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10 Types of Sex Everyone Will Have at Least Once

We’ve all had a moment while having sex where you think to yourself, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” And that’s because when you fantasize about it—shower sex, for example—it seems so perfectly erotic. But once you’re actually doing it, the reality can sometimes be a bit less sexy. Here are the 10 types of sex everyone will have at least once (check out Buzzfeed’s hilarious illustrated version below).

The “weirdly sticky experimental food” sex
Chocolate sauce always seems so sensual…until it’s dripping down your body in brown, runny streaks and getting all over the bed!

The “we haven’t done it in this room before” sex
When your elbows are digging into the kitchen tile and the drawers are sticking into your legs, it’s easy to see why people have sex in beds!

The “tried to do a sexy striptease but was wearing skinny jeans” sex
Face, meet floor.

The “quickie before work” sex

“No pressure but I’ve got a breakfast meeting.”

The “probably too hungover to have sex” sex
“Can you go on top now?”
*face turns green* “OH GOD NO.”

The “shower sex is meant to be great” sex
“You’re holding on a bit too tight.”
“I’m scared I’ll slip and knock my head!”

The “my housemates are right outside the door so we have to be quiet” sex
That can be hot!

The “I want to be able to say I had sex outside” sex
“Hurry up, I’m freezing my tits off!”

The “I saw the position in porn and thought it looked super cool” sex
Upside down, in a head-stand, legs in the air, doing push-ups—yup, porn makes it look so easy!

The “super lazy but seriously satisfying Sunday afternoon” sex
“Skyrockets in flight. Phew! Afternoon delight!”

Looking to fulfill your fantasy? You don’t have to “wait until the middle of the cold dark night” to have a super satisfying experience—take off with us right here!

Check out Buzzfeed’s illustrated list “Types Of Sex Everyone Will Have At Least Once” here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/floperry/types-of-sex-every-couple-has-at-least-once#.hlxbW39OpM

Donald Trump Wanted to Debate His Dick Size

In what has to be one of the most bizarre moments in election history, Donald Trump felt the need to bring up his dick as an important talking point during the most recent GOP presidential debate. Trump wants the American people to rest assured that he does not have a small penis. Because, obviously, one of the most important requirements for being the leader of the free world is cock size.

He was responding to comments Marco Rubio made about Trump’s hands, when Rubio basically implied—much in the way that middler schoolers do—that his small hands mean he also has a small penis. Trump responded by saying, “Look at those hands. Are they small hands? [Rubio] referred to my hands, ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.” Rubio brought up Trump’s hands as a response to being called “Little Rubio” by the businessman, saying, “And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.” There’s only one logical way for this public pissing match to end: with both candidates whipping out Little Trump and Little Rubio and letting the people decide! Now that’s the American way!

Want to “bring up the cock” in non-political ways? We can guarantee there’s no problem with that!

Check out more about Donald Trump debating his dick size here: https://www.cnn.com/2016/03/03/politics/donald-trump-small-hands-marco-rubio/

This Is What Happens When Comedians Feed Porn Stars Their Lines

Ever wonder what the people are talking about during the part of the porno you always fast forward through? Well, in a new Comedy Central video, two comedians feed porn stars their lines in real time, while they are fucking, and the result is hilarious. Here are some of the most ridiculous lines they tell the adult entertainers to say during “the action” scenes (watch the video below).

When the guy enters the room he says, “This is the part of the porno everyone fast forwards through. So we can say whatever we want. Obama’s a Muslim.” Later, once the lady takes off her shirt, he decides it’s time to get this party started: “People are gonna start watching the porno now, so we should do sex.” Then he goes down on her, and she says, “You’re really lucky I’m not suede. Because my vagina would be ruined, like how suede gets ruined when it gets wet.” When they start fucking doggy style, the comedian has the guy put one leg up and say, “I’m just like Washington crossing the Delaware!” And when it’s time for the money-shot (on her tits), the guy yells, “Get out of here, sticky ghost babies!” Of course, she doesn’t miss a beat: “My tits are their graveyard!”

Want us to show you “how we stayed warm in the military”? We can make you “wish you had fifty tits!”

