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Helen Mirren Uses Porcelain Dildo As Catherine The Great

History’s kinkiest Royal will be played by none other than Helen Mirren in the new Catherine the Great TV drama. Mirren will reportedly use a porcelain sex toy, said to be modeled on one of Queen Catherine’s many lovers. The drama’s producers said, “It will be a tough call deciding what sexy antics to leave out. At the very least they’ll have to show how she bedded a long line of nubile younger men.”

Legend has it that she would ask another woman to “test drive” lovers to ensure they had the stamina to satisfy her. “Catherine was the Grand Ruler of Russia from 1762 until her death in 1792 at the age of 67, and following the assassination of husband Emperor Peter III in 1762 she was rumoured to have had a string of male lovers and children through illicit affairs,” reports NY Post. The porcelain sex toy was something she had created for the rare occasions she couldn’t get instant access to the real thing.

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Check out more about Helen Mirren playing Catherine the Great: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6026275/Helen-Mirren-handle-porcelain-sex-toy-plays-racy-Russian-monarch-Catherine-Great.html

Suburban Moms Reveal The Scandalous Places They’ve Had Sex

It seems moms in the suburbs are enjoying very frisky sex lives. A new sex survey reveals how much they fuck—and even all the naughty places they’ve fucked. About 80 per cent reported having sex at least once a month and 44 per cent have sex at least once a week.

The soccer moms are also plenty adventurous when it comes to the sex they’re having: one woman said she’s fucked “In the car parked outside random houses on the way back from dinner.” Other respondents said they’ve had sex on the in-laws’ dining room table, golf courses, and at the Opera House. One MILF recalled, “On the boardroom table at the law firm I worked at! My partner also gave me oral sex while I was working in my office with the door closed one evening while there were still people there.” Naughty, naughty moms!

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Check out more about all the places suburban moms have had sex: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5961405/Suburban-mums-reveal-exactly-sex-theyre-having.html

Porn Star Mia Khalifa’s Breast Got Hit By A Hockey Puck

Porn star Mia Khalifa got a lot more than she bargained for at the Stanley Cup recently. She got hit on the breast by a hockey puck going 80 mph, which “deflated” her breast implant. “I was sitting behind the glass during a game, and it came shooting over the glass and it caught me so off guard and I had no idea it was coming,” she said.

“They’re really heavy, it’s pure rubber, they go at about 80mph,” she added. “My left breast is slightly deflated now and I will be getting it fixed next year.” Khalifa’s experience wasn’t all bad, however—as a super fan, she boasted, “I got to take it home, it was the single greatest souvenir any hockey fan can get: a game-used puck that comes at you and hits you,” she said. The once top-ranked performer on Pornhub is now a co-host for sports talk show ‘SportsBall.’ Now that’s a true hockey fan!

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Check out more about Mia Khalifa’s breast getting hit at a hockey game: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6005285/Porn-star-Mia-Khalifa-needs-surgery-breast-hit-hockey-puck-deflated.html

Gardener Fed Up With People Having Sex With His Lady Hedge

A gardener in the UK is not happy about the, ahem, popularity of his “hedge lady.” The sexy hedge sculpture on his lawn has been luring many townspeople—who routinely mount the ornate carving at all hours of the night. The gardener says he’s often woken in the night by the sounds of laughing and rustling, as drunken passersby simulate sex with the “privet lady” he’s cut into his bush.

“I just peered out at about 4:30 in the morning and there was a guy on top of her and going through the motions of having sex with her,” he said. It seems it’s not always men who hump the hedge lady—he’s occasionally witnessed women getting frisky with her, too. That must be one smokin’ hot lawn sculpture!

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Check out more about a gardener fed with people having sex with his lady hedge: https://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2018/07/gardener-fed-up-of-people-having-sex-with-his-lady-hedge/

6 ‘Innocent’ Things That Set Off People’s Sexual Awakenings

Sometimes, it’s the most unexpected things that gets us hot. Whether it’s a toy or a character from a Disney movie, everyone remembers that one strange thing that turned them on. Here are 6 “innocent” things that accidentally sparked people’s sexual awakenings.

Walmart’s arcade games
“They had this one game that was a snowmobile that you rode on and raced around a track. Well, the snowmobile seat vibrated. Needless to say, it was my very favorite game.” You’re in the driver’s seat now, baby!
When Captain Hook kidnapped Tiger Lily
“The scene in Peter Pan where Tiger Lily is kidnapped by Captain Hook to act as bait for Peter undoubtedly sparked my BDSM kink.” They don’t call it a “fantasy” for nothing!
Ralphie Tenelli’s mom on The Magic School Bus
“I recently rewatched my favorite episode of The Magic School Bus since it went on Netflix. While I was watching, I realized that Ralphie’s mom – Dr. Tennelli – was definitely why I had liked it. This should’ve been an early sign of my bisexuality.” The MILFS of cartoons…
Nik-L-Nips
“Anyone remember those squeeze Kool-Aid bottles? With the twist-off tops that you had to suck on? Yeah, I became obsessed with sucking because of those.” Yum!
Jasmine and Jafar kissing
“That scene in Aladdin where Jasmine kisses Jafar. As I was watching it, I suddenly needed to pee.” Who can forget when she lets the silk scarf seductively slide down her body?
Mom’s “back massager”
“When I discovered my mom’s back massager felt really good if you sat on it.” Yup, it’ll do that!

