Category: LOL!

Truck Spills Sex Toys And Tube All Over Oklahoma Interstate

Talk about “sex drive”… Oklahoma drivers had a slippery commute after a semi-tractor trailer filled with lube and sex toys crashed, spilling its XXX wares all over the highway. Footage from the crash site shows an overturned truck with hundreds of boxes with metal cans and pink labels spilled out onto the highway.

Luckily, no one was injured—but the lubricated road took hours to clean up. Millions of people have watched the video of the absurd sighting in amusement: “Figured out why your package is late,” one person wrote on Twitter. Another added, “What a travesty, I feel for those tens of thousands of women who are waiting impatiently by their door for the carrier to bring them their ‘package.’”

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Check out more about a truck spilling sex toys and lube all over the interstate in Oklahoma: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11219991/Truck-spilled-bunch-sex-toys-highway-near-distribution-center-Oklahoma.html

Company Launches Pussy-Flavored Chips So Millennials Can Get Laid More

Photo via Conceived Brooklyn

A chip company has an exciting new flavor for sex-starved 30-somethings: pussy. “After tasting it, you will remember your wildest love adventures, your first real love, and maybe even lose your oral virginity,” said reps for Chazz, the Lithuania-based creators of the XXX chips. Dubbed “pussy-flavored potato chips,” the kinky creations are meant to inspire millennials to get laid.

“According to several past years research data around the world, millennials are having 3 times less sex than their parents at the same age,” Chazz claimed, adding “It is unbelievable that someone is choosing social media instead of live communication, dating and real sex.” The NSFW chips are apparently not just for sex-deprived millennials. The site says they are also “a great GIFT for the one you love, cause to initiate a romantic evening, or just simple delight for your taste buds and fun chat about sex.”

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Check out more about new pussy-flavored chips: https://nypost.com/2022/09/21/company-launches-vagina-chips-for-sex-starved-millennials/

Military Museum Asks ‘Guests In Love’ To Stop Having Sex While Visiting

It seems seeing a man in uniform is making visitors at a Polish military museum randy. Fort Gerhard, also known as the Eastern Fort Museum, in Świnoujście, Poland, posted a scintillating update to their Facebook page, politely requesting that guests cease fucking among historical displays. It seems the museum captured visitors having sex in the museum on surveillance cameras: “In less than a month since the beginning of the holidays we’ve already had three recordings of lovers engaged in trysts.”

They wrote, “The museum has been equipped with cameras for some time,” adding all footage is watched and you may not want that getting out to the general public. “We understand that unique exhibits and uniformed service can give you chills, EXCITATION and excitement,” they joked, before some light suggestions of where else visitors could, uh, publicly express their appreciation for each other. The post gained national—and international—attention, with people laughing over the unexpected erotic hot spot.

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Check out more about a military museum asking guests to stop having sex while visiting: https://nypost.com/2022/07/28/military-museum-asks-guests-to-stop-having-sex-while-visiting/

Man Sends Hook-Up Texts In A Group Chat To Two Women, Gets Slammed Online

A New York man has been slammed on social media after texting two women for a booty call in the same chat. One of the women shared a screenshot of the shameless exchange in a Facebook dating group, captioning the messages: “Who said chivalry is dead?!” The man started the group chat by asking the two women the same ubiquitous hook-up question: “You up?”

“So you were bootycalling us both?” one of the women asked, noticing a third party in the text. “Omg!!!! Lmao!! What an idiot,” commented one person on the woman’s post. “Not the group chat?!!! Omg screaming,” wrote a third. Others hoped that the two women had been bonded by the experience, with one commenter writing, “Please tell me you are now bffs and have dumped the dude.”

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Check out more about a man sending a hook-up text to two women in a group chat: https://nypost.com/2022/07/15/drunk-new-york-man-sends-hook-up-texts-in-a-group-chat/

Queen Warned About Denmark’s Porn Industry Before Meeting Monarch

It seems the Queen was briefed before her meeting with Denmark’s monarch—about porn. Before she met Margrethe II during the Queen of Denmark’s state visit to the UK in 1974, she was advised not to mention the nation’s “reputation as the pornography capital of Europe.” “Whenever she’s meeting any world leader there’s always two files she studies very closely,” the Royal biographer explained. “One is called ‘personality notes’ and the other ‘topics to be avoided.’ They don’t hold back, either.”

The pornography issue appeared in the “topics to be avoided” file ahead of the meeting with the Queen of Denmark, saying: “Danes are sensitive about Denmark’s reputation as the pornography capital of Europe.” The biographer said, “I think two queens are fairly unlikely to stray into that territory.” In another entry about an unnamed Caribbean prime minister in 1977, he was described as “a ladies’ man with a particular liking for blondes.”

