Category: LOL!

Sex Club Hosts Digital Orgy With 100 Horny Masked Members

Infamous sex club Killing Kittens isn’t letting the coronavirus lockdown from getting in the way of its orgies. The exclusive group is hosting its first-ever digital orgy on Zoom, complete with burlesque and fire dancers. 100 masked members on 55 separate computers will be in attendance for all the naughty virtual shenanigans.

“It’s a two-hour virtual house party,” Killing Kittens founder and “sex entrepreneur” says. “Obviously, there’s not an actual orgy in place, but it’s adult, there will be a lot of nakedness and lingerie on display and people challenging each other to do certain things with each other.” The virtual aspect is especially appealing to the voyeurs in the group, who are thrilled by the new experience to watch. “We will amuse people at home, plus they will have the opportunity to see other people and chat and have that kind of party experience in their own house and the community experience,” the founder says.

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Check out more about Killing Kittens’ digital orgy: https://nypost.com/2020/03/27/sex-club-hosts-digital-orgy-on-zoom-with-100-horny-masked-members/

NYC Declares War On ‘Rim Jobs’

NYC’s Department of Health is bending over backwards to warn the public about a particular sex act — “rim jobs.” The city’s health agency issued graphic guidelines for safe sex practices during the coronavirus pandemic, and licking ass was high up on their list in the public safety alert. Yes, the city specifically called out rimming—or using the tongue on the anal rim of another person for sexual pleasure—as particularly dangerous.

“Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth,” the city warned in the section titled, “Take care during sex.” Obviously, Twitter noticed the backdoor warning: “Stay at least six feet from other people, and be sure not to lick anyone’s anus,” one person wrote. “Day 13 of quarantine: my parents read the NYC coronavirus sex guidelines and are now discussing rimming at the dinner table. Need evacuation ASAP,” another person wrote.

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Check out more about NYC issuing a warning about rimming during coronavirus: https://nypost.com/2020/03/24/nyc-declares-war-on-rim-jobs-in-graphic-health-department-memo/

Men Can Smell When A Woman Is Horny, Study Says

Men can smell when a woman is turned on by the aroma of her sweat — and they like it, according to a new study. Researchers asked men to rate women’s aromas during various states of arousal to determine the sexiest scent. During experiments they had the women work out then watch porn or read “Fifty Shades of Grey” before swabbing their sweat for testing.

The results — published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior — found that men were definitely more attracted to the aroused women in all three trials. “This research suggests that these signals released along with corresponding visual and auditory expressions of sexual interest can produce a stronger overall signal that increases sexual motivation,” one of the researchers said. “Sexual interest may entail more than meets the eye and we hope that the current findings encourage further research to examine the role of sexual olfactory signals in human communication.”

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Check out more about a study showing men can smell when a woman is horny: https://nypost.com/2020/03/03/men-can-smell-when-a-woman-is-turned-on-study-says/

Fox News Analyst Accidentally Shares “Sexy Vixen Vinyl” Screenshot

Fox News senior political analyst Brit Hume made a naughty mistake when he shared a screenshot while attempting to show the most recent betting odds on the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. While he was admiring Biden’s surge on Super Tuesday, he had also been looking up some “sexy vixen vinyl.” The website appears to be from a place to buy a “sexy vixen vinyl set” for $15.37.

The tweet has been deleted—but not before thousands of people saw it and began mocking his inability to crop out his browser tabs. One Twitter user said, “I did not have ‘Brit Hume Sexy Vixen Vinyl’ on my bingo card. Also, good morning.” Another person tweeted, “Zoom in to the tabs if you’d like to see who Brit Hume really favors in 2020.” Here’s hoping he finally pulls the trigger on that purchase soon!

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Here’s more about a Fox News analyst accidentally sharing an X-rated screenshot: https://www.dailydot.com/debug/brit-hume-screenshot-sexy-vixen-vinyl/

Let The Virginians Fuck

Virginia delegate Mark Levine is back at it again, trying to repeal an existing state law that made consensual sex with an unmarried person illegal. The punishment for the crime of fornication is a $250 fine, charged to both parties, and Levine believes it time to (finally) repeal it. “We should not have laws that make most of the population into criminals,” he said.

Virginia isn’t the only state with archaic anti-fornication laws—in Idaho, fornicators can serve up to six months in prison if found guilty. In North Carolina, fornication or cohabitation with a member of the opposite sex is considered a class two felony, with six days in prison and a $1000 fine. Our hats off to Levine, who’s got a real hard-on for justice!

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Check out more about a politician trying to let Virginians fuck: https://theslot.jezebel.com/let-the-virginians-fuck-1841632266

Porn Star Gets Smacked By A Monkey

wtf-1780728_640While the above headline might sound like the title of a porn video, it’s actually what happened to a porn star in Bali. A porn star who wanted to take a selfie got more than he bargained for when an angry monkey smacked him. Woody Fox shared a short clip of his animal encounter on Twitter, saying that it happened while he was on vacation in Bali.

