Category: Lists

People Shared Things They Find “Erotic” That Involve No Nudity

BuzzFeed wanted to know what really gets peoples’ motors running—that doesn’t involve sex. Somehow, the responses are equal parts SFW and NSFW. Here’s what readers find erotic that have absolutely nothing to do with fucking, but still turns them on. 

  1. “When someone touches my hair gently.”
    Foreplay?
  2. “When you’re speaking to a woman and she does the ‘hair tuck’ behind her ears. My heart skips a few beats every time!”
    Subtly sexy…
  3. “When a man slides his belt out of the belt loops of his jeans…it always makes my heart race a little.”
    We see your point!
  4. “When a woman wears a men’s button-down shirt that’s just long enough to cover her so that she doesn’t have to wear pants.”
    Hot!
  5. “Dancing. it sexy to hold my ex and do the move sets together and just look in her eyes the whole time while feeling her body moving under her dress.”
    Is it warm in here or is it you?
  6. “When a woman is lying on her side, and you can see the roller coaster fall and rise of her waist, hips, and legs. This is why art is a thing!”
    Preach!
  7. “Watching a man loosen his tie…especially if it’s done slowly.”
    First the tie, then…
  8. “Specific, but the sound of heels walking on a floor made of marble.”
    So true.

What do you find erotic? We can always get your motor running at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about things people find erotic that don’t involve nudity: https://www.buzzfeed.com/alliehayes/erotic-things-that-involve-no-nudity-reddit

Women Share The Most Surprising Things They Didn’t Realize About Dicks

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the internet recently: “Women, what surprised you the most the first time you saw or played with a penis?” The answers didn’t disappoint. Here are some of the funniest, strangest, and just plain true things people didn’t realize about dicks until they saw one, ahem, in the flesh.

  1. “BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting.”
    Yes!
  2. “How squishy it is flaccid.”
    Fun to play with!
  3. “The texture! When they said ‘hard’ I didn’t know what to expect….”
    Now you know!
  4. “What struck me the most was that it’s just there, dangling away, all day, every day, just hanging out with its ball buddies. Like how do you not sit on it? Is it not constantly annoying you? Is the satisfaction of unsticking it from your thighs worth the discomfort of it sticking in the first place?”
    LOL!
  5. “[I thought] it had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it.”
    Hmm, OK…
  6. “I expected the penis, but I didn’t expect the balls to be so…there.”
    They are indeed!
  7. “That it sort of floated in a bath…I didn’t expect that.”
    Like a rubber ducky!
  8. “It can jump on its own.”
    It has a mind of its own!
  9. “The veins!”
    Yup.

Looking for a “real” experience? We can always surprise you here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more women’s reactions to seeing a dick for the first time: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/women-share-surprising-things-about-penises-reddit

Women Share The Things They Wish Men Wouldn’t Copy From Porn During Sex

A Reddit user asked women to share things guys copy from porn that aren’t enjoyable, and the discussion got heated. Sometimes what works in porn, does not work in real life—as many women attested to. Whether it’s bad butt sex etiquette or getting too rough too soon, here are 9 things women said they wish men would stop doing from porn.

  1. “Going faster when you tell them something feels good/you’re gonna cum. Pro tip: Don’t change a goddamn thing. Keep up the same pace.”
    Slow and steady wins the race!
  2. “Rubbing the clit like a fucking stain on a shirt. Circular motions, please.”
    PSA: the clit is oh so sensitive!
  3. “Stop jackhammering into us right off the bat. Warm up to it and get us WET. No, spitting on the pussy doesn’t count.”
    Preach!
  4. “When they go from ass to vag. Good way to get an infection. Once you go butthole, you don’t go back.”
    That’s just good hygiene. 
  5. “Slapping the vagina like a used-car salesman trying to sell a 1999 Corolla.”
    Unless she’s into that…
  6. “Don’t grab the titty so fucking hard, bro!”
    Good advice!
  7. “STOP being silent! Please moan; that shit’s hot as hell.”
    Yes!
  8. “Expecting the woman to shoot forth a geyser of fluid. If something happens, it’s a trickle, not Old Faithful.”
    Great Squirt-pectations!
  9. “THREESOMES. I’m bisexual, and literally every guy I’ve been with has asked for one.”
    Well, we see their point..

