Category: LOL!

Amazon Tries To Get To The Bottom Of Its Sex Toy Mystery

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_mens_sex_toysAmazon is scratching its head over a strange sex toy mystery. Unsolicited packages containing sex toys are being sent to its users, but no one knows why. Amazon says its investigating the X-rated mystery boxes that have been turning up at homes around the US and Canada for the past weeks.

So far, Amazon has had no luck in identifying the naughty Secret Santa. Just last month, a total of 40 individual Amazon items, including a vibrator and a fleshlight, were mailed to students at universities across Canada. Some believe it could be a way of gaming the Amazon review system by creating fake accounts and then giving the product a 5-star review. But Amazon doesn’t think so, and for now is still hot on the heels of the sex toy case.

Still haven’t received your special delivery? We’re all about X-rated mysteries on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Amazon users getting unsolicited sex toys: https://nypost.com/2018/02/14/amazon-doesnt-know-why-customers-keep-getting-unsolicited-sex-toys/

Domino’s Isn’t Happy About Pizza-Ordering Sex Toy

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_pizzaWhat if we told you there’s a sex toy that immediately orders you a Domino’s pizza after you cum? Well, the good news is it exists—the bad news, Domino’s isn’t happy about it. “This is news to us,” a Domino’s spokesperson tells Fox News. “We have not worked with this company, nor have we authorized them to use our name in conjunction with their ‘toy.’”

Domino’s Pizza maintains it’s in no way affiliated with the adult entertainment site that sells “RubGrub,” an interactive vibrator that “has the ability to order Domino’s pizza immediately following an orgasm.” NY Post explains, “RubGrub will be outfitted with a button ‘affixed to the end’ of the device, which can be pre-programmed with the user’s payment and delivery information, meaning he/she would merely need to push the button to summon a cheese pizza.” Even though Domino’s isn’t game, there’s no need to worry: the adult entertainment company has plans to add additional restaurant chains, including Mexican and Chinese food. Obviously, toppings are extra.

Looking to satisfy a naughty craving? Come indulge right on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the sex toy that orders you a Domino’s pizza after you cum: https://nypost.com/2018/02/22/dominos-isnt-happy-with-pizza-ordering-sex-toy/

8 Hilarious Tweets And Tumblr Posts About Sex

5942090561_8656911f4b_zPeople on the internet keep it real when it comes to sharing funny observations about sex. And the most hilarious, sex-related posts are funny ’cause they’re true. Here are 8 silly tweets and Tumblr posts about sex that are just too much (check out more below).

  1. “I hate the word nut, cum is a nicer word.”“Oh, look at the squirrels storing cum for the winter.” Squirrels and humans alike love cum!
  2. “him: did u cum?
    me: yes, to the realization that this was a mistake.”     We’ve all been there!
  3. “boys get really hot and bothered when sexting and I’m probably laughing during it and eating macaroni.” Well, that does sound like a delicious way to multitask!
  4. “attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for ‘hours.’ thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i’ve got a lasagne cooking.” The perfect combo: orgasm followed by lasagne.
  5. “Having sex outside sounds pretty adventurous but what if a bug crawl up ya asshole then what you gone do.” The deep questions in life…
  6. “Sex sounds the same as when you stir potato salad.” Mmm, wet and delicious!
  7. “Fuck her from the back while she’s cooking eggs in morning for you.”“Y’all gonna learn to stop taking sex advice from Tumblr when ya titty hit that hot pan on the stove.” Ouch! Breakfast can wait…
  8. “Apparently the average person has sex 89 times a year. This is going to be a fucking brilliant week.” Better get down to business!

Looking for something to lift your mood? We’ve got just the thing to make your week fucking brilliant on NiteFlirt!