The Australian is seen smiling in the video and positioning himself to get the perfect angle while the monkey snacks on some bread next to him. But when Woody smiles and makes eye contact, the monkey gets spooked and lashes out, knocking his selfie perch away. Sharing the clip with his 95,500 followers, he wrote: “Porn star @TheOnlyWoodyFox looses face in Bali monkey attack.” Well, that’s one way to get smacked by a monkey…

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Check out more about a porn star getting smacked by a monkey: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8070255/Porn-star-gets-smacked-monkey-tries-selfie-angry-animal-Bali.html

Royal Family’s Website Accidentally Links To Porn Instead Of Charity

wtf-1780728_640The Royal Family was left red-faced when they learned their official website appears to have inadvertently sent users to porn instead of a charity. A link on the British family’s site, royal.uk, was intended to highlight a charity known as Dolen Cymru, a Welsh organization focused on aiding the southern African Kingdom of Lesotho. But the charity just so happens to share its name with a Chinese porn site.

“We enrich communities, link by link,” a description of the charity ironically states. Users who followed the link were met with advertisements for everything, from “rape incest porn” to “live sex shows.” Worst of all, the site does not use age-verifying filters, meaning the content could be viewed by anyone who clicked. Buckingham Palace, as well as the charity, was notified of the issue, which led the site’s admin to remove the incorrect link.

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Check out more about the Royal Family’s website accidentally linking to porn instead of a charity: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/royal-family-website-porn-charity

West Point Cadet Crowdfunds Porn Star To Be His Date

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-12-35-03-amA West Point Academy cadet tried to crowdfund money so that he could pay for flights and accommodation for his favorite porn star to attend the academy’s winter banquet as his date. He raised close to $400 on Gofundme before abruptly shutting down the page. He said that he had been given ‘advice’ from others who were ranked higher that it may be best to ‘protect the values of the West Point Academy.’

When asked by a 2008 graduate who tried to donate to his Gofundme page what had happened, the military student explained that ‘Some cadets and officers were discomforted by the effort to bring Diamond Foxxx to YWW.’ The elite cadet kept himself anonymous because he’s job searching and fears a Google search might show his name along with ‘West Point’ and ‘porn star.’ He had billed the campaign as making ‘a young boy’s dream come true.’

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Check out more about a West Point cadet trying to crowdfund a porn star to be his date: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7889099/West-Point-cadet-crowdfunds-porn-stars-flight-lodging-escort-banquet.html

SNL Spoofs Pizza Delivery Porn

cup-1010916_1920You don’t have to be a fan of porn to know that pizza delivery guys are a thing. They show up and they’ve got the pizza but their co-stars have no money—so they trade sex for pizza, naturally. SNL took the classic porn plot to the next level recently when the boss of “Big Willy’s Pizza” wants to know why his smokin’ hot employee never gets paid.

“Every time you go on a delivery you’re gone for like an hour and then you need a nap. And you haven’t brought back a damn dime yet,” the boss says to the hunky pizza driver. In the middle of firing him, the boss answers the phone: “Big Willy’s Pizza, we come where you want. What? You want an extra meat sub for your bachelorette party?” But soon, the boss figures out what’s going on: “Sorry, lady. We don’t have any more extra long salami, he’s been fired. But can I interest you in a medium-sized…hello?”

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Check out more about SNL’s pizza delivery porn spoof: https://mashable.com/video/snl-jj-watt-pizza-delivery-porn-sketch/

Reddit Shares What Happens In Real-Life Sex That Is Never Seen In Porn

just4pleasureArt doesn’t always imitate life—especially porn. Let’s be honest, porn isn’t exactly known for always showing a realistic depiction of sex. Here’s how Reddit users answered the question, “What happens in real-life sex that you never see in porn?”

  1. “Having to take a drink because their mouth gets dry during a blowjob.”
    We’re only human!
  2. “Stopping during oral to remove a pube from their tongue.”
    It’s been known to happen…
  3. “Temporarily losing an erection while moving between positions.”
    Newton’s law: what goes up must come down.
  4. “Accidentally head-butting or elbowing.”
    Enter at your own risk…
  5. “Leg cramping up, farting, and giggling.”
    Happens to the best of us!
  6. “Pets watching and/or jumping on the bed to check out what’s going on.”
    Fido, down!
  7. “Waddling to the toilet before anything drips out of the body.”
    Ah, yes—the after-sex waddle.
  8. “Arguing over who sleeps on the wet spot afterwards.”
    Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

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Check out more about what happens in real-life sex that never happens in porn: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ajanibazile/things-that-dont-happen-in-porn