Looking for the perfect sexual experience? You’ll always get what you want with us on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about women sharing the things they wish men wouldn’t do from porn: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/men-copy-porn

7 Funny Tweets About Having A Pussy

People on Twitter have been looking inward (no pun intended!) since the lockdown began—and yes we’re talking about pussies! Whether the ladies need to bemoan quarantine-celibacy or not being able to get a wax, these tweets capture what life is like for pussies right now. Here are the best 7 tweets about having a pussy:

  1. “who called it vagina and not penis flytrap”
    Pussy dad joke?
  2. “*coughs*
    *dust shoots out of vagina*”
    Not sure there’s a mask for that…
  3. “Before lockdown, I had laser hair removal on my lady parts. They only did the top half and I didn’t get to go back for the bottom half. Now my vag is bare up top, and a bush down below. My vagina has a mullet.”
    Could be a new hair trend!
  4. “My 4-yr old just fell off her bike and said, ‘I fell and it hurt my vagina, but I got right back up.’ New motto to live by, ladies.”
    Right on!
  5. “I haven’t seen my vagina in a month. My bf says she’s doing good but what the hell do he know.”
    It’s all about trust in a relationship…
  6. “I once accidentally sent a photo of my vagina to my son’s guidance counselor and she emailed me saying she had received a ‘very disturbing image’ from me and I’m still waiting for an apology.”
    Fair enough!
  7. “I haven’t been touched in so long my vagina is now purely decorative.”
    We can help with that!

Do you love pussy? Come show your appreciation right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more funny tweets about having a pussy: https://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/funny-vagina-tweets-2

Reddit Shares Secret Sexual Fetishes

It turns out Reddit is secretly kinky. Reddit users weren’t shy about answering the question, “What fetish will you keep a secret from the people you know IRL?” The thread quickly went viral, with thousands of strangers revealing their most private, secret kinks:

  1. “Naked women brushing their teeth.”
    Who doesn’t love nudity and good hygiene?
  2. “I like inflatable pool toys a bit more than I’m supposed to. My IRL friends and family don’t need to know that inflatables and their squeaky noises turn me on.”
    Inflatable fetish!
  3. “My wife can essentially orgasm just listening to my heartbeat. More turned on I get, faster it gets, more turned on she gets.”
    Get the blood pumping!
  4. “I love getting fucked by guys anonymously. I’m blindfolded and never see who fucked me, and will never know who it is.”
    Hot!
  5. “Getting choked out by hella thicc thighs.”
    Thick means more to love!
  6. “Money fetish. I like to rub dollar bills over my body but people see that as weird.”
    Make it rain!
  7. “I like to pretend I’m a doll during sex, or act like one.”
    Sex dolls are the new sex trend…
  8. “I’m into really gassy men, particularly from the bottom end.”
    Whatever revs your engine!

Got a kinky fetish? Come to NiteFlirt… we’ll tell you our secrets if you tell us yours!

Check out more about Reddit’s secret sex fetishes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/sexual-fetishes-reddit-thread

Reddit Shares What Happens In Real-Life Sex That Is Never Seen In Porn

just4pleasureArt doesn’t always imitate life—especially porn. Let’s be honest, porn isn’t exactly known for always showing a realistic depiction of sex. Here’s how Reddit users answered the question, “What happens in real-life sex that you never see in porn?”

  1. “Having to take a drink because their mouth gets dry during a blowjob.”
    We’re only human!
  2. “Stopping during oral to remove a pube from their tongue.”
    It’s been known to happen…
  3. “Temporarily losing an erection while moving between positions.”
    Newton’s law: what goes up must come down.
  4. “Accidentally head-butting or elbowing.”
    Enter at your own risk…
  5. “Leg cramping up, farting, and giggling.”
    Happens to the best of us!
  6. “Pets watching and/or jumping on the bed to check out what’s going on.”
    Fido, down!
  7. “Waddling to the toilet before anything drips out of the body.”
    Ah, yes—the after-sex waddle.
  8. “Arguing over who sleeps on the wet spot afterwards.”
    Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Looking for the best adult entertainment? We always keep it real here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about what happens in real-life sex that never happens in porn: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ajanibazile/things-that-dont-happen-in-porn

7 Hilarious Sex Horror Stories On Twitter

volcanoWho doesn’t love a good sex horror story to lift your spirits. We all have some embarrassing story, and the good people on Twitter are more than happy to share theirs. Here are the best/worst ones.

  1. “my worst one was DEFINITELY the time i was on top w this guy & out of NOWHERE the ball of my nipple piercing FELL OFF & LANDED IN HIS MOUTH & HE STARTED CHOKING HAHAHAHA.”
    When naughty piercings go wrong…
  2. “Did it on a bed with wheels and I honestly could not contain myself when we started making our way over to the other side of the room.”
    That’s one way to switch it up!
  3. “Went home with a girl one night (very drunk) to cut a long story short in my taxi home the next morning the taxi driver looks at me and says ‘what’s happened to your face mate, fighting last night was you?’ Period blood everywhere.”
    Accidental blood hound!
  4. “The one and only time I’ve ever had a three way. I got both girls pregnant.”
    Three’s company too?
  5. “giving my bf head in a straight up public street in coolock at 2am and some girl shouted over HOWS IT TASTE and i stopped briefly, shouted FUCKING UNREAL LOVE then continued.”
    Delicious!
  6. “ate some hot wings once and when i went to finger a bird the remains of the hot sauce started burning the insides of her fanny and she started screaming.”
    Not hot…
  7. “I had a guy over and woke up the next morning to find that he SHAVED HIS PUBES IN MY SINK WITH MY RAZOR.”
    Fetish thing?