Check out more hilarious tweets about sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/dirty-tweets-and-tumblr-posts-that-will-make-you-scream?utm_term=.kcAzY7P10w#.aaax1WQ53E

The Man Who Played Barney Now Owns A Tantric Sex Business

best_phone_sex_fifty_shades_of_grey.jpgYou remember Barney, the lovable purple dinosaur who filled our hearts with joy each morning in the ’90s? Well, as it turns out, the man inside the costume now runs a tantric sex business! David Joyner, aka Barney from 1991 to 2001, recently talked with Vice about how tantric sex combines passion, love, and consciousness to transform sex into profound meditation.

He told Vice, “When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create.” Barney, ahem, Joyner added that “When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive.” Well, it’s fair to say Barney’s still spreading joy!

Looking for passion? Come have a transformative sexual experience right on Niteflirt!

Check out more about Barney’s tantric sex business: https://www.buzzfeed.com/delaneystrunk/the-guy-who-played-barney-owns-a-tantric-sex-business-so

These Quiet Vibrators Will Help You Masturbate In Peace

imageMany of us have found ourselves in a situation that is less than ideal for masturbation. Whether you have roommates or are visiting parents, you shouldn’t have to go without using your favorite vibrator. Here are some of the quietest ones out there for when you want a silent solo session.

  1. We-Vibe Nova – Not only is this vibrator super powerful but it’s also somehow drop dead silent. It hits the G-spot and the clit at the same time, giving you a mind-blowing orgasm.
  2. Crave Vesper – On first glance, it looks like a chic necklace. But it’s secretly a little vibrator that won’t buzz louder than a cellphone.
  3. Iroha Plus – This discreet little toy is covered in squishy silicone, which muffles the sound of the motor and makes it perfect to grind on. It’s also waterproof so you can bring it into the shower.
  4. Battery Plus Mr Boss – The Mr. Boss has one of the most powerful motors of any battery-operated vibrator, but it’s unbelievably quiet, even when it’s cranked up to the top of its four speeds,” says Refinery29. Intense!

Want to enhance your next solo session? We can be quiet—if you want us to on NiteFlirt!

Check out more of the quietest vibrators: https://www.refinery29.com/best-quiet-vibrators#slide-4

Netflix Accidentally Mailed Porn To Subscribers

screen-shot-2016-10-11-at-4-54-43-pm-2When Netflix first started as a mailing DVD service, it pulled a move that might’ve made the family-friendly business much more adult. Netflix CEO Mitch Lowe recently confirmed that the company accidentally sent porn to some of its users. Back in 1998, the company was so eager to transfer and make DVDs that they cut corners by omitting labels—which led to some x-rated movies being secretly distributed.

“When you get DVDs you usually have nice labels, but when you’re going fast you don’t have time for labels. It turns out that [the person] who was a duplicator, also duplicated pornography,” Lowe said. Lowe estimates that maybe only a hundred discs out of the “thousands and thousands” Netflix made were actually porn—but not surprisingly, Netflix never saw them again. “We told our customers to send them back—no one did,” Lowe said.

Looking for a naughty surprise? Let’s get x-rated on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Netflix accidentally mailing porn to customers: https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/mitch-lowe-moviepass-netflix-porn/

You Can Now Watch ‘Hamilton’ On Pornhub

9876280146_6533018f8a_zIf you didn’t get Hamilton tickets this Christmas, we’ve got some good news: it’s now available for viewing online. It’s true, you can watch the genre-bending musical totally free. There’s just one catch: you’ll have to watch it on Pornhub.

One generous user named “Broadwayfucker” uploaded the 75-minute clip to the x-rated site under the title “REVOLUTIONARY TWINKS HAVE HISTORICAL FUN.” Another user then tag-teamed the video, sharing another video of the same length under the name “revolutionary boys get dirty on american politics part 1.” Not only can you watch the show that’s nearly impossible to get tickets for, but the videos are shot from very expensive upper balcony seats. Thanks, Pornhub bootleggers, for giving users the best Christmas gift ever!

Looking for some top-notch adult entertainment? Come check out NiteFlirt‘s x-rated show!

