Category: LOL!

Property Sex Fulfills Realty Fantasies For Fetishists

readingFor everyone who can find sexual satisfaction through traditional porn, there are a million options. But when you have a specific fetish, sometimes there are only a few options available to scratch your itch. Property Sex is a site exclusively for fetishists looking for sex between realtors, landlords, tenants, and home buyers.

Property Sex centers around real estate-based sexual fantasies, stories like “I want you to buy this house” or “you’re late on the rent.” The men and woman on Property Sex feature a hot mix of new and established adult performers. Property Sex features high-quality HD scenes, and currently offers 220 videos on the site for $29.99 per month.

Got an itch you want to scratch? Forget finding your “dream home”—you’ll find your “dream porn” here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Property Sex: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/property-sex-porn-membership/

Adult Film Company Files $10 Million Bid For Naming Rights To Miami Heat Arena

cup-1010916_1920A Miami adult film company has its eye on the ball—literally. After American Airlines announced it will not be renewing its naming rights for the Miami Heat arena, a Miami-based XXX production company was quick to bid. BangBros submitted a $10 million bid to lay claim to the naming rights for the home of the Heat.

The company tweeted out an official statement, claiming it wants to name the arena the BangBros Center, or BBC for short. While rumors swirled around the internet that this was merely a publicity stunt, NBC Sports confirmed on Twitter that this is indeed a legitimate bid. Even though that hefty bid is legitimate, the Miami Heat are most likely not going to go through with this—as progressive as the NBA is, it would be hard to sell family ticket packages to the “BBC.”

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Check out more about BangBros bidding for the naming rights to the Miami Heat arena: https://clutchpoints.com/heat-news-adult-film-company-files-10-million-bid-for-naming-rights-to-miami-arena/

8 Dirty Disney Jokes

24503004315_94fb07d7e3_zDid you know Disney has a dirty side? Well, if you didn’t you won’t be able to think of these classics without getting filthy thoughts for now on! Here are 8 dirty Disney jokes sure to ruin your childhood.

  1. Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
    A: She gagged.
  2. Q: Where is Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out?
    A: Wendy’s.
  3. Q: Why did Chip and Dale take Daisy Duck to the hospital?
    A: Because they busted a nut in her.
  4. Q: What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy?
    A: Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.
  5. Q: Why does Bambi’s friend, Thumper, not make noise during sex?
    A: Because he has cotton balls.
  6. Q: Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
    A: She sat on Pinocchio’s face and said, “Lie to me! Lie to me!”
  7. Q: Minnie told Mickey she wanted a divorce. He responded, “Are you fucking serious?!”
    A: Minnie responded: “No. I’m fucking Goofy!”
  8. Q: Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?
    A: He had Pooh stuck inside him.

Looking for something to make you smile? We’re all about dirty fun here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more dirty Disney jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/really-dirty-disney-jokes

The 10 Best British Words For Fucking

The Brits are pretty damn filthy. Those cheeky buggers have every imaginable word for sex under the (hazy) sun. Here are 10 of the best.

  1. “Shagging.”
    Shagalicious, baby!
  2. “Getting your end away.”
    That’s one way to say “getting some!”
  3. “Having it off.”
    Efficient!
  4. “How’s your father?”
    Father? What about MILF?
  5. “Roger.”
    Roger that!
  6. “Rumpy pumpy.”
    Nursery rhyme? Dirty limerick?
  7. “Root.”
    Nothing sexier than a plant metaphor!
  8. “Knock off.”
    Not before you get your rocks off!
  9. “Shaft.”
    Shaft, that’s right!
  10. “The old in out.”
    That’s pretty straight forward, actually!

Looking to get cheeky? You don’t need to be across the pond to get your end away at NiteFlirt!

Check out more British words for sex: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benarmson90/only-a-real-brit-will-have-used-at-least-xx-of-these-words

YouPorn Offers ‘Truly Unique’ Chance To Propose On Their Site

woman-609252_640YouPorn is offering the engagement story of a lifetime—though you might not want to share it with your family. The adult entertainment website is hoping to give one lucky lovebird the opportunity to propose to a significant other on the porn-streaming platform.  “What better way to make your love story truly unique than popping the question in front of the millions of people and on one of the most popular websites in the world?” said the vice president of YouPorn in a press release.

The contest, which YouPorn is calling “YouPropose,” requires participants to apply by submitting “a paragraph gushing about why you would like to propose to your partner on YouPorn.” YouPorn is extra excited at the prospect of two active YouPorn uploaders — perhaps couples that watch together, or share their footage on the site — getting together during the “YouPropose” promotion. “We wanted to do something to support partnerships and people who want to celebrate each other,” said the VP. “Ideally we will get some submissions from couples that upload to our site!”

Looking for a truly unique experience? There’s no better adult entertainment than NiteFlirt!

Check out more about YouPropose: https://nypost.com/2019/06/18/youporn-offers-truly-unique-chance-to-propose-on-their-site/

9 Of The Wildest Stories From ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’

Sex Sent Me To The ER was a show on TLC that used actors to reenact real-life sex mishaps. The stories were both scary and hilarious—and definitely served as good cautionary tales. Here are some of the wildest stories:

  1. Woman had severe vaginal pains after her husband used exploding candy rocks to perform oral sex.
    When food in the bedroom goes wrong….
  2. Woman got third degree burns because her partner poured a melted gummy bear on her chest.
    This is not sticky/sweet!
  3. Guy got his penis stuck in the door knob hole while trying to having kinky sex with his girlfriend.
    Kinky in a bad way…
  4. Couple got electrocuted while having sex on a mechanical bull.
    The woman said, “and then boom! I’m getting electrocuted via my vagina.”
  5. Couple had sex on the bus during a Zombie Run and when a “zombie” spooked them, this woman jumped, and accidentally broke her nose.
    Run for your (sex) life!
  6. Guy got third degree burns on his foot because he was hooking up by an open fire.
    Hot?
  7. Man had a legless lizard slither into his urethra because he was butt naked outside in an attempt to find his “sexual spirit.”
    Maybe he was really looking for his spirit animal?
  8. Guy slipped and hit his head on a meat hook while trying to have sex with his wife in a meat freezer.
    What men will do for a piece of tail…
  9. Couple got sick from C. coli, a bacteria found in pigs, after having sex in the mud.
    Dirty, literally!

