Category Archives: Insights

Make This Pasta If You’re a Single Lady Wanting To Get Laid

Did you know there’s a hook up equivalent to engagement chicken, aptly called Come Fuck Me Penne à la Vodka? Apparently, this sexy dish has been circulating among horny single women in New York City since the mid-1990s. Ladies-in-the-know call the pasta a “magical dish” that, when made correctly (this is very important), will make men putty in your hands—or, more specifically, in your bed!

The folklore goes that if you follow the recipe EXACTLY ACCORDING TO INSTRUCTIONS, your man will desire you like never before. Unlike engagement chicken, this isn’t about “putting a ring on it”—it’s just about getting laid! The recipe wasn’t originally supposed to create a sex spell, but after it was perfected and passed along to frisky women, it quickly became known as not only a way to have sex, but as a way to have really, really great sex! Who knew there’s a magic correlation between penne and great orgasms? Seductresses: get cooking!

Looking to get things cooking yourself? Come get hot in the NiteFlirt kitchen!

Check out more about the pasta recipe that will get you laid here: https://www.refinery29.com/come-fuck-me-penne-a-la-vodka-recipe

Women Show Their O Face In Music Video About Female Pleasure

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Feminist rapper Miss Eaves wrote a catchy song about the joys of female masturbation. And now there’s a music video which shows women acting out their O face to illustrate what real female pleasure actually looks like (watch video below). As you can imagine, the effect is quite stimulating.

Miss Eaves explained that the goal of the video was to depict “a bunch of different women with different body types and ethnicities showing their orgasm face…and not in a pornographic way, but in a very realistic way.” While filming, she encouraged the women to avoid “tropes of what they thought should be sexy,” and instead asked them to act out their own individual experience of getting off. “There’s a range of things that arouse people, and a range of ways that people show their arousal…it should be up to you, as far as what you think turns you on and what makes you feel good,” said Miss Eaves. Way to keep it real, ladies!

Looking for some real pleasure yourself? We can be quite stimulating, too!

Check out the video of women showing their O face here: https://www.refinery29.com/2016/08/121765/hump-day-song-shanthony-exum

Man Complains To Ikea About Getting His Balls Stuck In Their Chair

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Norwegian photographer Claus Jørstad recently took to Ikea’s comments page to complain about his recent purchase. Like many customers, he had some strong opinions about the chair he bought—except his hilarious post was shared tens of thousands of times. It seems Ikea’s Marius chair, which he bought to use as a shower stool after a knee injury, has some ill-conceived holes in it—if you have testes.

In his own words: “Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f*ck happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck.” His “nutter,” (or “the skipper and two sailors”) is his nuts, in case that’s not clear, which got stuck in the holes in the chair. The poor bastard panicked a bit, but luckily the cold water kicked on before too long and, because of the natural miracle known as shrinkage, he was freed. Thankfully, he’s come up with a solution to the Ikea chair fiasco: covering the holes with a washcloth. It’s named “weinermonkey.”

Looking for some wet and wild action? We promise no “skipper” or “sailors” will be endangered on our sexy voyage!

Check out more about the man who complained to Ikea after getting his balls stuck in their chair:https://www.dailydot.com/irl/ikea-chair-holes-ball-stuck/

‘Very Right Wing’ People Are Happiest With Their Sex Lives

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A new European study found that people who describe themselves as “very right wing” are the most likely to be satisfied with their sex lives. The survey asked more than 19,000 people in the UK, Germany, France, Denmark and Sweden about their politics and their sex lives, and found in most countries sexual satisfaction increased the further right you went along the political spectrum. Not only that, but the five-country poll found that extreme right-wingers are also happiest overall!

“In the UK, people with left wing politics were least likely to describe their sex lives as satisfying (with 66% of people saying they were), versus 73% for those saying they were ‘very right wing,’” reports Buzzfeed. So, right-wingers are having the best sex and they’re happier—time to switch political teams? The head researcher says not so fast: “There are obviously numerous factors that might explain an individual’s sexual happiness and this study does not suggest that changing your political views would make you happier in bed (or on the stairs, on the kitchen floor, in the shower and on the backseat of the car).” The conservatives are always secretly the kinkiest….

Looking for some sexual satisfaction yourself? Whatever your politics, we can guarantee you’ll find what you like at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the study that shows right wing people are happiest with their sex lives here:https://www.buzzfeed.com/jamesball/green-in-the-streets-ukip-in-the-sheets?utm_term=.xlxyb7R9G5#.blgJBxWLYA

George From ‘Seinfeld’ Porn Parody Is an Internet Hero

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Is there any beloved ’90s sitcom that doesn’t have a porn parody by now? Well, here’s another to forever taint your TV nostalgia: Seinfeld XXX Parody. It was produced by New Sensations in 2009, starring James Deen as Jerry Seinfeld, and earning 10 nominations at the AVN Awards. But the guy who plays George is currently still enjoying his success from the porno—because he’s worshipped by Seinfeld fanboys!

It seems the Facebook group “Seinfeld Shitposting” (basically a Facebook group for image macros from Seinfeld) can’t get enough “Porn Gorg” jokes. While they like “Porn Jery” and “Porn Elane” okay, it’s Porn Gorg, or Steve Pomerantz as he’s known in real life, who they’re fascinated with. George is the perfect candidate for internet jokes, but as Daily Dot speculates, “maybe it’s just funny to imagine a super-virile George Costanza.” And Steve Pomerantz takes pictures of hot models for a living, so really, he’s like a real life Bizarro George alter ego! So, there you go, George—you can now be king of your own small internet universe!

Want to have a successful experience yourself? We know a thing or two about super-virile alter egos here!

