Category Archives: Insights

9 American Words That Have a Naughty Meaning in Britain

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britishunderwearOy, mate. Have you ever gone to Britain and found out the awkward way that some words mean different things there? For example, if you called someone “spunky” across the pond, they’d look at you like you were batty (find out why below). Here are 9 American words that have a very different, very naughty meaning in Britain.

  1. Trump
    What it means in America: The potential next president. What it means in Britain: A fart. As Buzzfeed says, “American people entertaining the notion of ‘President Trump’ is akin to the next British prime minister being called David Fart.” A lot of people think Trump is full of hot air, so it’s actually not that absurd.
  2. Spunky
    What it means in America: Feisty; spirited; plucky. What it means in Britain: Covered in semen. So probably not a good idea to refer to your grandma as “spunky” there!
  3. Cop
    What it means in America: Police officer. What it means in Britain: To grope, i.e., “cop a feel” of a boob, a willy, or a bum.
  4. Randy
    What it means in America: A dude’s name. What it means in Britain: Extremely horny. Randy is randy, baby!
  5. Pants
    What it means in America: Trousers. What it means in Britain: Panties, i.e., knickers. So if someone yells on the street, “Put your pants on!” it has an even naughtier meaning.
  6. Fanny
    What it means in America: A butt or ass. What it means in Britain: Pussy.
  7. Pull
    What it means in America: The opposite of push. What it means in Britain: To kiss (or snog) a stranger.
  8. Knob
    What it means in America: A handle of a door or drawer. What it means in Britain: Cock or dick, as in “That guy in the speedo has a massive knob!”
  9. Muff
    What it means in America: Something warm you put over your ears. What it means in Britain: A woman’s pubes.

Are you randy for some fanny or knob? Come bring your spunky pants our way, mate!

Check out more American words that have a naughty British meaning here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/beckybarnicoat/american-words-sound-rude-in-britain?utm_term=.tcvzvegdK2#.kpdVQpozdR

‘Gigolos’ TV Star Insures His Cock For $1 Million

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_dollarsignsWhy would someone insure their cock? Well, if their cock is their livelihood, like one of the stars of Showtime’s reality series Gigolos, it might be worth over a million dollars! Nick Hawk, sex symbol with his own sex toy line and TV show, recently talked to Cosmopolitan about his decision to take out insurance on his “money-maker” for a million bucks, explaining he needed the extra protection because his clients have become too rough with him, perhaps inspired by the film Fifty Shades of Grey.

“Fifty Shades screwed me,” he said. “Most people are inexperienced [in bondage] and just getting into it, so they’re a little too rough. Everybody wants to beat each other up now, and not everybody knows how to do it effectively. It also doesn’t help that I took on this ‘bad boy’ image, so I decided to get the insurance.” He said that since sex is so rough these days “with hair-pulling and scratching and all that,” it made sense for him to “cover his assets,” so to speak. His cock is now fully insured—including theft!—so he can relax when things get really wild.

Want to make a worthwhile investment in yourself? Come get wild with us!

Check out more about the Gigolos star insuring his cock for $1 million: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/05/02/gigolos-tv-star-explains-why-he-insured-his-penis-for-1-million/

ErotikaLand: World’s First Sex Theme Park

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Sculpture resembling sex toy in ParisHave you ever wanted to ride cock-shaped bumper cars? If so, now’s your chance! Entrepreneurs in Brazil are hoping to open ErotikaLand, the world’s first adults-only theme park. Due to open in 2018, guests can enjoy an erotic museum, a nudist pool, and a ‘7D’ cinema with vibrating seats!

Though you can’t actually fuck at the park, there will be a motel on the premises for guests to, um, unwind after a thrilling day. Other really cool features will include a “train of pleasure” with go-go boys and girls, a “sex playground” with water slide, bumper cars shaped like genitalia, and a snack bar selling aphrodisiacs. Some critics in Brazil are against the sex park because they believe it would attract “debauched individuals.” The park investors argue that ErotikaLand would create hundreds of jobs and, at $100 a ticket, would bring in lots of money to a region in desperate need of tourism. We say, as long as everyone keeps their arms and legs (and everything else!) inside of the ride at all times, let the fun begin!

Looking for a wild ride yourself? Any and all “debauched individuals” are welcome!

Check out more about ErotikaLand here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/05/07/you-will-soon-be-able-to-ride-penis-shaped-bumper-cars-at-worlds-first-sex-theme-park/

‘Sex Factor’ Looks For America’s Next Top Porn Star

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It was only a matter of time before shows like “American Idol” lent its formulaic premise to porn. Hence, “Sex Factor,” the XXX version of “The Voice,” that wants to find America’s next top porn star. The eight-woman, eight-man competition, which debuts May 19 at the Xhamster.com porn website and at SexFactor.com, is offering two very lucky contestants $1 million each for their hard-won victories! And so far, the competition is stiff (no pun intended!).

