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Lifeguard Gets Embarrassing Email From Boss About His Huge Dick

One of the best things about public pools is getting to check out the hot lifeguards on duty. That is, unless you are the pool’s manager, who has to deal with complaints about your employee’s, um, sizable flotation device. That’s right, a 20-year-old lifeguard recently shared the embarrassing email he received from his boss about his too tight swim trunks.

The boss writes: “We have received a few complaints in the past few weeks from a few members about your attire. I’m not sure the most prudent way I can put this, but a few parents have complained about how visible your anatomy is in your suit.” The boss then tried to minimize the awkwardness when he added, “The possibility I see at this point is offering you the board shorts instead.” So now the well-hung lifeguard, in addition to sharing the amazingly awkward email (read below), also posted on Reddit’s thread “Big Dick Problems” about the unforeseen consequences he has experienced because of his 6-inches soft and 9.5 inches hard penis. It seems bathing suits isn’t his biggest problem: “Only one person has been able to deepthroat it all the way.” We guess that big bulge in some guys’ speedos isn’t always a day at the beach, er, pool.

Feel like getting a little wet and wild yourself? Whatever flotation device you’re carrying, swim it over our way!

Check out more about the lifeguard’s embarrassing email about his huge dick here: https://www.thegailygrind.com/2016/01/25/lifeguard-gets-embarrassing-email-from-his-boss-after-complaints-about-his-huge-eggplant/

BDSM Done Right in The Addams Family

Well before Fifty Shades of Grey introduced viewers to BDSM, there was this PG-13, ’90s classic: The Addams family. That’s right, Morticia and Gomez Addams—who arguably had one of the best fictional relationships of all time—waltzed, terrorized conventional neighbors, and yes, had very hot, very kinky sex! Who can forget the famous first lines of the movie, in which Morticia says to Gomez, “Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me.” The camera zooms closer: “Do it again.”?

The couple represents a normal (albeit spooky), happily married pair—who also really enjoy consensual BDSM. In the impressively progressive 1960’s television version, Morticia refers to the family’s torture room as “the play room.” And in the climax of the film, she delights in being strapped to a rack and tortured. She even encourages Gomez, who’s getting too turned on to untie her, with “Later, my dearest.” And Morticia isn’t the only one who likes to be dominated: “Don’t torture yourself, Gomez,” Morticia says. “That’s my job.” The couple’s kinky sex life makes Morticia’s pet name for Gomez all the more perfect: “mon sauvage” or “my wild.”

Looking to get a little kinky? Just snap your fingers twice and call us up, cara mia!

Check out more about BDSM in The Addams Family here: https://offbeathome.com/2015/09/addams-family-bdsm

There’s Now a Free Masturbation Booth in the Middle of New York City

The makers of the “Guybrator” decided to do a solid for the New York City workingman by putting a masturbation booth in Manhattan. “The “GuyFi” looks like a photo booth (and we all know the naughty shenanigans that happen in those…), complete with a curtain, a chair, and a laptop. The idea was to provide a literal relief from the hustle and bustle of the eight-hour work day.

The GuyFi’s creators had this to say about their philanthropic creation: “There’s no denying that working a nine to five job can be stressful on both your mind and body, especially in a non-stop city like Manhattan. It’s really important for guys to look after themselves so that they can stay healthy and focus properly on the task in hand.” And not only is it great for helping guys to relieve stress by getting off in the middle of the work day, but it might also alleviate the all too common problem of public masturbation. Maybe now a public masturbator might consider ducking into a GuyFi instead of choking it behind their hats on subway trains!

Looking for ways to relieve weekday stress? Just pop into NiteFlirt and we’ll do the rest!

Check out more about the free masturbation booth in NYC here: https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2016/01/new-york-city-masturbation-booth

Kanye Denies His Kinkiness—And That’s a Shame

This week, America’s favorite self-aggrandizing rapper, the Yeezus aka Kanye West, got into yet another public feud on social media, this time with Wiz Khalifa. When West stepped over the line and insulted his and Khalifa’s ex, Amber Rose, the anti-slut shaming hero chimed in, calling out West for his kinky proclivities. She tweeted this: “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur asshole anymore? #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch” West immediately denied his love of ass play, replying with: “Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my ass … I don’t do that … I stay away from that area all together.”