Check out the video of comedians feeding porn stars their lines here:

And you can read more here: https://distractify.com/humor/2016/02/26/mustafa-comedian-porn-narration

Skype Sex Confessions

Oh, the joys of Skype sex! Whether you’re trying to keep the spark alive in a long-distance relationship, or trying to, um, “get to know someone better,” Skype sex definitely gets the job done. Here are 7 people’s confessions about their experiences with Skype sex.

“The best part about Skype sex is that you don’t have to cuddle afterwards.”
True. You also don’t have to sneak away early in the morning…

“Long distance Skype sex is the worst. His battery died but my libido didn’t….”
Quick, somebody get that man an outlet!

“I have weekly Skype sex with a stunning married woman. She says it actually saved her marriage.”
Skype sex saves the day again!

“I once had Skype sex with 2 guys back to back. One was my ex, the other was a stranger.”
Sounds like you had a very fun and productive day!

“My bf came twice from our Skype sex tonight and all I did was moan.”
A sexy success story!

“Just realized: I’ve had Skype sex with a guy in Ireland, Scotland, and England. Now I just have Canada and Australia to check off my list.”
Around the world in 30 days!

“Skype sex is only good for so long. It just makes me crave him more than ever.”
Well, yeah. That’s the point!

In the mood for some long-distance lovin’? We can keep your libido charged all night long!

Check out more Skype sex confessions by clicking on the dial pad!

There’s Now a VR-Capable Twerking Robot Butt Sex Toy

The good folks at PornHub are at it again with their newest sex toy, aptly named TwerkingButt. And just as the name implies it is indeed a twerking robot butt sex toy that you can most certainly fuck. Not only that, but it also comes with a virtual reality headset that offers “the first 3D cybersex experience.”

TwerkingButt, which looks like an upside down jiggly ass, does so much more than just twerk for you. The artificial ass has a feature called Cyberskin that heats up, vibrates, and massages in six different settings. There’s also the Deluxe Version, which PornHub says is capable of “endless twerking settings.” Both the versions (Classic or Deluxe) come with a VR headset for an immersive cybersex experience—and a water jet for cleaning up after you “make it rain”!

Want to have an immersive cyber experience? Ain’t nothing artificial about our jiggle!

Check out more about the VR-capable twerking robot butt sex toy here: https://gizmodo.com/finally-a-vr-enabled-twerking-robot-butt-that-you-can-1716792260

Study Shows Listening to More Music Will Get You Laid

What is it about music that is such a turn on? Is it the way it gets your heart racing when you dance, the sensuous rhythms, or the sexiness of a sultry voice? Whatever the case, music is hot, and now a study proves what we’ve long known about its uncanny abilities: it will get you laid

For the study, researchers asked 30,000 people from all over the world to play music out loud at home for a week. And what the researchers found was that the increase in music also led to a 66% increase in sex! It also caused people to say “I love you” 50% more. Another interesting sexy-music fact: 59% of participants said people become more attractive when they play songs the participants’ love. So go ahead and pump those jams—it’ll lead to some other pumping later!

In the mood for something sultry? Turn down the lights, turn up the volume, and let’s get down to the music!

Check out more about the study that shows listening to more music will get you laid: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/listening-to-music-means-more-sex

The Most Popular Porn Searches in Each State

though the US seems more divided than ever, there is one thing that perfectly unites red and blue states: a love of porn. It’s true. PornHub compiled its data to find out what porn searches are most popular in each state. And as it turns out, Americans in varying regions really aren’t all that different after all.

“Lesbian” is the most popular porn nation-wide. “Step-mom” and “step-sister” are also quite popular, especially in the naughty mid-west. (Just don’t ask any of our Flirt’s for step anything, we don’t allow it). Even very culturally different places like the northeast and Alaska love them some step-MILFs! Finally, the more fringe searches are “ebony,” concentrated mainly in the south, and “cartoon” porn, which you can find all over because, honestly, who doesn’t love animated fucking?! So keep these important stats in mind on your next domestic vacation: “If there’s one thing Rhode Islanders love, for example, it’s the great seafood—and MILFs,” reports Gizmodo.

Looking to broaden your cultural tastes? Search no more: we’ve got everything you’re looking for and then some right here!