Here’s more about how you can watch Hamilton on Pornhub: https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/hamilton-act-one-pornhub/

Pornhub Reveals The Most Popular Gaming Character Searches

PikachuSexPornhub revealed 2017’s most popular gaming characters that users love to watch fuck, and the results are pretty interesting. When it comes to porn searches, female characters are the stars: of the 16 characters listed by Pornhub, 13 are female. The hot women of Overwatch snagged the top three spots—D.Va, Mercy, and Tracer—with over 8 million searches combined on the porn mega-site.

After that, “Misty from Pokémon (2.6 million searches) beat out Tomb Raider’s Lara Craft ( 2.2 million searches) for a fourth place spot and Zelda grabbed number six,” reports Daily Dot. Pokemon’s Ash was the only male character to make the list, which goes to show that in the male-dominated gaming world, sexy female characters win the porn popularity contest. Besides hot lady heroes, users also want to see non-human characters like Pokémon Gardevoir and Pikachu get it on.

What’s your fantasy? Come make it a reality with us on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Pornhub’s data on the most popular gaming character searches: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/pornhub-most-popular-gaming-characters/

7 Sex Posts That Are So Inappropriate You’ll Spit-Laugh

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 3.23.26 PMYou ever see a post so funny that you actually spit your drink out? Well, we’ve got some good ones for you. Just make sure your laptop is appropriately protected!

  1. “Bad things to say when you nut: whoopsie-doo, here comes the goo.” Or: a shot of goo from me to you!
  2. “‘Do you moan or cuss?’‘Depends how good the food is but usually both.’” Food porn!
  3. “Why is Santa’s sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.” Ooh, Santa baby!
  4. “I got birth control so I can stop being my boyfriend’s Toaster Strudel and start being his Twinkie.” Both are delicious!
  5. “It’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked.” The second one was kind of unexpected, but no one is disagreeing.
  6. “‘Is having a penis fun?’‘It has its ups and downs.’”Sometimes it’s a little hard.’‘It’s a pain in the ass.’” Come on, guys!
  7. “Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.” Is that why it’s so joyful?

Looking for something risque? We can make you spit your drink out right on NiteFlirt!

Check out more inappropriate sex jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/17-posts-that-are-both-hilarious-and-totall

12 Sex Scenarios That Definitely Don’t Happen In The Movies

Screen Shot 2015-08-06 at 3.55.03 PMSex is very different from how it looks on the big screen. In real life, it’s definitely not as glamorous and it requires a lot more foreplay and lube. Here are 12 straight sex scenarios that happen IRL but not in the movies or on TV (check out the full list below).

  1. “One where the woman needs foreplay before she gets super wet, obvi.” Yes, in the magical land of television, foreplay is not important somehow…
  2. “One where lube is needed.” And again, lube is necessary everywhere but TV-land!
  3. “One where the guy needs to finish the girl off because some women don’t come from penetration alone.” Ladies first!
  4. “One where the guy can’t get it up because shit happens and honestly it’s not anyone’s fault.” Preach!
  5. “One where the girl has already climaxed, but the guy hasn’t and now it’s just chafing her crotch like crazy as he tries to keep going.” Annnnnd, that’s what lube’s for, people!
  6. “One where they fumble around awkwardly looking for a condom for at least two minutes.” Not like in the movies at all…
  7. “One where the girl gets up to pee right after because she doesn’t want to chance a possible UTI.” Yup!
  8. “One where they haven’t showered or look perfect and they’re like sweaty with major morning breath.” Not very romantic—but totally hot!
  9. “One where he gives you a towel after.” Prince Charming!
  10. “One where oral is performed with a gag reflex.” It happens.
  11. “One where they shower before sex because not everyone wants to have sweaty, possible body odor-involved sex.” Shower sex is hot!
  12. “One where someone is going down on the other person for a LONG time, but like nothing is happening and the person going down now has lock jaw.” Nope, won’t see that on screen.

Looking for some real sex? This ain’t Hollywood, but we definitely make magic happen on NiteFlirt!

Check out more sex scenarios you won’t see on TV: https://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/straight-sex-scenes-we-wish-we-saw-on-tv