It’s a shame that West doesn’t embrace his kinkiness, but what many proponents of consensual adult kink have said is much worse is Amber Rose’s homophobic and sexist tweet suggesting that men who like ass play are “bitches.” They’ve also called her out for her disappointing and hypocritical sex shaming. One sex expert commented, “Especially with the hashtag, #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch, that is exactly the kind of homophobia that makes it difficult to explore prostate play. It’s the male equivalent of slut shaming.” He adds that lots of men—gay and straight—enjoy prostate stimulation, and there’s nothing wrong with that. “Your nerve endings have nothing to do with your sexual orientation,” he explains. Too bad Kanye didn’t get the memo.

In the mood for some kinky fun? Ain’t no shame in this game!

Check out more about Kayne denying his kinkiness here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/01/30/don-t-kink-shame-kanye.html

Meet the Woman Who’s a Professional Dick Photographer

New York City photographer Soraya Doolbaz has managed to turn her hobby of taking dick pics into a successful career. Well before she started turning dicks into works of art, she’d look at the dick pics sent to her and think about how much better she could do if she took them herself with a nice camera. Then one day after noticing dolls in a Walmart, she got the idea to create personalities out of dicks by dressing them up in specially made costumes.

Eager friends started calling her to photograph their boyfriends, who agreed to have their cocks dressed up and photographed professionally. The girlfriends fluff, Doolbaz takes the dick pics, and everyone’s happy. As one model put it, “everybody wants to feel desirable.” Doolbaz now has a booming dick pic business, and she’s even shown her work at Art Basel, one the biggest international art fares in the world. She also sells adult novelty items like dick calendars and mugs. “It’s surprising and very delightful that people just like dicks on things,” she says. Ain’t that the truth!

Looking for ways to feel desirable? We can make you feel like a work of art right here!

Check out more about the woman who’s a professional dick photographer here: https://nypost.com/video/meet-the-penis-fashion-photographer/

Ravers Protest Over Glory Holes

Every raver knows the essentials of a killer party: speaker-thumping music, crazy get-ups, laser lights and Day-Glo, and of course, glory holes! That’s why hundreds of protesters have taken up camp in Montreal’s nightlife district to protest the lack of glory holes at raves. They’re hoping to pressure promoters into getting “on the right side of history,” which means, as one raver says, “one where glory holes are plentiful and ubiquitous.”

Event organizers say they have nothing against letting ravers have a party all night with glory holes—but legally, they’re simply not allowed to. “Right now, it’s illegal to give blow jobs to strangers in venues that are open to the public,” says a promoter. The event organizers are encouraging the ravers to pack up their camps and take it to the man: “Culture is downstream from politics, and so if you want a random person to wrap their lips around your dick, you got to email your politicians and tell them that you won’t vote for them unless they’re pro glory hole.” But the ravers aren’t convinced, saying the only way they’ll leave is if the promoters give them a blowjob—without or without a glory hole.

Looking for a wild and crazy party. We can keep you up all night long here!

Check out more about ravers protesting over glory holes here: https://www.ravenews.ca/en/read/2016/january/12/

Sweden’s Giant Snow Dick Was Erased…So an Even Bigger One Was Erected

When community members started complaining about a giant dick in a Swedish park, the city ordered one of its workers to erase it. The dick, which was carved into the snow over a frozen moat, needed to be scraped off bit-by-bit (thus sparking hilarious Twitter responses like “Yeah, right there. That’s it.”). The worker felt such strong penis envy while erasing the giant dick that he knew he had to replace it. And he wasn’t the only one who had strong feelings of remorse over the removal: a Facebook group called “restore the snow penis” quickly achieved more than 3,300 likes!

