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Subway’s Accidental BDSM Tweet

Subway’s been very very naughty on Twitter. The fast-food chain recently posted a tweet that many people believe implied BDSM. “In 2017 we subbed, we loved, and we sub-loved. All in all, pretty good year,” the tweet says.

With the words “sub-love,” people on Twitter immediately picked up on the tweet’s sexual undertones. As one person asked, “how many times do you receive dom jokes per day and do they ever get tiring?” Another person said, “as a subber, thank you so much.” Subway replied to the tweets as if the company had no idea what people were talking about—or else maybe it’s all part of the sub-dom play!

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Check out more about Subway’s accidental BDSM tweet: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/subway-sub-tweet/

‘May The Force Be In You’: The ‘Star Wars’ Gay Porn Parody

Courtesy of woodrocket.com — Image Credit: Woodrocket.com

A long time ago in a gaylaxy far, far away…there was a Star Wars gay porn parody! Men.com just released the trailer for their latest XXX film, “May The Force Be In You,” which is definitely as exciting as you’d expect. In the exclusive trailer (watch below), Luke Skywalker (Luke Adams) starts things off with a Stormtrooper gangbang session!

Another out-of-this-world sex scene involves Han Solo (Dennis West) getting fucked by none other than Darth Vader. Director Christian Boushey said, “I have spoken to many gay men who love Star Wars and fantasize over the characters and the stories.” He added, “I think the costumes are part of the appeal, particularly the storm troopers and Darth Vader because of the anonymity factor. I also think that the mentoring relationships between the master and the apprentice have a queer appeal.” May the force be in you!

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Check out more about the Star Wars gay porn parody: https://thegailygrind.com/2015/12/17/star-wars-gay-porn-parody/

There’s Now A ‘Hamilton’ Porn Parody

America’s forefathers have never been raunchier than in the new porn parody of the hit Broadway musical “Hamilton.” WoodRocket has just released “Hamiltoe,” the sex-enhanced story of one of our nation’s greatest “pounding fathers.” Adult film star Tommy Pistol takes Lin-Manuel Miranda’s place as Alexander Hamiltoe.

The X-rated pornsical takes place in 1769, when our hero Hamiltoe invents the threesome, with the help of the two “Fister Sisters.” Other pounding fathers include Cumas Jefferson, James Madickson, and Aaron Bonerr, who eventually squares off with a very horny Hamilton in a “penis duel.” We guarantee historical musicals have never been more entertaining—or filthy—as Hamiltoe!

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Check out the trailer for “Hamiltoe”: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hamilton-porn-parody_us_5a2ae505e4b073789f698892

The Craziest Things Women Put In Their Pussies Last Year

It seems that every year vaginal trends get even weirder. From glitter capsules to cucumber cleanses, there are some truly bizarre products for the pussy out there. Here are the craziest things women put in their pussies in 2017.

Wasp nests
Actual insect nests were ground into a paste and sold on Etsy to “heal episiotomy cuts, rejuvenate the uterine wall and clean out the vagina.” The listing has since been deleted because, you know, wasp nests are not meant to be put into vaginas.
Cucumber cleanse
These were meant to “help sanitize and maintain a pleasant odor.” Hot tip: it doesn’t work.
Vicks VapoRub
Some claim it’s both a “cleaner” and a sex-booster. Good luck with that!
Lipstick glue
The man who invented it says it helps clean the “self-cleaning shower drain” also known as the pussy. Any man who refers to a woman’s pussy as a “drain” should not be selling vaginal products, just FYI.
Glitter
Passion Dust Intimacy Capsules dissolve when placed in the vagina and release “sparkling candy-flavored passion dust.” Despite going viral, these glitter capsules are not doctor-approved or safe to insert inside your pussy.

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Check out more of the weirdest things women put in their pussies in 2017: https://nypost.com/2017/12/29/the-craziest-things-women-did-to-their-vaginas-this-year/

Enormous Penis Pops Up In NYC

There’s a new member of the New York City street-art scene: a gigantic life-like dick! The painting went up on the side of a Lower East Side building, four-stories erect. Swedish street artist Carolina Falkholt took credit on Instagram for the colorful and veiny behemoth, which obviously took major cajones.

“NO TIME 4 BALL$$ . . . I have never heard so much laughter and seen so many happy faces behind my back when painting as for today doing this wall on Broome Street,” the cocky artist wrote alongside a photo of the giant dick. Some people in the neighborhood really love the x-rated artwork, especially a fitness trainer who used it to pump up his business: “If you work out hard, your dick stays hard like that every day,” he said. The artist is no stranger to controversial, adult street-art—she was the talk of the town when she painted a towering pussy onto a Swedish building in 2015.

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Check out more about the enormous penis on the side of a NYC building: https://nypost.com/2017/12/27/enormous-penis-pops-up-in-nyc/

7 Wild Stories About Using Food During Sex

BuzzFeed asked readers what their nuttiest experiences have been using food during sex. And as it turns out, food and sex sometimes do not go together like peas and carrots! Here are their best stories.