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“Kinky contestants are judged by adult performers Tori Black, Remy LaCroix, Lexi Belle, Asa Akira and the lone male, Keiran Lee, whose penis is supposedly insured for $1 million,” reports the Huffington Post. The show’s creator Buddy Ruben believes the key to the show’s success will be the quirky contestants’ personalities, more than the sex. “We’re looking for marketable, compelling personalities and want to tell the stories of their failures and follies,” Ruben told HuffPost. He even tried to sell the show to Netflix, before it was eventually purchased by Xhamster. Ten episodes have been filmed, which are posted every two weeks. In between, eager viewers can watch sex scenes with the competitors, behind-the-scenes clips and bloopers of all the action!

Want to come out on top? You’ll always get lucky at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about ‘Sex Factor’ here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wannabe-porn-stars-get-on-the-jobs-training-in-kinky-reality-show-sex-factor_us_57341d19e4b077d4d6f229bf

 

Conservative Congressional Candidate Shares Screenshot, Forgets to Close Porn Windows

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republicanelephantMike Webb is a conservative candidate for the United States congress who wants to bring “responsiveness and accountability” to Washington, D.C. His campaign is a testament to his goals, as he personally handles all his own social media. His campaign announcement says, “Webb claims that many residents are looking for responsiveness and accountability from their elected and appointed leaders. ‘One way to do that is to personally respond on social media. Talk and engage with people. Joke and chide. Engage in dialogue. That is what it is all about.’” Unfortunately for Mike Webb, he’s probably now regretting his decision not to hire someone to run his social media.

The congressional candidate accidentally shared a screenshot of his computer screen without closing his porn windows! Facebook users were quick to point out the porn tabs: “Now you know what politicians do in their spare time!! #pumpthebrakesWEBB” Another user commented, “I like your taste in porn.” The porn screenshot was still on his page five hours after the original post. So much for his promise of “responsiveness!” We think every candidate should follow Mike Webb’s example and disclose their porn habits—at the very least, they’d seem more relatable!

Looking for some “responsiveness” yourself? Give your vote to NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the conservative congressional candidate’s porn screenshot here: https://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/5/16/1527124/-Conservative-congressional-candidate-shares-screenshot-forgets-to-close-porn-windows

7 Things to Know For International Masturbation Month

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_dildosIt’s International Masturbation Month! Now you can have a whole month dedicated to, er, taking care of yourself. To celebrate the occasion, here are 7 things to know about self-love.

  1. About one in seven women have never masturbated
    “When asked if they had ever masturbated before, 15% of the women surveyed as part of a Swedish study released earlier this month said no, compared to just 1% of men (in total, 3,000 men and women were interviewed),” reports the Guardian
  2. Women are more likely to use sex toys
    Although men are embracing sex toys more and more, 43% of women use them compared with just 13% of men.
  3. Men fantasize while masturbating
    Men are twice as likely to fantasize each time they jerk off than women. Where’s the imagination, ladies?
  4. Duration can vary from five minutes to 150 minutes
    According to the masturbation science site, Touchingforscience, masturbation can vary from quickies to long, luxurious self-love sessions.
  5. Atheists love to jerk off
    Atheists and agnostics were much more likely to have masturbated than religious folks. “Overall, 95% of agnostics said they had masturbated at least once in their lives, compared to 64% of fundamentalist Protestants, 62% of Christians and 53% of Jews.”
  6. Married people are less likely to masturbate 
    According to a survey conducted by The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, married people were the least likely to have masturbated in the past 90 days (57% of married men and 39% of married women). “Single and dating” women and “single” men were the most likely to have gotten off on their own.
  7. Over 60% of men watch porn
    In what comes as probably no surprise, men love to “double-click their mouse” on the internet!

Want to celebrate International Masturbation Month? We are all about self-love here!

Check out more things to know for International Masturbation Month: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/10/masturbation-month-sex-toys-tips-sexual-health

Worldwide Ideal Penis Size Survey Reveals Whether Bigger Is Better

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_smallpenisA recent survey that asked participants around the world what their ideal penis size is attempts to answer the age-old question, “Is bigger really better?” The survey, conducted by the British online medical website Dr. Ed, asked men and women from Europe and North America to guess the length of the average erect penis and also to answer what their ideal penis length is. And not surprisingly, regardless of what respondents thought the average penis length was, most everyone thought bigger was better.