Want to get sexually adventurous? You don’t have to roll around in the mud to get dirty, just c’mon over to NiteFlirt and we’ll help!

Check out more about the best sex mishaps from ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ajanibazile/sex-sent-me-to-the-er

These Musicians Invented Sex, According To The Latest Twitter Meme

condomsIt turns out sex was invented by musical acts like Lady Gaga, The 1975, and BTS—at least according to Twitter. After a religious tweet went viral for saying that sex was created by God, Twitter users responded that, actually, musicians being openly horny encouraged everyone else to do the same. Here are the best responses to the tweet, “Sex was created by God, for marriage, between a husband and a wife. Not for a boyfriend and girlfriend that are dating.”

  1. “sex was invented in 2012 when the 1975 said ‘if we’re gonna do anything we might as well just fuck'”
    Good idea!
  2. “sex was invented by lana del rey in 2012 when she wrote down the words ‘my pussy tastes like pepsi cola’”
    Delicious!
  3. “sex was invented in 2008 when Lady Gaga said ‘let’s have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick'”
    Definitely makes us want to get down!
  4. “sex was invented in 2014 when yoongi rapped ‘my voice turns people on, whether be a man or a woman, the flexible movements of my tongue will make you cum'”
    Hot!
  5. “Sex was invented in 1994 when Marilyn Manson said ‘I am the god of fuck!'”
    So sex was created by god!
  6. “No offense but I thought sex was invented in the Purple Rain movie when Prince told Appelonia to purify herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka”
    They’re not wrong…
  7. “sex was invented in 2012 by bruno mars when he said ’cause your sex takes me to paradise'”
    Sexy and heavenly!
  8. “sex was invented in 2011 when the lonely island and akon released ‘i just had sex'”
    Naughty!
  9. “sex was invented in 2012 when one direction said ‘i want you to rock me'”
    Further proof that sex was invented by horny musicians!

Looking for some sexy fun? We can take you to paradise right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Twitter meme about musicians inventing sex: https://mashable.com/article/sex-was-invented-meme/

Searches For Alien Porn Are Skyrocketing On Pornhub

8579340785_3966b78661_kMore than 1.6 million people have signed up to attend the viral “Storm Area 51” Facebook event, but thousands have already started searching for the extraterrestrials—on Pornhub. Alien-related searches have spiked since news about the event started circulating, according to Pornhub’s statistics. In one week, searches for “Area 51” jumped from zero to 160,000.

Not that the genre wasn’t popular before it became this summer’s hottest memes: An average of 30,000 people a day were already looking for kinky alien videos. “Alien impregnation” beat out the other top searches—“alien sex” and “alien hentai.” Women visitors got off to alien porn more than 30% more than men, and young millennials and Generation Zers proved the horniest generation for E.T.

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Check out more about alien porn searches skyrocketing on Pornhub: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/alien-porn-area-51-pornhub/

The Internet Is Sexualizing The New Pokemon Made Of Cream

Image Source: Daily Dot

There’s a new pokemon taking the internet by storm for its sweet, delicious, creaminess—among other things. Alcremie is the pokemon that produces whipped cream—and how good her cream tastes depends on her mood. Make her happy, and her cream tastes even better.

Obviously, the internet has a very dirty mind: “Nintendo: Alcremie elvoles into Cumslut with the use of a Load Stone! The more you please her, the sweeter the cream pies!” writes one Twitter user. Another user writes, “BOYS GET READY. ALCREMIE PORN IS COMING.” But one tweet pretty much perfectly sums it up: “ALCREMIE IS LITERALLY THE CUM POKEMON.”

Looking for something sweet, delicious and creamy? Come see how good NiteFlirt tastes!

Check out more about the new naughty pokemon that produces sweet cream: https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/alcremie-cream-pokemon-memes/

Sex Toy App Tells Women How Many Calories They Burn While Masturbating

magicwandarthistoryA new Fitbit-style app linked to vibrators can tell women exactly how many calories they’ve burnt by masturbating. ZALO USA is the first sex toy manufacturer in the world to offer the feature, which they claim is based on an algorithm backed by a scientific study which suggests masturbating burns around three calories every minute. The research the app is based on found sex – from foreplay to climax – burns the equivalent of 3.6 calories every minute.

ZALO admits masturbation will not burn as many calories as sex, but after testing on 218 women, they found the women burned up to six calories every minute. The calorie-counting app monitors the duration, the setting of vibration women choose to use, and even how loud women are while masturbating. ZALO says the higher the vibrations, the higher a woman’s heart rate – which means she will burn more calories – and if a woman masturbates three times a week for 10 minutes, she could burn 90 calories.

Looking for a hot way to get fit? We can get your heart rate going right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about a masturbation app that tells you how many calories you’ve burned: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-7167607/The-app-tells-women-calories-burn-MASTURBATING.html