Category: LOL!

Banned Sex Doll Race Is ‘Blowing Up’ In Russia

Screen Capture: RUPTLY TV

Russians had something a little more, ahem, adult planned for this year’s river race. Let’s just say their flotation devices came with some extras: tits and ass. Dozens of Russians braved the Vuoksa River for the long-running Bubble Baba Challenge in Leningrad—with blow-up dolls in tow.

But that wasn’t the only naughty thing about the race—it was banned due to the rough rapids on the river. It seems the sex-dolls gave the competitors a real leg up, with people saying it was a “highlight of the summer.” Whatever floats your boat!

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Check out more about a banned sex doll river race in Russia: https://nypost.com/video/banned-sex-doll-race-is-blowing-up-in-russia/

New Mexico Mayoral Candidate Interrupted By Flying Sex Toy

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… a flying dildo! A New Mexico mayoral candidate got rudely interrupted during his speech by a flying drone with a sex toy attached to it. A video posted on Facebook shows the candidate answering questions from an audience of some 70 people, when the airborne cock started buzzing near the stage.

“Is that a dick on a drone?” a woman is heard saying off camera, sparking laughter. The candidate then remarks, “we have a gentleman over here who I guess is trying to be cute.” When asked about the XXX spectacle afterward, he said, “It became so distracting from the sound and everything I couldn’t really get my point across.”

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Check out more about a New Mexico mayoral candidate getting interrupted during his speech by a flying sex toy: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9646587/Candidate-punched-interrupted-sex-toy-drone-event.html

Daniel Kaluuya Embarrassing His Mom With Sex Joke Becomes Oscar Meme

Daniel Kaluuya got a little too candid in his Oscar’s acceptance speech. Kaluuya’s speech started normally, with him offering thanks to God, his family, and the team behind Judas and the Black Messiah—but ended with an impromptu reference to his parents fucking. “It’s incredible,” he said. “My mum, my dad, they had sex.”

Then the camera cut to his mother in the audience, staring in disbelief while his sister put her head in her hands. Kaluuya’s mother provided such a pitch-perfect reaction shot that she has since become a meme. He later laughed it off, saying “I’m gonna avoid my phone for a bit, mate. I think my mother’s not gonna be very happy… but she’s got a sense of humor, we give it to each other, so it’s cool.”

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Check out more about Daniel Kaluuya’s sex joke during the Oscars: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/daniel-kaluuya-oscars-sex-joke-mom-meme/

German Police Discover ‘Grenade’ Is Actually A Dildo

A German bomb squad got an X-rated surprise recently when investigating a suspected hand grenade. Authorities said a woman had reported finding a transparent bag containing the device a day earlier while on a jog in a forest. When the squad arrived and checked out the contents of the bag, they discovered the hand-grenade shaped rubber sex toy inside.

The bag also contained condoms and lube, which helped inform the squad about the device’s intended use. “An internet search confirmed the suspicion,” police said. “There are actually toys in the form of hand grenades.” Talk about a sex bomb!

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Check out more about German police mistaking a dildo for a grenade: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9516839/Sex-bomb-German-police-discover-grenade-actually-dildo-designed-look-like-explosive.html

Kim Kardashian Gets ‘Orgasm’ Candle And Vibrator From Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow knows what Kim Kardashian really needs after her recent divorce from Kayne West. Gwyneth sent her a XXX post-split survival guide from Goop, labeled “Kim’s box of tricks.” The racy box contained a double-sided vibrator, “sex gel,” and erotic massage oil.

Gwyneth also included a special gift in the pleasure package: a custom version of Goop’s viral “This Smells Like My Orgasm” candle, called “This Smells Like Kim’s Orgasm.” “I’ve never been more excited honestly … for the candle,” Kardashian said on Instagram. That’s what friends are for!

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Check out more about Gwyneth Paltrow sending Kim Kardashian a sex survival kit: https://pagesix.com/2021/03/29/kim-kardashian-gets-custom-orgasm-candle-from-gwyneth-paltrow/

Anti-Vaxxer Tweeted Fake Doctor’s Quote From A Porn Star

Adult entertainer Johnny Sins is a very good “doctor”—of fucking. He’s so good, in fact, that prominent conspiracy theorist Naomi Wolf tweeted a fake anti-vax quote from “doctor ” Sins. Wolf, who dedicates much of her Twitter feed to retweeting anti-vax and anti-mask propaganda, thought he was a real doctor when she saw him in medical scrubs.