According to the Gaily Grind, “On average, women perceived the average male penis length to be 5.5 inches and the ideal penis size to be 6.3 inches. Men perceived the average penis length on average is 5.5 inches and the ideal length is 6.6 inches.” It seems Poland likes their cocks especially huge, with an assumed average penis size of 6.3 inches and an ideal penis size of 6.9 inches. The US, however, was more realistic about the perceived average penis size as 5.7 inches—the average man’s penis is actually 5.6 inches—although the reported ideal length was a whopping 6.8 inches! It seems bigger is better—in our imaginations!

Want to have an ideal experience yourself? We can give you everything you’re looking for and more right here!

Check out more about the worldwide ideal penis size survey here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/05/05/worldwide-ideal-penis-size-survey-finds-bigger-really-is-better/

The Goopiest Sex Advice From Goop’s First Sex Issue

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LetsTalkSexWhat exactly is Goop sex? None other than Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle advice column for rich health-freaks—but for sex. And as you can probably guess, the sex advice is about as ridiculous and impractical as you’d expect. Here are some of the Goopiest highlights from Goop’s first-ever sex issue.

  1. Become an erotic theater member—for $50,000
    In Los Angeles, you can join an exclusive erotic theater called Snctm for a cool $10,000-$50,000! The theater requires male guests to be a member, be a part of a couple, or reserve dinner. Women can buy tickets and are the only people allowed to touch or initiate contact with another guest.
  2. Only use edible lube
    According to Goop, most lube has parabens, which are “endocrine disruptors.” Therefore, it is only 100% safe to use edible lube. Yeah…
  3. Apply Vitamin E oil or olive oil to your labia to “help moisturize and strengthen the vaginal tissue.”
    Uh huh…. Maybe don’t do that unless you want to sting or infect your pussy?
  4. Condoms have dairy in them
    Vegans, take note!
  5. “Ideally, you want to find a vegan, paraben-free, glycerin-free, Nonoxynal-9-free, and benzocaine- and lidocaine-free condom.”
    Ok, can I get that at the drug store?
  6. Goop’s favorite sex toys include a $395 vibrating necklace, a $535 Agent Provocateur cat whip, and a $15,000 gold dildo.
    First class all the way with Goop sex toys! Now where’s that diamond studded cock ring?
  7. “Kegels are important at all stages of life.”
    Now that’s good advice, Goop!

Looking to enhance your sex life? You don’t need vegan condoms and a $15,000 dildo to have first-class fun!

Check out more about Goop’s first-ever sex issue here: https://jezebel.com/the-goopiest-advice-from-goops-first-ever-sex-issue-1775614748

This Guy Wants the World to Know How to Unlock Your Phone With Your Dick

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What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done while you were bored? Well, is it weirder than one Reddit user wanting to see if he could unlock his phone with his dick? As if his dick wasn’t versatile enough, he found yet another use for it: unlocking and registering his Samsung Galaxy S7! And now, he feels compelled to “get this info out there” to the world wide web.

“Boredom and curiosity got the best of me,” user meatwad75892 wrote on Reddit. “Tonight I discovered that you can successfully register & unlock a Galaxy S7 with a penis as a ‘fingerprint.’” Fascinating! He continues, “So if you’re just as curious as I was and happen to have a Y chromosome, turn your junk upside down and give it a shot.” As you can imagine, several Reddit users responded with many other things they do with their cocks and phones. Meatwad75892 also reported that he tried to register his tongue, left testicle and nipples with varying results. The internet and the world of technology science thanks you for your important contribution, Meatwad.

Looking for imaginative ways to satiate your curiosity? We’re versatile and open to discovery here!

Check out more about the guy who unlocked his phone with his dick: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/so-it-seems-you-can-unlock-your-cell-phone-with-your-penis_us_57320ae6e4b096e9f092c3d7

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Porn Parody—Cowabunga!

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It was only a matter of time before the good folks at Woodrocket.com realized that there is a sizable demographic who would love to see some hot Ninja Turtle XXX action! You can now watch all your favorite characters from the beloved ’90s comic get down and dirty in the sewers in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles XXX parody, “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles.” That’s right, these guys are really “cumming out of [their] shells” in this hilarious and hot porn parody.

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“You know what porn is the best porn? Pizza guy porn!” April O’Neil and Spreader (the hot female version of Shredder) are going to get a serious taste of Michelangeblow’s, Dongatello’s, and Raphallus’ “turtle wax.” There’s even Master Sphincter (“I am a furry”)! Get ready for these horny Ninja Turtles to “show you the secret of the ooze, the secret of the splooge!” Cowabunga, dudes!

Are you a dude looking to “rock out with your cock out”? Let’s get “50 shades of green” right here!

Check out more about the “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles” here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-porn-parody_us_5730a165e4b096e9f091eb59