Looking for a memorable sexual experience? You’ll never forget what happens at NiteFlirt!

Check out more hilarious sex horror stories on Twitter: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jamedjackson/sex-horror-stories-straight-from-twitter

10 Hilarious Tweets About Sex After Kids

If you’re a parent, you know the often hilarious truth about sex after kids. As one tweet accurately puts it, “Your sex life as a parent basically becomes ‘Fifty Shades of Pray Those Kids Stay Asleep.’” Here are the funniest tweets from parents about post-kids sex.

  1. “If your sexytime music is cartoons playing loudly outside your locked door, you might be a parent.”
    Mood music!
  2. “Husband and I wrestled behind closed doors this morning. My daughter busted in and pounced on his back.
    No one won the wrestling match. No one.”
    Time for a rematch?
  3. “Me: Do that thing I like
    Husband: [takes the kids and leaves]”
    Sexy!
  4. “[Married pillow-talk]
    Husband: What’s your deepest fantasy?
    Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don’t leave any crumbs under the table.”
    Dirty talk indeed!
  5. “Being married with children is like being a teenager again. You can only have sex if you sneak around and don’t get caught.”
    That can be hot!
  6. “Be sure to keep the spark alive by texting him sexy little nothings like,
    ‘We need to check the kids for lice’ and ‘please buy tampons.'”
    A truly generous lover!
  7. “Having sex when you’re a parent is like trying to shoot from half court with 3 seconds left on the clock.”
    Score!
  8. “Before kids: shower sex
    After kids: shower decontamination.”
    Dangerous when wet!
  9. “Him: What are you wearing?
    Me: Medical-grade hospital socks with anti-slip technology.”
    There is probably a fetish for that…
  10. “The best thing about sex after kids is probably no matter where in your house or car you do it, you end up with legos, Barbie shoes, or Shopkins lodged in your body.”
    Professional hazards.

Looking to re-spark your sex life? You don’t need a babysitter for NiteFlirt!

Check out more funny tweets about sex after kids: https://www.buzzfeed.com/asiawmclain/funny-sex-after-kids-tweets

8 Dirty Disney Jokes

24503004315_94fb07d7e3_zDid you know Disney has a dirty side? Well, if you didn’t you won’t be able to think of these classics without getting filthy thoughts for now on! Here are 8 dirty Disney jokes sure to ruin your childhood.

  1. Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
    A: She gagged.
  2. Q: Where is Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out?
    A: Wendy’s.
  3. Q: Why did Chip and Dale take Daisy Duck to the hospital?
    A: Because they busted a nut in her.
  4. Q: What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy?
    A: Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.
  5. Q: Why does Bambi’s friend, Thumper, not make noise during sex?
    A: Because he has cotton balls.
  6. Q: Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
    A: She sat on Pinocchio’s face and said, “Lie to me! Lie to me!”
  7. Q: Minnie told Mickey she wanted a divorce. He responded, “Are you fucking serious?!”
    A: Minnie responded: “No. I’m fucking Goofy!”
  8. Q: Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?
    A: He had Pooh stuck inside him.

Looking for something to make you smile? We’re all about dirty fun here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more dirty Disney jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/really-dirty-disney-jokes

9 Times ‘The Golden Girls’ Boasted About Their Hot Sex Lives

161Golden Girls fans know that some of the funniest moments are gags about the girls’ active sex lives. Not only did the girls have a lot of sex, they had really good sex, too. Here are some of the best jokes about the girls getting laid.

  1. Blanche: “Best sex? Oh, it’s just so hard to rate these things. There’s degree of difficulty, style points, choice of music…did they land on their feet during the dismount?”
  2. “So the woman [Rose] had 56 boyfriends in one year, she’s not a slut…She is THE slut. She’s the grand pooh-bah of slutdom.”
  3. The girls walk in on Sophia getting it on: “What is going on here?!” “Afterglow.”
  4. Blanche gave the girls a calendar of all the men she had sex with as a Christmas present: “Oh Blanche, oh honey this is so thoughtful. I’m surprised you were able to walk in October.”
  5. “No offense, Dorothy, but your cupcakes are dry and tasteless. Nobody ever likes your cupcakes.”
    “My cupcakes are moist and delicious. Men LOVE my cupcakes.”
  6. “I’ve got something in this old lady purse that’s gonna make you scream, holler, and jump for joy!”
    “Are the batteries included?”
  7. “Is that all you care about? Money and applause?”
    “And sex. For which I generally get applause.”
  8. “Blanche, how do you feel about performing in front of a video camera?”
    “I think it’s alright as long as you’ve already had at least three dates.”
  9. When the girls went to a pharmacy to buy essentials for a vacation with their boyfriends: “Condoms, Rose. Condoms, condoms, condoms!”

Do you love sex? We can make you scream, holler and jump for joy here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more Golden Girls sex jokes: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kaylayandoli/the-golden-girls-had-better-sex-lives-than-all-of-us