A reporter played a prank on Wolf with a fabricated quote and a photo of Sins—who has appeared in hundreds of films including Creampie Diaries and the Double D-Tention series. “Hello Dr. Wolf, huge fan of your work. Admire your outspokenness,” the reporter wrote. The quote, attributed to “Dr. John Sims, MD,” reads, “If a vaccine is effective, then why do you need to pressure people to take it? Informed consent means letting patients make their own choices”—Wolf took the bait and retweeted it.

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Check out more about an anti-vaxxer retweeting porn star “Dr.” Johnny Sins: https://www.dailydot.com/debug/naomi-wolf-johnny-sins-covid-tweet/

Women Share The Sex Moves They Wish Men Didn’t Copy From Porn

Not everything you see in porn should be reproduced in real life. Women everywhere can attest. Here are 9 things they wish men would stop copying from porn.

  1. “Thinking that we orgasm from two minutes of penetration alone.”
    Life ain’t like the movies, folks!
  2. “If there’s anything we should agree on, it’s the lack of moaning. I really don’t get how men can be so silent, but when they aren’t, it’s the BIGGEST turn on.”
    Yes!
  3. “I really don’t understand the appeal of dick slapping. Help me understand.”
    To each (dick) their own?
  4. “What kind of porn are they watching that makes them think fingering is so aggressive? Take it easy!”
    Less is more.
  5. “Going faster when you tell them something feels good/you’re gonna cum. Pro tip: Don’t change a goddamn thing. Keep up the same pace.”
    Preach!
  6. “Asking what’s the biggest dick I’ve ever had. Why do you care? This ain’t a dick-measuring contest.”
    So true.
  7. “Spitting on genitals. Just DON’T. Or at least don’t without asking.”
    This should be a PSA…
  8. “Pulling my hair like the friggin’ reins on an irritable horse kills the mood for me. When you yank my head back like you’re about to waterboard me, I won’t enjoy anything after and you’ll owe me a chiropractor for a month.”
    Watch the neck, guys!
  9. “Calling someone a ‘whore’ or a ‘bitch’ without checking if they’re into it.”
    Just rude. 

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Check out more about what women don’t want men to copy from porn: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/sex-moves-men-copy-porn

TikTok Audio Trend Attempts To Catch People Who Watch Porn

A hilarious TikTok video showing a guy who’s about to watch porn getting interrupted by his mother has gone viral. The video has more than 4 million views, and has inspired an audio trend that porn viewers know well. TikTokers have started using the sound you hear on Pornhub when you visit the site to gauge whether friends and family would recognize it.

The trend has taken off, with users potentially learning something about their parents, kids, and significant others. The person who started the trend was inspired by the viral video of a mom walking in on her son watching Pornhub, and asked a friend to make the mashup sound for his video. He said he “never” expected the audio to go viral.

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Check out more about a TikTok audio trend attempting to catch people who watch porn: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/tiktok-pornhub-intro-music-hey-lol/

8 Hilarious And Bawdy Tweets About Sex

Having a rough week? We have something to cheer you up—and it’s almost as good as sex. Here are 8 hilarious tweets about sex:

  1. “My favorite sex position is when someone makes a playlist for me.”
    I put my thang down flip it and reverse it!
  2. “When vegans have sex they ask to be artichoked.”
    Delicious BDSM!
  3. “pee after sex or you will get a tgi friday’s”
    And not the kind with a salad bar…
  4. “pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.”
    Good to know!
  5. “british people be having sex like: mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving.”
    Cheeky!
  6. “men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape.. you mean a tik tok bro?”
    Burn!
  7. “During lovemaking you ask your gf to put her finger in your butt. She does & when she pulls it out there’s an engagement ring on it.”
    True romance!
  8. “I dead ass ate pineapples for a month and this boy told me my pussy tasted like cheetos sooo y’all lying out here.”
    Who doesn’t like Cheetos?

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Check out more funny tweets about sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanschocket2/sex-tweets-2021

BBC Guest Goes Viral Due To Sex Toy On Bookshelf

A BBC guest went viral after an X-rated object was spotted on her bookshelf. The woman was being interviewed along with other residents to talk about their experience of finding work during the pandemic—but all viewers could pay attention to was the huge dildo on the bookshelf behind her. The clip featuring the woman and her sex toy has gone viral after it was posted to Twitter with many users finding the misplaced object hilarious.

The dildo can be seen placed on the top shelf of a bookcase alongside board games and books. One social media user quipped: “This is the news at ten….dong,” while another joked: “What category of book does that fall under then?” Twitter users were quick to praise the woman—with one suggesting she should be made a dame

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Check out more about a BBC guest who went viral after viewers spotted a giant dildo on her bookshelf: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9198327/BBC-Wales-guests-mother-says-no-idea-X-rated-object-daughters-bookshelf.html