Check out more about the most popular porn searches in each state: https://gizmodo.com/what-kind-of-porn-is-most-popular-in-every-state-1761551304

Inside the Wild ‘Full House’ Porn Parody

There are two things Americans love: cheesy ’90s sitcoms about happy, quirky families and porn. So what better way to give the people what they want than with a Full House porn parody? Pornhub’s sex-com is timed to be released with Fuller House, Netflix’s reboot of the popular show. Thankfully, there is nothing family-friendly about the XXX version, Full Holes.

It is, however, full of ’90s nostalgia, as the legendary porn parody director Lee Roy Myers really was a fan of the show: when BJ (aka D.J.) is caught living up to her name, she says that she’s “looser than a pair of Hammer pants!” Full Holes is Pornhub’s first original movie, and since the company refers to itself as the “Netflix of porn,” it makes sense that it would riff on a Netflix original show. “Netflix created the template for successful, original content creation and we’re providing the adult alternative,” says Pornhub Vice President Corey Price. Whether the parody ruins your childhood memories or fulfills all your naughtiest fantasies, you have to appreciate such gems as Kimmy Gobbler’s winning line, “Thanks for the dick, you greasy monkey.” As Uncle Jizzy, er, Jessie, would say: “Have pussy!”

In the mood to fulfill all your wildest fantasies? Let us just say, “You got it, dude!”

Check out more about the Full House porn parody here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/02/27/inside-the-wild-full-house-porn-parody.html

7 Sex Tips To Make Her Cum

The pussy is a wonderful and mysterious thing. Despite its ability to have multiple orgasms, among its many other talents, it’s just not as easy for most women to get off as men. But now there’s new research of over 2,000 women which found some helpful information about what makes women cum. Here are 7 sex tips to try on her or yourself for better and more intense orgasms.

Edging, or getting super close to cumming and then backing off
Over 65% of the women surveyed said this helps them to cum better and stronger.
Hinting or teasing sensitive areas
Teasing is when you approach those sensitive areas but don’t actually touch them. “Like touching the area outside of the vaginal opening without going in,” explains a sex researcher on the study. Over 71% of women said this really turns them on and makes them cum better.
Keeping the speed, movement, pressure, etc. exactly the same
Nearly 67% of the women said that consistency is key when it comes to cumming. “Just before orgasm, it’s like a sort of tightrope where its easy for that to be the point where you lose it,” says a researcher. “A lot of women said that everything needs to be held constant.” So if she says “Don’t stop!” then, you know, don’t stop!
Or, switch things up to keep it interesting
Different strokes for different folks, right? 78% of women said they like unpredictable sensations at different points of arousal—which makes sense considering the different vibe patterns on sex toys.
Keeping some sort of rhythm or pattern
Most women said they know what they like when it comes to a sex rhythm and that it always gets them off. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
Change the technique after the first orgasm when going for a second one
Changing it up on the second go-around is the key to cumming really good again.
Continuous, circular motions on the clit
A whopping 78% of women swear by this.

Want to have a better, more intense sexual experience? We’ve got all the right moves here!

Check out more sex tips to make her cum here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseygueren/sex-tips-for-vaginas#.qn93Y70m2M

Here’s What Edible Body Paint is Really Like

If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably thought about including edibles in the bedroom. Maybe you’ve even tried the usual sex-snacks like whipped cream, strawberries, and chocolate sauce, but now you’re thinking of upgrading to edible body paint. If so, here’s what you should know about what edible body paint is really like.

First, there are three flavors: strawberries & champagne, chocolate, and vanilla chocolate. Although the strawberries & champagne flavor looks shockingly like blood (ick!), it tastes surprisingly sweet and delicious! As for chocolate, it tastes sort of like Tootsie Rolls, but the metallic aftertaste can be a real turn off. Finally, the vanilla chocolate flavor, which definitely looks like cum, had mixed reactions ranging from “Gross!” to “Not bad” from the taste testers. And as for application, the strawberry one paints nicely, while the chocolate is very streaky, and the vanilla, again, just looks like cum. Now get licking!

In the mood for something tasty and sweet? We’ve got all the best flavors right here!

Check out more about what edible body paint is really like here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/gracespelman/we-tried-edible-body-paint-and-boy-was-it-sticky#.fw00wZnApY