Check our more about George from ‘Seinfeld’ porn parody becoming an internet sensation: https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/actor-seinfeld-porn-gorg/

There’s a Sex Toy That Looks Like the Eggplant Emoji

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Everyone’s favorite phallic emoji just went beyond its current use as a hilarious sexual innuendo. Now you can take the beloved cock stand-in out of your sexts and into your bedroom with a new sex toy made in its likeness! That’s right, the Emojibator just went on sale—and it’s not just some cute novelty.

While it may seem like a gimmick intended for laughs, the Emojibator is actually a high-tech vibrator which, according to the product description, promises a “healthy serving of vitamin D.” Some of its features include 10 vibration settings, and a completely watertight “stem.” Made of medical-grade silicone, it’s an exact, real-life replica of the impressive eggplant emoji. Now they just need to create a peach emoji sex toy and we’ll be all set!

Looking to go beyond the eggplant emoji sext yourself? You won’t find any gimmicks in our bedroom!

Check out more about the sex toy that looks like the eggplant emoji here: https://www.refinery29.com/2016/08/121893/emojibator-eggplant-emoji-sex-toy

Pamela Anderson’s Hypocritical Anti-Porn Stance

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If you had to guess the most unlikely person to jump on the anti-porn bandwagon, Pamela Anderson would probably come to mind. Everyone knows the blonde bombshell has profited off her “leaked” sex tape, not to mention has made a career over sexualizing herself. So it comes as a bit of a shock to hear her publicly condemn pornography in a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed, co-authored with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

In the op-ed, they claim the Anthony Weiner (Weinergate) scandal is the result of the “public hazard” known as porn addiction. Aside from the fact that porn has literally nothing to do with Weiner’s seemingly compulsive need to send dick pictures to women on the internet, this type of old-world moralizing basically just puppets the same tired rhetoric that conservative, religious politicians use. And this coming from a woman who capitalized on her sex symbol status for years, starting off as a Playboy bunny, and starring in soft core porn flicks like Barb Wire. If Pamela Anderson really believes “porn is for losers,” she might want to rethink her entire career that has been built almost entirely on getting people off.

Want to have a shame-free, erotic experience? Ain’t no shame in our game!

Check out more about Pamela Anderson’s hypocritical anti-porn stance here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/03/porn-industry-shocked-by-pamela-anderson-s-hypocritical-anti-porn-crusade.html

‘Eat It’: the Art Show Dedicated To Eating Pussy

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The sex-positive, feminist art show, “Eat It,” is using the words of cunnilingus enthusiast Lil Wayne as inspiration: “I got a sweet tooth. Now can I eat you?” The show, curated by comedian and writer Alison Stevenson and filmmaker and artist Elizabeth Vazquez, is all about the joys of eating pussy. The women are hoping to normalize and celebrate the act of going down because, as they say, “It’s an act that’s not as celebrated as other sex acts.”

“Eat It” showcases the art of some amazing feminist artists, including Frances Canon, Fahren Feingold, and Priyanka Paul, to show just how beautiful cunnilingus can be. And the show does not shy away from body parts and details: “The philosophy was basically, the more graphic the better,” Stevenson said. Even if you can’t make the exhibition, they want you to take their muff-diving philosophy to heart: “Ask! Communicate! Communication is a really important part of sex. People shy away from it, they think it ruins the moment, but it will actually make the moment a lot better.” And we can all draw inspiration from Lil Wayne, who says in his song, “Pussy Monster”: “It’s like I gotta eat it just to stay alive.”

Looking for something tasty and sweet? We’ve got just the thing for your sugar craving!

Check out more about “Eat It” here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eat-it-cunnilingus-feminist-art-show_us_57b74f0ce4b03d51368850bd

Dinosaur Butt Sex Book Is Finalist For a Prestigious Award

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Chuck Tingle is the erotic fiction writer behind such beloved works as Pounded In the Butt By My Own Butt. Fans love him for his raunchy sense of humor and hot sci-fi sex. But would anyone call his latest smutty short story “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” a literary masterpiece? Apparently, the answer is yes, according to the folks who judge the esteemed Hugo Award.

The Hugo Award, given annually to the best works in science fiction and fantasy, is widely considered one of the most prestigious science fiction awards. So, you may be wondering—have they lost their damn minds nominating “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”? The short answer is, sort of: according to the Guardian, a right-wing campaign of conservatives is seeking to “combat the Hugo tendency to reward works deemed ‘niche, academic, overtly to the left in ideology and flavour, and ultimately lacking what might best be called visceral, gut-level, swashbuckling fun.’” Given this criteria, yes, it does seem “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” would indeed give readers “gut-level, swashbuckling fun.” Perhaps these judges might also find something of high literary merit over at Pornhub—there’s plenty of butt invasion going on there!

Dinosaurs may be extinct, but sex with them (or any other animal) is not allowed on NiteFlirt. If you’re interested in some raunchy fun that is allowed, we’re confident we could win any award in the x-rated category!

Check out more about the dinosaur butt sex book up for a prestigious award here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/space-raptor-butt-invasion?utm_term=.anyW9oMBYl#.sgjQEAl6KL

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Category Archives: Insights

Make This Pasta If You’re a Single Lady Wanting To Get Laid

Women Show Their O Face In Music Video About Female Pleasure

Man Complains To Ikea About Getting His Balls Stuck In Their Chair

‘Very Right Wing’ People Are Happiest With Their Sex Lives

George From ‘Seinfeld’ Porn Parody Is an Internet Hero

There’s a Sex Toy That Looks Like the Eggplant Emoji

Pamela Anderson’s Hypocritical Anti-Porn Stance

‘Eat It’: the Art Show Dedicated To Eating Pussy

Dinosaur Butt Sex Book Is Finalist For a Prestigious Award