Category: LOL!

Cult Expert Mistakes Fetish Porn For ‘Highly Sophisticated Mind Control’

Dr. Steven Hassan, author of The Cult of Trump and specialist in the intervention and rescue of people ensnared by cults, needed to be schooled about sissy hypnosis porn. Hassan seems to think it’s a genuine attempt at brainwashing people, which fetishists found hilarious. In response to a tweet announcing that Pornhub is removing unverified content from its site, Hassan said: “I hope they are deleting all hypnosis videos. I watched two videos to convince people they were another gender. What I saw was highly sophisticated mind control.”

The genre of erotic hypnosis Hassan is talking about is known as sissification, a fetish that usually involves cis men being “forced” in a number of different ways—blackmail, hypnosis, kidnapping fantasies—to dress and behave like highly sexed caricatures of women. Most people familiar with sissy porn responded to Hassan’s tweet with humor: “Buddy this is main,” one Twitter user jokingly reminded him. Another said, “I’m curious if these were my videos, sir. If so, do you have any tips for my viewership on how they can escape my evil clutches?”

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Check out more about a cult expert confusing fetish porn with mind control: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/steven-hassan-sissy-hypno-porn-mind-control/

‘Bad Sex In Fiction’ Award Canceled For 2020

The judges of the annual Bad Sex in Fiction award decided to spare readers this year from the usual cringeworthy passages. It seems fictional bad sex is just too much for folks to handle in the hellish coronavirus pandemic-stricken year of 2020. The judges of the annual prize “felt that the public had been subjected to too many bad things this year to justify exposing it to bad sex as well,” the magazine said.

“With lockdown regulations giving rise to all manner of novel sexual practices, the judges anticipate a rash of entries next year. Authors are reminded that cybersex and other forms of home entertainment fall within the purview of this award,” a spokesperson for the judges said in a statement. “Scenes set in fields, parks or back yards, or indoors with the windows open and fewer than six people present will not be exempt from scrutiny either,” the spokesperson added. Since 1993, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award has honored the year’s “most outstandingly awful scene of sexual description in an otherwise good novel”—past winners include Tom Wolfe and Morrissey.

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Check out more about the Bad Sex in Fiction award getting canceled for 2020: https://nypost.com/2020/12/08/no-bad-sex-in-fiction-award-in-2020/

Porn Bots Are Taking Over Film Social Networking Website

It seems cinephiles have some new friends on the film social networking website Letterboxd: porn bots. Yes, Letterboxd—the social networking platform that allows users to review and keep track of films they’ve seen—has been taken over by porn bots. Users immediately took to Twitter to show screenshots of the porn bot activity they’ve witnessed firsthand.

“Lol the porn-bots have infiltrated Letterboxd,” one user wrote, with a screenshot of a woman in skimpy lingerie. Another user said, “Lmao now there are porn bots on Letterboxd liking my review of Sleepless in Seattle.” It seems porn bots also gave Parasite a 5-star review, and liked another user’s review of Borat 2. Porn is art!

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Check out more about porn bots taking over Letterboxd: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/porn-bots-letterboxd/

Sex Shop “Booms” After Rudy Giuliani Parking Lot Election Conference

The owner of a sex shop next to Four Seasons Landscaping could not be happier about the now infamous Trump campaign press conference. After the botched event with Rudy Giuliani, the owner of Fantasy Island Adult Books says he doesn’t know if they’ll ever “trend like this again.” He never could have afforded the advertising his business has received since the press conference.

Giuliani and the Trump campaign staged their event at the Four Seasons Landscaping company, mistakenly thinking it would be held at the Four Seasons hotel. The sex shop owner says both Democrats and Republicans who attended the press conference visited his store after. “What are the odds, you know? Donald Trump starts out playing around with Stormy Daniels and, next thing you know, one of his final hurrahs is going to be down the street from an adult bookstore that’s been there for 40 years,” he said. “You can’t write this stuff.”

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Check out more about a sex shop booming after the Trump press conference: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8933973/Sex-shop-Four-Seasons-Landscaping-says-business-booming.html

Sexy Mail-In Ballot Is The Weirdly Hot Halloween Costume Of 2020

Yandy, one of the best purveyors of sexy Halloween costumes, continues to bring it with this year’s hot and hilarious selections. If last year’s controversial “Sexy Handmaid” costume was a miss, this year is definitely a hit with “Sexy Mail-In Ballot.” As a Washington Post reporter tweeted, even election security can be sexy.

The company also has a line of COVID-themed costumes, including “Sexy Hand Sanitizer” and “Sexy Quarantine Banana Bread.” Other culturally relevant costumes include a sexy TikTok ban (dubbed the “Sexy Banned App” to avoid copyright issues). Yandy once again proves that taking an otherwise innocuous costume idea and sexualizing it for Halloween is an art form.