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Check out more about what innocent things set off people’s sexual awakenings:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/sydrobinson1/innocent-childhood-things-that-accidentally-sparked-sexual-a

Sheriff Joe Tricked Into Saying He’d Let Trump Give Him A Blowjob

Sacha Baron Cohen has hoodwinked another conservative celebrity into saying something completely inappropriate. This time, it’s “America’s toughest sheriff” Joe Arpaio saying he would let Trump give him a blowjob. Cohen, playing the part of a Finnish YouTube star, asked: “If Donald Trump calls you up after this and says, ‘Sheriff Joe, I want to offer you an amazing blowjob,’ would you say yes?”

“I may have to say yes,” Arpaio said. Trump pardoned the former Arizona sheriff after he was convicted of criminal contempt for ignoring a court order to stop detaining people based on race. Later in the interview, Cohen asked Arpaio if he knew Trump had had a “golden shower.” Arpaio admitted he became suspicious when the interview questions turned to sex: “I started to get a little angry, a little sad, but I went through it,” he told the Arizona Republic.

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Check out more about Sacha Baron Cohen tricking Sheriff Joe into saying he’d let Trump give him oral sex: https://nypost.com/2018/08/06/sacha-baron-cohen-tricks-sheriff-joe-into-saying-hed-let-trump-perform-oral-sex-on-him/

Don’t Reuse Your Condoms, The CDC Warns

Condoms are a great way to practice safe sex—when used correctly. Apparently, that doesn’t always happen, according to the CDC (the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Recently, they issued a warning on Twitter, saying: “We say it because people do it: Don’t wash or reuse condoms! Use a fresh one for each sex act.”

The CDC added, “Incorrect use, such as reusing a condom or using more than one at a time, diminishes the protective effect of condoms by leading to condom breakage, slippage, or leakage.” Of course, some Twitter users’ responses were pretty great: “Hold on babe, let me just grab one off the clothes line…” Another tweet said, “Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with all these condoms in the dishwasher now?” Condoms are a single-use item (duh): “Let’s say you have sex three times in one night — you should be changing the condom three times or before the next sex act,” says the CDC.

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Check out more about the CDC’s tweet about not reusing condoms: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/carolinekee/dont-wash-reuse-condoms-cdc-warns

Sometimes Men Aren’t Always Happy After Sex, Study Finds

A new study discovered a very surprising fact: sometimes men don’t feel happy after sex. Past research has found that post-coital dysphoria—the experience of sadness, crying, anxiety, or irritability after otherwise hot sex—can affect some women. But this latest study is the first time the strange condition has been documented in men.

Researchers surveyed more than 1,200 men from several different countries, finding that 41 percent had experienced symptoms of post-coital dysphoria, though only 4 percent experienced symptoms with any regularity. The study says that the range of emotions after sex include “not wanting to be touched, a desire to be left alone or to leave the room, and feeling unsatisfied, annoyed and fidgety.” Researchers still don’t understand the phenomenon, but explain “the male experience of sex can be far more varied and complex than previously thought.”

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Check out more about a study that shows men sometimes aren’t happy after sex: https://jezebel.com/sometimes-men-get-sad-after-sex-1827967387

Fetish Cosplay Game Banned From iPhones Comes To Nintendo Switch

Maybe they should change the name “Nintendo” to “The Big Nintend-Oh.” A game featuring a fetish model that was deemed too racy for iPhones has been picked up by Nintendo Switch. Launched by and featuring X-rated Japanese model Eri Katama, the player ‘calls’ her, answers sexual questions via ‘yes’ and ‘no’ buttons on screen, and is then rewarded with naughty pictures and videos.

The first part of the game is free to download and features Katama in a latex catsuit posing suggestively. After that users have to pay a fee for each virtual conversation and its resultant racy rewards. The game is entirely in Japanese with no English, and is a surprising departure from Nintendo Switch’s usual family-friendly offerings.

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Check out more about the fetish cosplay game on Nintendo: https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6825973/fetish-cosplay-game-banned-on-ios-comes-to-nintendo-switch/

You Can Soon Have ‘Sex’ With Amazon’s Alexa

Everyone’s favorite virtual assistant will soon be able to assist in your sex life! Alexa, Amazon’s voice controlled AI, has made its way into the Lovense series of smart sex toys. Lovense toys can already be controlled remotely using an app, but before long you can give Alexa commands that will also activate them.

Kinksters will be able to control their partners’ sex toys from afar, including changing the intensity of the vibrations. You’ll be able to ask Alexa to make you or your partner “smile,” which will result in a less powerful buzz than asking to “moan,” or even “scream.” Lovense is also working on making it possible for Alexa to set an alarm clock for the toys to vibrate at specific times of the day, and for Alexa to sync your toy to Spotify to make it buzz along to music.

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Check out more about using Alexa in the bedroom: https://nypost.com/2018/07/20/you-can-soon-have-sex-with-amazons-alexa/