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Check out more about the Queen’s briefing on Denmark’s porn industry before meeting the monarch: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10955149/The-Queen-warned-not-mention-Denmarks-porn-industry-Majesty-met-monarch.html 

Special Trash Cans Talk Dirty To People Who Throw Out Litter

These trash cans are talking dirty to keep the streets clean. A city in Sweden has installed public trash cans with audio that purrs sexy comments of encouragement to folks who deposit their litter. “Oh, right there, yes!” the cans say in a sultry female voice. “Hmmm, yeah…that was crazy good.”

As part of a clean-up campaign, the city programmed its high-tech bins to sense when trash is tossed and give steamy positive feedback. The receptacles also cry out, “Just to the left!” and, “Come back soon and do that again!” “[It’s] a new, humorous way to get across our message,” said the chief of the city’s roads department. “The sentences are part of the campaign’s intention to get more people to talk about the dirtiest thing there is: littering.”

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Check out more about trash cans that talk dirty in Sweden: https://nypost.com/2022/06/10/trash-cans-in-sweden-talk-dirty-to-folks-who-throw-out-litter/

Florida Man Who Was Getting Road Head Crashed Into FedEx Truck

One Florida man had a head-on collision recently—literally. The distracted driver was receiving oral sex when he smashed directly into a FedEx truck in Ft. Lauderdale—injuring his groin, local police said. The unidentified man and his female companion were both found partially naked after the collision.

Images from the crash show the man lying on the ground with his pants around his ankles as officers tend to him. Rescue officials said the driver sustained an unspecified injury to his groin due to the, ahem, circumstances of the crash. Florida man: add vehicular fellatio crash to your long list of strange mishaps…

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Check out more about a Florida man crashing into a truck while getting road head: https://nypost.com/2022/06/03/oral-sex-sends-florida-man-crashing-into-fedex-truck/

TikToker Got A Phone Sex Voicemail Along With Pizza From Delivery Driver

A TikToker shared how a pizza delivery driver called her after the drop-off and left her a sexual voicemail—not only that, but “they didn’t even give me free pizza for it!” In the video, she shares that her pizza was dropped off, and not long after, she noticed a three-minute voicemail from the delivery driver. Thinking that the message was about an issue with payment, she listened, only to hear a long, graphic, sexual message left by the driver. 

The video has garnered over 31,000 views. One commenter said, “I have so many questions. Was it on purpose? Was she flirting?” to which the TikToker replied, “i wish i could answer them. I’m hoping it was an accident.” Another commenter took a different stance, saying, “As a papa johns employee I’m sorry but as a person that’s fucking hilarious.” The TikToker liked the comment.

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Check out more about a TikToker getting a phone sex voicemail from a pizza delivery driver: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/doordash-sexual-voicemail/

TikToker Puts Condom On Leg To Disprove Men’s Excuses For Not Wearing Them

A TikToker has hilariously put men’s lame excuses for not wearing condoms to bed (pun intended!). The TikTok shows a condom being extended over a foot and up to about knee-length, surrounded by mocking phrases like “I’m too big” and “It won’t fit.” The video currently has over 8.1 million views.

The TikToker later cited studies detailing exactly how wrong men claiming to be “too big” for condoms really are. Rather than condoms being too small, research has shown that condoms are often too big for wearers, which can lead to problems. “Fitting and comfortably fitting are two different things,” a user noted. “If they think it doesn’t fit, they’re probably buying the wrong size.”

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Check out more about a TikToker putting a condom on her leg to prove men aren’t “too big” to wear them: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/condom-fits-leg/

‘Don’t Look Up’ Number Leads To Sex Hotline

It seems the new film “Don’t Look Up” is endorsing phone sex to ease anxiety. Viewers of Adam McKay’s dark comedy on Netflix discovered an X-rated Easter egg when Leonardo DiCaprio’s character, astronomer Randall Mindy, delivers a public service announcement after he discovers an apocalyptic asteroid. In the PSA, he urges Americans to call a phone number if they seek “peace of mind” after learning there’s a comet on course to destroy all life on Earth.

The number, fans discovered, goes straight to a sex hotline. “Am I the only one that called the FEMA/Bash hotline and got a phone sex operator?” one viewer wrote on social media. “Called the 800 number they used in Don’t Look Up. It’s a phone sex chat service. LMAO, good prank,” said another.

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Check out more about a number on “Don’t Look Up” leading fans to a phone sex hotline: https://nypost.com/2022/01/04/dont-look-up-number-leads-straight-to-sex-hotline-fans-discover/