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Check out more about Yandy’s sexy Halloween costumes: https://mashable.com/article/yandy-specific-sexy-halloween-costumes/

John Legend Crashed Video Call Dates To Sing About Twerking

Dating during a pandemic is tough, so John Legend tried to set the mood for new couples. While guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live, the singer crashed several socially distanced video dates to offer impromptu serenades. Some couples were treated to a performance of Legend’s romantic song “Conversations in the Dark,” while others got an improvised tune that was, well, a little racier.

Legend based his songs on the couple’s conversation, resulting in lyrics such as “Welcome to Atlanta / You can twerk your life away.” One person said, “If it goes further we’re gonna have to have you sing at our ceremony.” “I’m available for weddings,” responded Legend. “But I will say, I’m very expensive.”

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Check out more about John Legend crashing video call dates to sing about twerking: https://mashable.com/video/john-legend-jimmy-kimmel-dating-coronavirus/

Raunchy NYC Apartment Listing Goes Viral

A racy market listing for an NYC apartment let renters know exactly what could be done within the walls—and the sheets. “HIDE & SEEK (adult style),” the kinky description read. “A sexy king-size one bedroom where you’ll find four very large closets in which you can hide from your very, naughty playmate.”

The listing continues, “And should you be lucky enough to be found, the two of you can retreat to the king-size bedroom where you both can romp & play, all night.” The listing then suggests what can happen if renters want an orgy: “invite many more dutty guests to partake in communal games, held in your stadium-sized living room.” On Reddit, viewers commented, “COVID making agents thirsty as fuck” and “Some niche marketing right there.”

Feeling thirsty? Let’s play at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about a horny NYC apartment listing: https://nypost.com/2020/08/12/nyc-apartment-listing-with-absurd-raunchy-description-goes-viral/

Women Share The Most Surprising Things They Didn’t Realize About Dicks

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the internet recently: “Women, what surprised you the most the first time you saw or played with a penis?” The answers didn’t disappoint. Here are some of the funniest, strangest, and just plain true things people didn’t realize about dicks until they saw one, ahem, in the flesh.

  1. “BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting.”
    Yes!
  2. “How squishy it is flaccid.”
    Fun to play with!
  3. “The texture! When they said ‘hard’ I didn’t know what to expect….”
    Now you know!
  4. “What struck me the most was that it’s just there, dangling away, all day, every day, just hanging out with its ball buddies. Like how do you not sit on it? Is it not constantly annoying you? Is the satisfaction of unsticking it from your thighs worth the discomfort of it sticking in the first place?”
    LOL!
  5. “[I thought] it had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it.”
    Hmm, OK…
  6. “I expected the penis, but I didn’t expect the balls to be so…there.”
    They are indeed!
  7. “That it sort of floated in a bath…I didn’t expect that.”
    Like a rubber ducky!
  8. “It can jump on its own.”
    It has a mind of its own!
  9. “The veins!”
    Yup.

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Check out more women’s reactions to seeing a dick for the first time: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/women-share-surprising-things-about-penises-reddit

Trump Retweeted Clips Of A Doctor Who Believes In Sex Demons

President Trump and his son both shared a viral video of Dr. Stella Immanuel, who claims some medical conditions are caused by having sex with demons and witches. Immanuel, a pediatrician and a religious minister, has a history of making bizarre claims about medical topics and other issues. She has often claimed that gynecological problems like cysts and endometriosis are actually caused by people having sex in their dreams with demons and witches.

Immanuel claims that medical issues like endometriosis, cysts, infertility, and impotence are caused by sex with “spirit husbands” and “spirit wives”—a phenomenon Immanuel describes essentially as witches and demons having sex with people in a dreamworld. “They turn into a woman and then they sleep with the man and collect his sperm,” Immanuel said in her sermon. “Then they turn into the man and they sleep with a man and deposit the sperm and reproduce more of themselves.” According to Immanuel, people can tell if they have taken a demonic spirit husband or spirit wife if they have a sex dream about someone they know or a celebrity, wake up aroused, stop getting along with their real-world spouse, lose money, or generally experience any hardship.

Want to have a good sexual experience? The only demons and witches here at NiteFlirt are the kinky kind!

Check out more about Trump retweeting a doctor who believes in sex demons: https://www.thedailybeast.com/stella-immanuel-trumps-new-covid-doctor-believes-in-alien-dna-demon-sperm-and-hydroxychloroquine

NYC Metro Station Websites Feature X-Rated Search Results

New York City’s Metro-North’s Hudson line is known for its stunning views—but nothing like this. Google searches for at least 15 Metro-North Stations produce official MTA websites with “Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut” tacked onto the title. The list of stations now posing as porn clips includes 14 along the Hudson line, along with the Harlem line.

An MTA rep blamed Google for the glitch: “This is offensive and inappropriate language that is being generated by a Google search algorithm.” The spokesman added in the statement, “There is no issue with the MTA’s website. We reached out to Google yesterday to ask them to fix this immediately. Google needs to fix this now.” A Google rep explained that the company’s search engine algorithm fills in web page titles with words from other pages that link to it—though typically censors explicit content.

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Check out more about NYC Metro’s websites featuring porn: https://nypost.com/2020/07/27/mta-websites-for-metro-north-stations-feature-x-rated-searches/