So now in the erased snow dick’s place is an even bigger, even more spectacular massive snow dick (see images below)! The worker used a snowblower, and erected it on such a huge scale that it can only be seen from above. This means that no one on the ground can see it and become offended. “When an established artist paints a penis in oil paint, he can hang in a frame in a gallery. But if an ordinary citizen draws a penis in the snow, it’s the obscene and must be removed. I mean it’s just about who the creator is,” the hero, er, worker said.

Looking for something spectacular yourself? Everything is bigger and better with us!

Check out images of the giant snow dick here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sweden-snow-penis_us_56a1b0abe4b0d8cc10999534

6 Confessions From Erotica Writers

Sure, you’ve read their stories of hot, naughty adventures to add a little spice to your life, but have you ever wondered what it would be like to actually write the erotica so many others get off to? As you can imagine, writing erotica is pretty thrilling work. Here are 6 confessions of erotica writers.

“I love writing erotic stories…I just hope one day I can find a woman willing to use some of those idea…”
Cheer up, there’s plenty of women who would be into whatever crazy, kinky thing you dream up—we’re proof!
“I write erotica and sometimes I get so turned on that I have to stop and regroup before I can finish.”
Re-grouping, eh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
“I write erotic fiction to quench my sexual frustration.”
That works. But of course, there are other, more satisfying ways to quench one’s sexual frustration…
“As an erotica writer, I watch porn for educational and inspirational use.”
Sounds like some fun and stimulating research!
“I write erotica and my boyfriend makes me read it to him. It’s unbelievably arousing.”
Seems perfectly believable to us!
“I love writing erotica. I’m turned on by the idea of people using my words to get themselves off.”
We know how that goes—getting you turned on is what turns us on here!

In the mood for some hot, erotic experiences? Real-life is always better than fiction!

Check out more confessions from erotica writers here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/krystieyandoli/confessions-from-erotica-writers#.fcBA1Nv9JV

You Won’t Believe this Filthy Song That Puts Real Sexts to Music

A music student at Vanderbilt University found inspiration for his viral song in a pretty unexpected place: sexts. The filthy, hilarious song whose lyrics are taken from “real, word-for-word consensual texts sent to a young woman by fraternity members” is unlike anything you’ve ever heard. “Texts From A Beta” has had more than 283,000 views on YouTube—and its popularity has as much to do with the pornographic content as with the ridiculousness of the sexts themselves!

This is how the song starts: “I need you to greet me with your mouth wide open/ I’m so hungover and I need to fuck. // Wanna get filled later?/ Can you blow me? // Wanna fuck your throat for a while.” The musician said he got the idea for the song after his female friend showed him the dirty sexts she’d been getting from frat guys. The reason he put the sexts to music was to get laughs, pure and simple: “My friend wasn’t offended by these texts,” he said. Other lyrics include such gems as “There’s gonna be a party in your ass tomorrow, and my cock’s the only one that’s invited” and “My load + your face.” Stay classy, frat dudes.

Looking for something a little raunchy? We’re always down for some dirty talk!

Check out the song that puts sexts to music here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/texts-from-a-beta-matt-rafferty_us_56a64c49e4b076aadcc73d42

Tony the Tiger Has Been Getting A Lot of Unwanted Attention Lately—From Furries

You’ve probably heard of the furries. You know, those kinksters who get off on dressing up as animals? Well, you know who they think is just grrrrreat? That’s right: Tony the Tiger! The beloved cereal mascot has been on the furries’ randy radar lately—much to the delight of the internet, and to the chagrin of Tony the Tiger.

The furries have been sending Tony naughty Twitter comments like “frost my cakes daddy” and “I want to see the stripes under your shorts Tony.” Tony has gone on the defensive, blocking the furries en masse from his Twitter account. So is Tony actually the sexiest cereal mascot or is it just a weird furry-fetish thing? Once, a Vice writer called Tony a “Michelangelo-built tiger-man,” commenting on his sexy shoulder-to-hip ratio. Just goes to show, furry or no, folks want big T to fill their cereal bowls with his frosty flakes!

Want to have a grrrrreat experience yourself? Come bring the kink to our breakfast table!

Check out more about furries’ sex offers to Tony the Tiger here: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tony-the-tiger-furries-twitter_us_56a7f600e4b04936c0e8a519