LOL! Archives - Page 12 of 23 - Phone Sex: News, Insights, & Secrets NiteFlirt.com

Twitter Has A Lot To Say About This Oddly Sexual Chicken Cooking Video

The internet may be a little too into a chicken prep cooking video that’s been making the rounds on Twitter. The video entitled “Cordon bleu deluxe” shows a very enthusiastic chef using an, ahem, unusual method for the chicken breast. As one Twitter user pointed out, “why did he finger the chicken like that….”

Another user added, “Weirdly, this is how I like to get my pussy ready before I go out on the town.” Others inevitably agreed the chicken was rather pussy-like: “I took a double take cause I thought the chicken was a Fleshlight at first.” Surprisingly, some were offended by both the erotic nature of the video and the chef’s apparent under-seasoning of the dish: “This is the most sexually unseasoned chicken video that I ever watched. I am ashamed.”

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Check out more about an oddly sexual chicken prep video: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/chicken-prep-video-twitter/

Utah Officially Allows Citizens To Have Sex Outside Marriage

While you might think this is a headline from the year 1900, it is actually much more recent. Utah has just signed a law allowing unmarried people to have sex without breaking the law. Until recently, that was a class B misdemeanor under a 1973 law that carried a possible penalty of up to six months in jail or a maximum fine of $1,000.

Though it was neither enforced or prosecuted, it wasn’t until recently that Utah signed a similar bill that repealed the misdemeanor offenses of adultery and sodomy among consenting adults. Known as “offenses against the family,” the crimes were unenforceable because of court rulings on what consenting adults can do in private. As one Utah citizen said, “Basically just like, ‘Oh thank God, I can do this thing I’ve always been doing.’”

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Check out more about Utah officially allowing citizens to have sex outside marriage: https://nypost.com/2019/04/02/utah-officially-allows-citizens-to-have-sex-outside-marriage/

Woman Taken To Hospital For Allergic Reaction After Swallowing Cum

A woman is literally allergic to her partner’s cum. She was taken to the hospital for an allergic reaction after performing oral sex on him and swallowing. Doctors suspected she suffered from anaphylactic shock, but couldn’t understand how that could happen from performing fellatio.

Doctors ruled out a rare semen allergy and soon discovered that her partner had taken amoxicillin-clavulanic acid – a form of penicillin – to treat an ear infection. As a result, the doctors suspected the woman’s anaphylaxis was caused by “seminal transfer of amoxicillin.” Doctors, who believe the case to be the first of its kind ever recorded, have now urged anyone with drug allergies to “be aware” of the potential risk from oral sex.

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Check out more about a woman who had an allergic reaction after swallowing cum: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6795525/Woman-31-goes-anaphylactic-shock-swallowing-partners-SEMEN.html

There’s Now An ‘Apex Legends’ Porn Parody

Grab your joysticks, because the hot new Apex Legends porn parody is finally here. Ass Sex Legends is described by the creators as “an anal homage to the smash hit video game.” Instead of a Battle Royale, viewers are in for a hilarious and hot “Butt-le Royale” and one of the most “ass-tonishing” porn parodies to date from the adult film site WoodRocket.

Ass Sex Legends is directed by Missy Martinez and Holly G. Myers and features Charlotte Sartre and Isiah Maxwell. It follows in the nerdy, NSFW footsteps of such video game porn parodies as Fortnut and Legend of Zildo. The sexy spoof can be streamed for free on WoodRocket.com and Pornhub.

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Check out more about the new Apex Legends porn parody: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/apex-legends-video-game-porn-parody-pornhub-premium/

The Craziest Things That’s Ever Happened To Twitter Users During Sex

A Twitter user asked about the craziest thing that’s ever happened to users during sex and the responses did not disappoint. The user opened up the discussion with “I’ll start, I want to ride the dick reverse cowgirl style & this mf grabs my foot & starts sucking while I’m riding. I was caught off guard like fuck.” Another user replied with “when I was fast stroking and I thought it was her ass clapping but it was really mines.”

