presented until now.”

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Check out more about Japan’s centuries-old erotic art here.

Coffin Company Promotes Its Product with Topless Calendar

A Polish casket company has a somewhat unconventional approach to selling its product—instead of tasteful images of coffins, it features sexy topless women promising your loved one a very good time in the afterlife! The company’s business plan: to feature top-of-the-line caskets with top-of-the-line tits and ass. While it’s controversial to sex up death, this company is pure class when it comes to its caskets with scantily clad ladies draped over them.

This year’s theme is retro, so the sexy girls wrapped in furs and lace can really help the recently deceased go out in style. “We enjoy showing our beautiful coffins, and what better way than including beautiful girls?” company owner Zbigniew Lindner said in a statement. The naked calendar also suggests that your dearly departed will get a whole lot more than just a beautiful casket to rest in peace in! Poland’s Catholic church is justifiably outraged, saying that “human death should not be mixed with sex,” but we wonder whether your frisky Uncle Bob wouldn’t want these ladies to get him even more “stiff” than he already is!

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Check out more about a Polish casket company’s topless calendar.