“I melted a bar of chocolate, to make things more interesting, but I burned my boyfriend.” When good chocolate goes bad.
“He started pouring champagne on me, but it slid down to my crotch, and that shit must have been about 8,217,273 degrees below zero. It had flash-frozen my ‘little girl.'” No sex in the champagne room…
“He handcuffed me to the bed, blindfolded me, and went to work with ice and whipped cream. But the ice slipped right inside me. I started screaming, and my guy desperately tried to set me free, but of course, he couldn’t find the fucking key for the cuffs! Finally, he decided to try to, uh, suck the ice out — and it worked!” Very resourceful!
“We were staying in and eating sandwiches. I focused on watching the TV. Suddenly, he started eating me out, and while I was still chowing down on a sandwich — fully loaded with cheese, tomato, turkey breast. I felt like Scooby-Doo.” Satisfying and delicious!
“I’ve never used food during sex, but this once, I was right on the brink of climax when he shoved a chocolate in my mouth.” Double your pleasure?
“I’ve eaten strawberry yogurt while using a guy’s dick as a spoon.” That’s one way to do it!
“He decided to dip strawberries into sweetened condensed milk and feed them to me. The milk dripped all over my body, and he licked it off. Sounds sexy, right? But, by the end, I looked like the floor of a nightclub, sticky and gross.” Sometimes sticky is not sexy.

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Check out more wild sex stories involving food: https://www.buzzfeed.com/victornascimento/15-stories-from-people-who-came-up-with-the-idea-o

8 Dirty Tweets From 2017 That You’ll Still Be Laughing At In 2018

It was a good year for raunchy tweets. That’s why we found some that were so funny you can still enjoy them next year! Here are 8 dirty tweets that you’ll still remember come (pun intended) 2018.

“My mum asked if I had anything to suck on during the flight; apparently ‘idk what does the pilot look like’ wasn’t an acceptable answer.” Sorry, ma—trying to join the Mile High Club!
“‘No sex before marriage.’
‘Say it after me.’” Exactly.
“*reads motivational makeup bag: ‘If at first you don’t succeed fix your ponytail and try again.’
Is this about sucking dick?” Obviously. And it’s good advice, too!
“You know the pussy good when you pull yo dick out, and it sound like you refreshing yo TL.” Mmm, nothing more refreshing and delicious!
“Every time u yawn in October, a ghost put his dick in ur mouth.” OMG! Yes!
“reading sexts you sent when ur not horny anymore and u can’t believe those things went thru ur head.” It’s true…
“‘did you cum?’
‘yeah to my senses, get out of my house.’” We’ve all been there.
“@Gordon Ramsay: ‘This I why I love meat…’
@andywarhella: ‘when the pipe got ya legs shakin and ya eyes rollin back in ur head.’” Where’s the beef?

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Check out more raunchy tweets that will keep you laughing in the new year: https://www.buzzfeed.com/genamourbarrett/the-worst-things-to-happen-to-food-in-2017

Viagra Factory In Ireland Turns Men Into Walking Stiffs

An Irish Viagra factory is making it hard for residents to ever leave. Townspeople claim the fumes from the factory which manufactures the erectile dysfunction drug are arousing the local men. “One whiff and you’re stiff,” local bartender Debbie O’Grady said.

Village dwellers have long enjoyed free access to the drug, never having to pay a cent for its “love fumes.” “It’s amazing the number of people who come to this village, perhaps out of curiosity, and then never leave. There’s something in the air,” a townsperson says. Some residents claim there was baby boom after the Viagra factory opened around 1998. Though no one knows for sure whether there is actually “love in the air,” residents have this to say for sure: “We’re just happy.”

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Check out more about the Irish Viagra factory that gives men boners: https://nypost.com/2017/12/04/viagra-factory-is-turning-men-in-this-town-into-walking-stiffs/

Navy Pilots Draw a Giant Penis In The Sky

Look up in the sky—it’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a…giant cock?! Some naval pilots recently took to the skies above Washington state’s Okanogan County to practice sky writing…a giant aerial dick! The people below immediately took to Twitter to express their delight at the celestial cock, while the U.S. Navy didn’t find the stunt quite as entertaining.

In a statement to KREM 2, officials said that: “The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable.” Professional standards aside, we’ve got to give props to those naughty pilots for their impressively well-formed dick! It’s clear the pilots are going to get a strong finger-wag from the Navy, but as one excited Twitter user said, “The most monumental thing to happen in Omak. A penis in the sky.”

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Check out more about navy pilots drawing a giant dick in the sky: https://jezebel.com/the-navy-is-aware-of-the-sky-penis-and-they-are-handli-1820551151

There’s Now a ‘Rick and Morty’ Porno

Is it any surprise the hugely popular sci-fi comedy Rick and Morty got a porn parody? The show just wrapped up its third season on Adult Swim and is now getting the XXX treatment, thanks to porn parody site Wood Rocket. Yes, the site which brought you such classics as SpongeKnob SquareNuts, Ten-Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Strokémon, has now decided to make Dick and Morty.

The studio announced the project with an exciting new trailer and a pretty NSFW description: “When Morty Blows it again, Dick recruits ex-girlfriend Untitty to help him with his pickle,” the press release reads. “In the meantime, Beth eases the pain of her divorce with a little help from the genitals of Mr. Meesex and Birdperson.” As you’d expect, the trailer includes loads of sex puns and X-rated Rick and Morty cathphrases, such as such as “Pickle Dick,” “shlom-shlom,” “testicle-made Szechuan Sauce.” Out of this X-rated world!

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Check out more about Dick and Morty: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/a3kbn4/of-course-theres-a-rick-and-morty-porn-now-vgtrn