Funny sex stories seemed to be a trend: “We were high as fuck and we were doing it from the back and mid stroke he stops STILL INSIDE ME and goes ‘bruh whataburger would hit right now.’ I looked back like ….. what.” Someone else had a good head story: “My roommate walks in with her man while I’m getting head .. he pulls the cover over his head and keeps going like they weren’t even there.” But here’s the winner: “I didn’t know she could squirt, neither did she. Went right up my nose.”

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Check out more crazy sex stories on Twitter: https://www.buzzfeed.com/christopherhudspeth/people-are-sharing-the-craziest-things-thats-ever-happened

SNL Offers Solution For Distracting Your Dog During Sex

Finally, Saturday Night Live has come up with the perfect product to distract your pet during a hot sexual encounter: a giant dog costume you can fuck in! “Don’t let your fur baby ruin the intimate moment you’ve waited for all week,” the SNL mock ad implores. “Now you don’t have to with Pound Puppy, the furry dog costume big enough for two people to have sex in.”

Once inside you can “go to town,” and your dog will just think there’s just a much larger dog in the room, SNL explains. Pound Puppy gives you “the privacy you need and your dog gets a new best friend.” The costume is big enough for any sex position you’re in the mood for, which means your “dog will smile while you doggie-style.” Thanks for the brilliant idea, SNL!

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Check out more about SNL’s mock ad for a dog costume you can fuck in: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/snl-pound-puppy-sex-solution_n_5c68f9cbe4b033a799434aa0

The Most Wholesome Channel On Pornhub Is Blowing Up

A very unlikely channel on Pornhub has been surging in popularity lately: a fully clothed man doing sweet and wholesome things. Along with searched for terms like Stormy Daniels, Fortnite, and Bowsette, it seems thousands of fans are flocking to Creamer’s Channel, aka, a comedian’s SFW channel on Pornhub. It’s racked up more than 1 million views with videos like “I Tuck You In After You Have Cum,” in which he tucks sheets around the camera and offers a kiss goodnight.

Other hits include “I Deliver You a Pizza And Don’t Put My Weiner In It,” “I Offer You Water (In Case You Are Parched Post-Orgasm),” and “POV Forehead Kiss Compilation.” Several videos have over 100,000 views. Facebook and Twitter users are especially fond of the softcore channel—in response to the video “I do the dishes without being asked,” someone tweeted “TAKE MY BODY OH MY GOD,” while someone else replied “that’s porn for parents.”

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Check out more about a comedian’s SFW channel on Pornhub: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/ryan-creamer-pornhub/

A Suburban House With A Sex Dungeon Has Gone Viral

A Philadelphia real estate listing called “50 Shades of Maple Glen” has gone viral. The house boasts a lovely brick colonial with five bedrooms, an updated kitchen, and a “private adult sexual oasis” in the basement! It’s been viewed more than 500,000 times on Redfin since it went live less than 24 hours ago.

The house was staged with full BDSM gear and a sex swing in the basement’s sex dungeon. In photos on Zillow and Redfin, there are whips and chains hanging from rafters, a bed with a cage for the headboard, sex toys, and various sex pillows strewn around the room. Who doesn’t want a basement with ample space for bondage equipment and sex parties?!

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Check out more about a suburban house with a sex dungeon going viral: https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/02/philadelphia-sex-house-interview-with-realtor-melissa-leonard.html

You Can Now Buy An Aquaman Dildo

You can now enjoy Aquaman in a much more intimate way. Sex toy company Geeky Sex Toys have just released AquaMoan, a silicone dildo which features a scaly texture and curves reminiscent of the Justice League hero. This is the company that previously made toys inspired by franchises like the Avengers, Star Wars, and Guardians of the Galaxy.

Geeky Sex Toys’ philosophy is to make toys that are entertaining and visually pleasing, not just … pleasing in other ways. The $61 sex toy is a limited release of 500. For more underwater adventures, there’s also a Shape of Water inspired Fish-man dildo that was released earlier this year by XenoCatArtifacts’s Etsy store. We have a feeling these aquatic sex toys will be perfect for the shower!

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Check out more about a new Aquaman dildo: https://mashable.com/article/aquaman-dildo-sex-toy/#_vuZbdOJMPq9